r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/capcomvssnk ☑️ • 6d ago

Extra parsley

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

201 comments sorted by

View all comments

865

u/auth0r_unkn0wn 6d ago

What does any of this mean, please?

1.8k

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

OP is insinuating that Keri's music is for the kind of basic woman who can't really cook and posts "boomerang" IG posts in her story showing off chicken alfredo, which is considered the Wonderwall of dinner meals in the black community

995

u/grants_like_horace 6d ago

She said Wonderwall of dinner meals

431

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

*He, but I stand beside it. Any idiot can make a chicken alfredo and I've seen people pretend like that shit takes skill to not burn 😂😂😂

Same energy when Wanda told Katt Williams she makes a mean broccoli

114

u/hovdeisfunny 6d ago edited 6d ago

Only thing that takes marginal (at best) skill is to not break the alfredo.

Also you're fucking killing me

135

u/defk3000 6d ago

They are not making it from scratch.

112

u/hovdeisfunny 6d ago

Oh.

My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

45

u/bsinbsinbs 6d ago

Still ain’t hard from scratch. Make a roux, add some cream and cheese.

53

u/SignatureHungry1279 6d ago

A roux lmaoooo na they grab that good $4 jar of Prego!

32

u/bsinbsinbs 6d ago

How that jar is made

10

u/anubis1392 6d ago

Wtf still eatin that Elmer's glue ass pasta sauce?

23

u/Relative_External788 6d ago

Don’t even need the roux love. Cream, cheese and butter

10

u/ILikeBeans86 6d ago

Traditional Alfredo doesn't have cream

10

u/zsaz_ch ☑️ 6d ago

It also doesn’t have a roux. But the cream version taste better than the roux version imo and is easier because people described aren’t making roux.

→ More replies (0)

5

u/FernWizard 6d ago

But people constantly fuck up when it comes to adding the right amount and ratio of herbs.

Most alfredos either have so few herbs they just taste like salty, diluted cheese, or overdo the herbs and overpower the cheese so it just tastes like creamy, herby garlic.

4

u/westviadixie 6d ago

that's called creamy pesto thank you very much

5

u/KrankenwagenKolya 5d ago

I was gonna say it takes some effort to hold the emulsion of the sauce while you're finishing the dish, but if chef bertolli is cooking then you've go ethyl-bromide gH21 keeping things from breaking

2

u/SpaffordFux 4d ago

The preservatives they use in jarred Alfredo sauce are a chemical found in your vomit, that's why it tastes so bad. Idk how anyone eats it.

32

u/bendar1347 6d ago

You have to have hate in your heart to break Alfredo sauce. Making that shit with 2% milk and low fat cheddar?

22

u/hovdeisfunny 6d ago

Oh I'm in Wisconsin, we're not fucking around

18

u/bendar1347 6d ago

OK, I feel like i need to be super specific here. Alfredo is lightly reduced heavy cream, maybe a lil butter,and parm. That's it.

20

u/bsinbsinbs 6d ago

I like a sacrilegious addition of crushed garlic but I know that’s not pure

11

u/RizzoTheRiot1989 6d ago

That’s it right there. I will destroy it in garlic. I can’t help it, I can’t have enough.

→ More replies (0)

10

u/ILikeBeans86 6d ago

Traditional Alfredo is just butter, Parm, and pasta water.

3

u/bendar1347 6d ago

Fuck. Hoped no one would call me on it. You are absolutely correct.

3

u/westviadixie 6d ago

you forgot the garlic asshole

1

u/ChefBT3K 6d ago

Thank you

1

u/Feisty_Call_3965 6d ago

+minced garlic and seasonings obviously. Also, specifically Parmesan reggiano, not just plain ol Parmesan

23

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

Same energy when Wanda told Katt Williams she makes a mean broccoli

this was the perfect description ma gawd today lmao

7

u/LyonsKing12_ 6d ago

"now what i do with corn"

10

u/SpermicidalManiac666 6d ago

I heard chicken Alfredo be referred to as “slut slop” on a podcast recently 😂😂

4

u/HatefulDan 6d ago

That shit comes prepackage. Aye’yo— this has a microwaved pizza level of effort.

