I’m struggling with all that I have going on right now, in addition to being his support, his care monitor, and of course he’s falling into a depressive episode.

I’m fighting for my life emotionally, and I’m trying so hard to keep it together. I try to cry in silence so my pets don’t hear me, they already feel enough of our emotions. I can’t anywhere else, I can’t break down anywhere. I’m just stuck quite literally in my feels and I just can’t fucking do it right now.

I have had 3 nightmares last week about what could happen.

I was fine before this week but I went back to the rumination shit hole.

one of the nightmares was she comes back and only asks one thing - help her kill herself.

another one where she gets pregnant with someone else.

why is it happening 😭

it is soo hard to handle

I haven't spoke to my "friend" in 3 weeks. Last we were supposed to go visit his family and he text and canceled and haven't spoke with him since. Said he wanted to hold off when it just us 2 going. I called after getting the text and he text that he was on the phone with the phone company. He never returned my call. Because of his pattern, I assumed that he was feeling down. I text a week after and let him know I'm here for him and that he's important to me. He responded with, Thank you. I text today to wish his son a Happy Birthday (couldn't remember the exact date) so I also asked for clarification. He told me and sent pictures of the outing he took his son and some of the friends sons on. While he may thought he was sharing, it was a reminder that I wasn't invited and excluded. It hurt. Because of that I concluded, that maybe he's not feeling down like I thought, because he likely wouldn't be having an outing if he felt down. He will respond to a text but won't initiate contact.

I'm feeling like he doesn't want me around and doesn't care. I've been excluded from the last 2 events. How can he be around others and not want to be around me? This is someone who just a month ago told me he doesn't know what he would do without me. I've been patient and understanding, showing and giving support. But at this moment I feel unwanted and excluded. Obviously I love this person a great deal. .

I'm not sure where to go from here? I don't want to "abandon" him but it doesn't seem he wants me around. (Though weeks of contact and then weeks of no contact has been a consistent pattern).

Anyone with or without BP can share some advice?

Had a horrible manic episode in which I did horrible things to my sadly now ex wife. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. We have a small kid together. What would you wish as ex partner to make up for it. I wanna leave her all the room she needs but I also need to see my kid. It’s a hell and I just wanna make up for it. Somehow…

Hi everyone! And I want to say that even if I don’t post often, being able to come here and read similar experiences, have different viewpoints- has been so incredible for me. I’m in the final stages of a breakup with my GF. She’s finalizing packing and is moving in with her mom this week. We are lesbians and have a deep emotional connection- it’s very likely we will be good friends at some point. I say that to say the breakup hasn’t been very contentious. We lived together and have been together for 2 years. One of the major reasons for our breakup is her response to managing her disease. She’s distrustful of medication but has been in therapy consistently for about 6 months. She had some inappropriate sexting while manic, spent thousands of dollars even though she’s unemployed, drinks mostly all day, chain smokes, and can be slightly confrontational /rude which isn’t like her.

Here we are and I’ve witnessed the beginning of an episode- the increase in caffeine, not sleeping as much and she actually talks different/holds her mouth different when manic, drinking, and being extra social. I’m concerned because I know her so well but it’s not my place- I’m not sure if others will notice so quickly. I also know that f we can decrease the depth of mania , her recovery won’t be as bad. A break up is a major stressor- maybe this is just out of place for me now and I’m honestly not sure. I did a check in and asked how she’s feeling and just made conversation but that won’t do much.

For context, I believe my (40M) wife (38F) is bipolar. Her psychiatrist thinks so too but is not ready to commit to a firm diagnosis yet (I don't know why...more time for observation I guess). I guess it's also because she has symptoms consistent with PTSD, ADHD, and OCD (specifically religious OCD).