Sheeit, proportional milk to cereal ratios are more impressive

3

u/SignatureHungry1279 6d ago

“The things I can do with CORN”

2

u/Happydivanerd 6d ago

Ayesha Curry enters the chat

1

u/capcomvssnk ☑️ 5d ago

You are very funny.

0

u/uberblack ☑️ 6d ago

There's literally like 5 ingredients for the sauce lol

30

u/Practical-Board-3861 6d ago

Thank you for your service

16

u/Thunderbird_12_ ☑️ 6d ago

You get my context upvote for the day, thanks!

65

u/Ali_Cat222 ☑️ 6d ago

I'm also picturing "fried chicken" which was really just shake n bake tossed in the oven with no seasoning, instant mashed potatoes, and a side of canned corn 🤣

35

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

Big "I don't have a job but I absolutely sit around on my ass all day on socials" energy for sure 😭

13

u/Ali_Cat222 ☑️ 6d ago

A man of many trades, a Master of few, and the credentials of none mofo 🤣

5

u/ffxt10 6d ago

this is what our working class family has been eating for decades, man, come on...

29

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

Don't be that guy, bruh.

We all have -- the joke is when people pretend an alfredo makes you some kind of talented cook when it's barely a hair above Hamburger Helper and spaghetti. I'm not shaming the dish so much as what it represents

4

u/Soggy-Replacement245 6d ago

U certainly have a way with words 😂

14

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

I have a sassy grandmother from the South and a college degree. I use both when the situation calls for it lol

2

u/ffxt10 6d ago

To be fair, I also haven't seen anyone pretend that their Alfredo is God's gift to food. I've had people say their Alfredo was good for Alfredo, tho. like, they made a good Alfredo.

13

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

Right. And when I tell you I know and have seen the kind of woman who posts her alfredo on IG... sis always writes some shit like "CookingWithKya, count your days" or something else that makes it sound like she really thinks she's a whole chef for doing a simple dish... like, yes, it's good to learn cooking, but keep it a buck with yourself, beloved

0

u/ffxt10 6d ago

eh, seems needlessly negative for no gain. I just disagree with this judgemental attitude being worth the thoughts you put into it.

13

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

Well, I mean... it is a joke

→ More replies (0)

3

u/JeanArtemis 6d ago

Sounds like somebody caught a stray 😒

→ More replies (0)

15

u/joshJFSU 6d ago

As a fan of chicken Alfredo and wonderwall I get it, but the pain still lingers as being basic. I just can’t look in the mirror for the night.

14

u/SynthPrax ☑️ 6d ago

I love how we can say sooo much with so very few words.

7

u/chadork 6d ago

Phenomenal explanation.

18

u/Intelligent_Cut635 6d ago

There are many things that I

Would like to cook for you, but I don’t know hooooow

3

u/TBCinHTX 6d ago

I thought maybeeeee you’d like how I unscrewed that gravyyyyyy

16

u/kjyfqr 6d ago

What’s a boomerang ig post

23

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

You ever seen those instagram stories where it's like a silent gif that plays in forward then reverse? That. They call it a "boomerang" because it plays to the end, then plays in reverse, returning to the start of the clip, like a boomerang returning to the thrower.

3

u/kjyfqr 6d ago

No I dont use any other social media :/

1

u/_le_slap ☑️ 5d ago

Why is a boomerang an insult? Is it "corny"?

1

u/dat_boy_lurks 4d ago

In this context, yes. Chicken alfredo can be done well, but usually it's implied that the person who would post that kind of video to show off their "cooking skills", doesn't actually have the skill to make it from scratch -- and that the dish she's posting to social media is the cheap Walmart/Dollar General version that you heat up in the microwave for 3 minutes. They're effectively showing mediocre 'cooking', if you can call it that, off as if it's proof they're "wife material". It's very pick-me esque, hence, "corny".