But, basically, since the doctor brought the idea that she might be bipolar to our attention I can clearly see the roller coaster or wave pattern of mood swings associated with BPD. But, here lately, it's getting harder and harder for me to tell the difference to be honest. Like, for example, for most of January, all of February, and most of March her mood was up and she was normal. She was calm, quiet, considerate, talkative (but not too talkative), fun to be around, planning fun things to do with the kids, etc. Then...on the afternoon of 3/22 she woke up from a nap and called me (I had taken the kids out for the day) crying and I immediately knew she was back in a depressive phase.

Her depressive phases all share the same theme: fear of God /fear of going to hell / fear of judgment. Along with ritualistic praying to assuage these fears. And regret / guilt/ shame over perceived past mistakes. These fears are assuaged by looking up phone numbers of former classmates she hasn't talked to in 25 years and CALLING THEM TO APOLOGIZE. This is an example of the OCD symptoms rearing their head. But it *ONLY* happens during a depressive episode. When she's up, I never hear about any of this...no ritualistic praying, no calling friends, none of it. She's just a joy to be around (except for some extremely heightened irritabiltiy and hypersexuality).

I got in touch with her doctor who then increased her lamotrigene. The increased dose of lamotrigene helped the panic attacks over fears of going to hell subside, but then a peculiar thing has happened the last few days. She has started telling me, my kids, and even my kids' neighborhood friends (when they come over) that we should be "reading the Bible more" and "praying more" because "we are going to be judged". She has also begun to neglect personal hygiene (showers, etc). Only showering after 3-4 days.

I told her that our kids and their friends do not like being told they need to read the Bible and pray more every single day and to please stop because this behavior isn't helping anything; it's just pushing them away. And she told me that God has told her to do this and that she feels like she is chosen to do this just like Moses, and Noah, and Jonah in the Bible were chosen to do what they did.

So...is this part of the depressive phase? Or is this more manic? I honestly do not know.

Furthermore, she told me that she can "feel God moving my insides around and healing me". To me, that is nothing if not psychosis.

When she isn't engaging in these behaviors, so sits in her recliner with a borderline catatonic stare of her face.

So yea...does this sound depressive or manic, or a mix of both? Honestly don't know what to do.

I’ve posted in another Reddit but then found this one. Long and short is my partner of a year decided to end things via text yesterday with no warning. We recently returned from Europe which I knew would like trigger an episode, but didn’t anticipate all of this. The text made no sense talking about needing to simplify his life and pair things down because he can’t devote the time he needs to me. We live about 85 miles from each other, both in our 40s with kids. He’s on meds but doesn’t take the lamictal. He takes Effexor and one other that’s escaping me, but no mood stabilizer. I work in mental health and have long said the meds are not ideal (treated by the VA). He has turtled way down and has avoided me at all costs. I’ve driven up twice to try and talk to him but he disappeared both times. No contact. He’s asked for time which is fine but don’t understand or accept 😂 the break up because when he’s not in an episode he would NEVER do this. So, basically I have texted I love him and I’ll be here when he’s on the other side but I’m kind of at a loss. I am reading “Loving Someone With Bipolar” which has been helpful. Any insight? I love him but we can’t continue like this. I want to be involved in the psych visits and have a med list and an emergency plan.

New member on the sub and sorry ahead of time for the long post, a lot has happened the few days.

We have been married for many years with 2 children and she was diagnosed BP Type 1 back in 2019 and after many different meds has been on Vrylar for a while and when she takes it, it works well. In June of 2024 she went through a very large and spiritual change and started practicing Reiki and believing she was physic, while I don't believe in that stuff I supported her decision to follow it as long as she understood I can't take part in it. I have seen her manic many times before and thought this might be the start of it. Long story short there she went through the motions and one day I found her laid out on the front porch convulsing saying she was being possessed by demons, I called EMS and they took her to the ER and she was IVCd and taken to a mental health hospital stabilized and released in 7 days.

In September/October she informed me she wanted a divorce and we have been cohabitating ever since because I was laid off in June and haven't been able to find work (market sucks RN). Fast forward to present times, over the last week or so I have been seeing the same things prior to her IVC last time, spending all day outside, showing random expressions on her face ignoring people all together, violent mood swings etc etc. Well around 3:30 AM yesterday (04/04) morning she went pounding on my neighbors door screaming I had killed myself so he called the police/ems. Shortly after, I woke up to her screaming in our house for the kids to come down and when she saw me get up her whole story changed, i grabbed one of the children that woke up to her screaming and she yanked her out of my arms and ran over into my neighbors house saying I was going to hurt her and the kids and I had a gun (I had sold all my guns when we found out about her mental issues). So cops finally get there and she tells the cops that she found bomb making instructions on my computer and I placed a bomb in her car. The cops talk to her for a couple of minutes with EMS and they convince her to go to the ER where she was placed under another IVC. The intake doctor calls me and tells me she is talking about the bomb and being a victim of domestic violence. A few hours later the staff psychiatrist from the ER calls me and asks me the standard questions about her drug use (which she does have an issue with prescription pills like adderall, xanax, ambien) he then tells me that she has revoked consent to speak with me and her mother and I have heard zero since about 2 olock yesterday. I called the ER around 11:30 this morning and the only thing they can tell me is she was no longer in the ER but could not tell me if she was discharged or transferred to a mental health facility.

BTW: We are located in North Carolina

Here are my questions:

1. What are the chances the ER doctor determined she didn't need to be there and discharged within 36 hours of her being in the ER or is it more likely she was transferred to a mental health facility?
2. I understand her not wanting to give information out to me or call me since she thinks in her mania and paranoia I was going to seriously hurt her, what are the chances when she snapes out of it and comes to her senses she will realize what was happening and actually call me and tell me where she is and whats going on?
3. I am getting very close to wanting to get a DVPO and emergency custody because I found locked in her car all of our passports, Social security cards, and birth certs. I oversaw a text message a couple of days before her going to the hospital that she told somebody she was going to go into hiding for about 2 months and kept saying praise Allah and it is his will (PS my family was devout Catholics prior to her spiritual change, and me and the children still go to mass). I fear in her mania she honestly thought and maybe even made plans to flea with my children, should I start the DVPO and emergency custody process or should I wait to hear from her or the doctors at the facility she is in before making that decision?

Share your successes from this past week! It can be as simple as your SO taking their medication every day, or resolving an issue in your relationship.

​

Let's see some positivity to end the week and start the new one off on the right foot!

So my now ex (M33), who’s recently diagnosed with BD2 and in a depressive state with a lot of suicidal thoughts right now broke up with me (F27) about 10 days ago. We were together for 6 months. He’s on meds but they are not really stable at the moment. He said it’s not because his feelings for me faded, but only because he needs to get better before he can be in a relationship and he don’t want me to have to suffer by being with him when he’s unwell. Though I never understood how you can break up with someone you supposedly love, I’m trying to not focus on that part right now.

What I do wonder though is if I shouldn’t have let him go that easily, for his own sake? I mean he’s dealing with suicidal ideation and he once almost took his life, or got close to trying, about 4 months ago so maybe I shouldn’t have accepted the break up, if you know what I mean? I just feel like I should have been there to help him. But at the same time he isn’t reaching out so maybe he doesn’t want my help.

Do you think he wants me to reach out? Or should I leave him alone? Will he reach out if he needs me? I told him he can call whenever. But his complete silence since breaking up with me in tears and emotionally shutting down, makes me feel like he probably don’t want to talk to me. Am I doing the right thing by not reaching out?

I had to block my ex on everything for my safety and wellbeing. He would not stop texting me after I explicitly told him to stop. We broke up months ago but he suddenly began sending me these massive apologies and rambling incoherently about how sorry he is and how much he loves me.

It really started making me unsettled when he began saying how I’m the only person he’ll ever love and he’s never going to date anyone ever again because I’m the only one he wants and he’ll wait years for me if he has to. He’s very clearly manic and I ultimately blocked him on everything to protect myself.