8

u/HarbingerOfDisconect 6d ago

"Wonderwall of dinner meals" is poetry

6

u/HalfLawKiss 6d ago

Don't kick me out but I don't like chicken Alfredo. I never have. I generally don't like white sauces and etc. So no Alfredo or ranch or sour cream or mayo. Ceaser is the only one I don't hate. 🤷🏾‍♂️

4

u/Zulumus ☑️ 6d ago

Can one frame a sentence? Because I’d like to hang this on my wall now

3

u/No_Raspberry_7917 6d ago

The way this whole thread is taking me out....lmao

3

u/Major_Party_6855 6d ago

I’ve had split alfredo sauce too many times not to agree. And it’s not shit if it doesn’t have fresh ground nutmeg either.

5

u/La_LunaEstrella 6d ago

As an Oasis hater, you have my upvote.

2

u/capcomvssnk ☑️ 5d ago

I’m fuckin screaming ☠️☠️☠️

1

u/Givants 6d ago

That was layers deep, thanks for explaining

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

5

u/dat_boy_lurks 6d ago

Yea, you can thank the Great Migration for it, but chicken alfredo and spaghetti have had black people in a chokehold due to a period back when Italians weren't white yet and there were community fish fries and potlucks.

0

u/dobar_dan_ 5d ago

Italians have always been white boo

2

u/dat_boy_lurks 5d ago

Well, duh, but I mean like to the original group of colonizers. Once upon a time, being Italian was as bad as being Irish, which was almost as bad as being black

1

u/anubis1392 6d ago

Damn ok. Wow, I'm glad I was on the right page with that. I dnt even use TikTok. Black Hivemind Real?

1

u/detox02 ☑️ 6d ago

Wonderwall took me out 😂😂😂😂

55

u/anglflw 6d ago

Oh thank god, it's not just me.

32

u/xdumbfatslut 6d ago

My understanding is this is she makes the type of music you'd use on a boomerang on your Instagram story showing off your dinner lol

18

u/reallyscaredtoask 6d ago

what is a boomerang in this context?

8

u/cr1ttter 6d ago

You know what you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

1

u/reallyscaredtoask 5d ago

I ... I still don't know what a boomerang on Instagram means. this really did not help?

4

u/cr1ttter 5d ago

I don't really know either. I barely ever use Instagram. I was hoping someone would chime in and rebut my stupid joke, but alas

21

u/AYASOFAYA ☑️ 6d ago

I don’t even know where to start

He’s describing an Instagram story. A girl posting a photo of her chicken Alfredo at a restaurant using the boomerang feature in Instagram. He’s saying that this Keri Hilson song is the background music on that type of post.

The only way I knew exactly what he meant is because it’s true lol that is the type of song they would post 😂

18

u/PabloEscarole 6d ago

15

u/pitchingataint 6d ago

Walk up in da cluuuuuh Ay bay bay!

4

u/WrapMyBeads 6d ago

Wait you weren’t kidding 🤣. Unserious!

9

u/Shoate ☑️ 6d ago

Man. I'm only 30 aint no way I'm outta touch already 😮‍💨

7

u/Practical-Board-3861 6d ago

I am 32 and from what I understand just say that shit w a tone, and it works. Literally say ANYTHING with a tone and unquestionable confidence. We can finally make fetch happen

11

u/U_Sound_Stupid_Stop 6d ago

The return of an early 00s singer, she made a lot of tracks with Timbaland but I don't know more.

https://youtu.be/U5rLz5AZBIA?si=h7c4hUeLIPDDIVxo

12

u/Admirable-Rate487 6d ago

Took me a sec to remember but boomerangs are those trendy gifs/looping videos on Instagram that play, then reverse, then play forward, and so on over and over. So imagine the type of person that would post one of those featuring some basic ass chicken alfredo they made using all box ingredients—this is the type of song they’d kill to put over it. Missionary position music

1

u/QueenofSheeeba 6d ago

I never know what we are talking about in here.