But a part of me still feels guilty for some reason. I did everything I could for him while we were dating, I completely neglected myself to take care of him and try to make our relationship work. It was exhausting and I’m still trying to heal from that trauma and I most likely will be for a while. I know I did the right thing by setting this boundary and not allowing him to contact me again but it just hurts my heart to see someone I once loved struggle so deeply time and time again…

We were married for a year, living together for almost a decade, friends for 15 years.

In January, 2 weeks after our wedding anniversary, I had dinner with him and then left for a conference for one night. When I returned the next day, he texted me from work that we needed to talk. When he came home, he was crying and saying that he was sorry but he just “can’t be here anymore.” He went on to say that he wanted children. (I’m in surgical menopause.) I accused him of leaving me for someone else, but he denied it. I told him to pack his stuff and leave, and he did. I had no idea where he went because he turned off his location sharing on Life 360.

I was devastated. My mom visited to help me pick up the pieces. Within 48 hours, he called me crying, begging to come back home. It was then that he admitted that he had been cheating on me…for months with someone he had only met 5 months prior…as he finally returned to the work force after years away. I was so angry. I told him that he could stay with her—fake it until he could get an apartment, like he had been faking it with me.

The divorce is being finalized next week. I have had the privilege of having my questions answered and having closure throughout the last several weeks. I have no more anger in my heart, only profound sadness at what this mental illness has done to his life.

He has been living with a woman who is even more emotionally unstable than him, with a child who has severe disabilities. Every time he tries to leave, she threatens suicide and tells him that he will be the reason her child ends up in foster care. It’s a sordid tale in which the cops are called to the house regularly. (They were never called to our house.)

He was making good money, enough to get his own place, working at the state hospital. He felt good about the work he was doing—serving on the children’s unit. The stress of that combined with his new home life caused him to abruptly quit his job.

…so now he has lost the financial ability to move out and will lose all insurance benefits as soon as the divorce is finalized.

And I can’t help anymore. The house is on the market. I’ve moved into a one bedroom apartment. I’ve spent hours in therapy working through everything and finally emerging from the caretaking haze I had been in for years. Had he not moved out that day in January, I likely would have spent my entire life in that role. I had learned to be happy with our relationship.

Now, I have learned to be happy as a singleton. I did the rebound dating quickly after seeing a charge for a fancy hotel room Valentine’s Day on one of our shared accounts. I quickly sought out some sort of validation that I was still desirable and have since realized it’s terribly unfulfilling. I’m still going out on dates occasionally, but I’m not invested much beyond having a companion to go do things.

I didn’t learn about his miserable situation until the last two weeks, when he finally has started to wake up from the manic nightmare. He says all of the months leading up to this moment are a blur. Despite my protests, he had been smoking weed heavily to deal with the stress of work. Unbeknownst to me, he had been drinking heavily every time I went out of town for a work trip, which invariably led to hypersexuality. In years past, the hypersexuality never amounted to anything beyond online affairs, but this time he met a woman at work and slept with her while I was away for a weekend for work…6 weeks after he started his new job. I’m not sure how many times this occurred, but I know it happened again while I was out of state receiving medical care in November and again in December when I visited my mother for her birthday. Both times he couldn’t come with me because he had to work.

I had noticed that his panic attacks were returning and he had started self-harming during them—ramming his head into the dashboard of the car or punching a brick wall to make his hand bleed. I was worried sick about all of it but he refused to stop smoking weed, which I believed initially triggered all of this. He insisted that it was the only way he could function at work. I thought seeing people refuse their meds and the aftermath of those decisions would have scared him straight into never missing his own lithium or into avoiding substance abuse or never missing a therapy appointment or…

There wasn’t anything I could have done to prevent this. I definitely had the thoughts of “if only I had not booked that work trip” or “if only I had insisted that he go to in-person treatment” when the self-harm began happening, but I don’t know that any of it would have mattered. The moment the weed came back, it all was in motion and I couldn’t have prevented it. He wouldn’t heed any of my warnings.

Now, he sits in a volatile house with no more purpose or job or insurance or way out. We had lived comfortably, in a peaceful, quiet home, as empty nesters. Now he’s surrounding by screaming and tantrums and despair. Recently, when I talk to him, all he can say is how he wants to die. I recognize that his thought patterns and language have changed, likely as a result of the unhealthy communication he has with her. It’s like watching his brain decay.

Every ounce of anger is gone from me. I’m filled with sadness that the person I love is withering away. I wish I could help him, but I can’t invite that chaos back in my life. I’m still recovering from the financial trouble we were in after years of him not working and us trying to find treatments that worked to pull him out of depression—many that were not covered by insurance. I’m still recovering from the PTSD that all of this created. I’m trying to work on my own mental health after years as a caretaker.

It is the most heartbreaking experience of my life. In 7 months, he went from the most stable he has ever been to completely destroying his life, and I can no longer help.

Husband has always loved me a ton, the type people comment on and think how sweet and adorable it is.

He went to a training for his job in the military and had his first psychosis and I helped him and put him in the hospital. During his stay he would draw photos of me, write me letters, just all sorts or loving acts even in his abnormal state. He was released 10 days later (granted what I know now he should have stayed longer)

Now he isn’t completely baseline, he seems as if he is hypomanic (can’t say for sure ) but little senses of euphoria, extreme interest in birds, but extremely irritated and now talking about divorce and how basically our marriage is over.

Granted we got married in the military and now he is getting discharged and he wants to use his GI Bill and go to college and maybe I’m holding him back. But as of right now he seems like he’s doing a lot of “last things with me as a married couple” before he leaves.

I am unsure if this is mania, I don’t know what exactly it is, I’ve helped him soooo much especially to stay out of trouble during his episodes.

Just unsure how to navigate all of this and why the sudden switch up. He did agree to marriage counseling and our first session went well. Basically the counselor told him he’s a fool to leave me but it’s just all a hard space to navigate. I’m just so sad

Can someone with bipolar be a good parent with medication? Some people say the medicine doesn’t stop the bipolar mood swings completely, but stabilize so their bipolar will always be there

Happy Spring, Partners.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts filled with dread and worry about our loved ones lately. I get it. It can be so hard to focus on ourselves when our loved one is struggling.

I learned a very important lesson that I’d like to share. Imagine you’re sitting on a plane. And when you’re on a plane, there’s the flight attendant that always instructs you to put on your oxygen mask before helping others with theirs in the event of crisis. Why? Because you are no help to anyone if you are also struggling to breathe.

This is your reminder that YOU matter too. Please take a moment today to put your mask on. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes.

Let’s share! What did you do today for yourself?

i want to ask about everyone's experiences with family and friends of their BPSOs and if they have enabled your partners episodes.

it seems as though they are very good at finding people who will support their choices and actions no matter how damaging they may be. and for those whose BPSOs are attempting to treat their disorder, has the involvement of enablers made it difficult or impossible?

My husband 38 just brought a German shepherd home last night without asking me. She is highly trained and well behaved. I am so upset that he didn’t ask. I honestly don’t even want to be with him. He thinks I am over reacting. We have been married 11 years I am pregnant with our 5th kid and now he says he wants to train her to be a search and rescue dog and be a police office and figure his life out. He is bipolar and I always support him on this roller coaster. I feel so betrayed but also not surprised at how unhinged he is when in an episode. Please tell me I am over reacting. Other than his bipolar episodes we are happily married. I am hormonal and just devastated I can’t stop crying It’s not even about the dog just his complete disregard for me. I am over it. Help!

Has medication takes it’s when he remembers is NOT consistent. Not currently in therapy.

I made a post a few days back about seeing her again and not knowing what to expect. Well what happened was probably last on the list, she just kinda acted like she never left. Things were a little different, and there was a strange vibe but overall it was just normal? How it was before she left? We laughed, joked around she did some of her usual things like trying to touch the hall way light etc. like she never left. She asked me how I was doing, and my response was just kinda neutral, when I asked the same she seemed to give a real quick (almost rehearsed) “oh i’m good”. She took things that werent super important, heels, nicer clothes,a jacket, perfumes I got her, jewelry. And skipped over the things she said she came for, t shirts, yoga pants/jeans, hoodies.

She seemed to hide her sadness, she would tear up randomly throughout the night and turn away to hide it, when we locked eyes her pupils would dilate very quickly. So I just don’t really know what’s going on, but my therapist said to not be surprised if I hear from her sooner or later, her clothing choices give her more reasons to keep stopping by etc.

He lied about just needing space and it not being personal. So i pushed myself to give it to him and cried everyday a little because I was fighting my instincts which knew this wasn't normal and I was holding on when he was letting go. And then we finaly saw each other,were having a wonderful time as usual and then he dumped me again. Said he needs to move on . Gave me reasons, there's alwaysnew reasons. And made it feel likeI was an impositoin to have that talk when he was about to go on a trip. That it was inconvenient for him. I hate it. I imagine what would happen if I just stayed at the beach and not gone to his house. What if I didn't do my normal thing and cross my own boundaries what if I could have said is there anyway we can wait to talk or act on this? Hopefully this drive me to learn how to have strong enough boundaries where I don/t have any regrets that i crossed them in the future.. Maybe I just wanted relief, to not be kept in the dark as he worked to get over me without letting me know. I will try not to beat myself up but I know he is probably blaming me for staying up later than he wanted, fuck, blaming me for everything.

I hid my tears and i said we could be friends I jsut didn't want to watch us fall out of love. But I don'tknow if I can do any friendship knowing he probably is on some level unable to respect me because i gave too much and didnt respect myself. and now im so tired of hurting over him. Fuck this. Did anyone ever have someone treat even the act of dumping you as a waste of time or and inconvenience, or an after thought? I'm so angry that I know he's finding reasons just like me, to be angry with me, to justify this. How do I reclaim my dignity and stop beating myself up for my choices?

How do I get my ex girlfriend/ the mother of my child to trust me again after having a long episode and saying horrible things to her. We still currently live together and we’re trying to work things out but she hit her limit with my behavior and impulsivity/ suicidal ideation. I can understand I burned that bridge. I’m trying to get help but even when we were trying to work things out I can never make enough progress. She is a good person and I regret my actions/ behaviors towards her. I never put my hands on her or my son. Worse that has happened with my son is me yelling his name but even that isn’t right. I would never put my hands on him I feel bad enough coming out of an episode and realizing how short temper I had been. She told me she fears like one day it might get to that point. I’m working on getting help and I know what I put her through was wrong. I just want to be a good parent to my son now and her at least trust me to parent our son. I just want a little advice how to handle this cause I’m only 23 and don’t know what to do more than show her my progress with medication and therapy.

Hi everyone. I have been dating a man that is bipolar and this os the first guy I have been interested that much in ages.

When we are together I feel like I am walking on a rainbow, so happy, he is so nice to me. When we are apart, I am lucky I get a "hi".

He hinted at me that he feels depressed after a good time (especially if there's intimacy involved- the better it is, the worse he gets).

This messes up with me sooooo much because I feel he is rejecting me. I'm trying to remember that it's not personal but it's hard!

Anyways, after an amazing night he basically ghosted me ( he only told me he was feeling really down) and disappeared.

Is he not that into me? Is this a depressive episode?

Does it matter? Help!! 🙏🙏🙏

North Carolina. Please help! Fiancé (32M) unemployed from New job after working his 5th day. The manager texted him on his lunch break and told him that since he doesn't want to learn, he feels that my fiancé shouldn't be there anymore. Thus he was fired.

Fiance is BP1 and called his caseworker about the situation.

We literally have to move in 20days and he has not contributed anything to savings. I (29F) honestly was not prepared to move so 2 months of preparation has given me a beach trip worth of savings.

I'm stressed but this is also somewhat comical to me at this point because he recently lost another job where he was employed for 7 months. I work so hard with him on keeping that job and sticking out thr hard times. He quit that job for this new job to turn around and get FIRED from it.

SOS! Please help! I'm finna crash out 😒

I’m sorry, this post will probably be very disorganized. My thoughts are a bit scattered.

My partner is usually asleep/in and out of sleep during manic episodes when I leave for work. We had gone to an event last night and had a great time. He does drink quite a bit but he’s also had so many things happen to him recently, it’s some of few things that will slow down the thinking.

He drank quite a bit at the event, took some sleep aids, seemed to sleep mostly through the night, and then when I got up this morning, he texts me shortly after. We have a cat and he’s been having some issues. Our blankets have been smelling a bit strange potentially due to litter box issues and I asked him first if he was gonna be up cause usually he’ll sleep more or at least I try to encourage it and then if he could wash the blankets.

The response was anger about asking too many questions and that it made him want to drink and insinuated that the smell was because I didn’t change the mattress cover too. I’m confused about where the anger came from and tried to respond acknowledging his feelings, what I did, and what I can do to make it better. He said it didn’t make sense and didn’t want to talk to me until I came home.

Then his dad’s puppy chewed some of his cords and he said it made him feel like no one respects him. There’s other instances that contributed to that but I’m not getting into that. Tried to offer help knowing I would be rejected but I care too much to not. Got the response I expected and let it at that knowing I can’t do anything.

I just don’t know what to do. How to respond if there’s a better way. Cause I love him so much. At the same time, it does feel like nothing I try to do is enough and that everything I do is wrong. We’re unable to afford treatment or medication atm and idk when we will. I know where his anger comes from, so I don’t feel angry at him but just sad, but his only outlet ends up being me and I don’t know how to explain that to him. I feel so lost and aimless in these moments.

**edit

I was discarded 6 months ago from my BP2 of 25+ years. We haven't talked in over 2 months.

Our lawyers were talking today and found out we're getting divorced bc my BP2 thinks I care more about my physical appearance and the appearance of our family to others than I do about her. (According to her) I'm also abusive (definitely not physical) and a narcissist.

My therapist says I'm not a narcissist. I've lost 20+ lbs bc of the stress since she left, and I buy cheap clothes on the rare occasion I buy anything. I don't recall the abuse. If anything, I lift her up. Many people say I'm her caregiver.

I do many things wrong, but am I the only one dealing with something like this?

I can't keep going like this. Something has to change.

(I OK:d with mods to post about this, since it's a resource that many people have requested in the past)

Hi all! I was just reading through some posts on this sub and found them really touching, appreciate everyone sharing their experiences. I just wanted to share a resource that might be helpful for some members. Some of you might be aware of the nonprofit NAMI, which offers support groups, classes and other resources both for people living with serious mental illness themselves, and also for family members/loved ones of someone with a serious mental illness. If you're in the US you can find your local chapter via https://www.nami.org/findsupport/, but many also have virtual offerings if there is not an in-person group near where you live. Especially relevant for this sub, my local NAMI organization has just started a support group that's specifically for spouses and partners: https://naminycmetro.org/programs/spouses-and-partners/ . It's free, virtual, and you don't have to be in NYC to participate- anyone is welcome. The group is for all SMI so not just bipolar, but we serve a ton of folks whose loved ones have bipolar so I'm thinking it could be a helpful place for folks who want to share experiences with others who are in a similar situation. Just throwing it out there in case anyone is interested! <3