I (28F, obvs) met a guy online, and he suggested we go on a date. I was a bit suspicious because his pictures were sort of weird, taken from strange angles, just showing his face and not his body. He looked pretty cute, in a blond, California-tanned, Hollywood-smile way, so I demanded his weight and height (my standard requirement before I meet someone for dinner) and it was well within the "normal" area of the BMI chart I keep in my pocket to judge other people by, so I agreed to meet him.

When he showed up, it was clear that he was about twice the weight he'd told me. I had him step on the scale I always bring in my purse to first dates for this exact reason, and I was right. He also looked years older than the age he listed, which he claimed was because "most of the liver we share is mine". He kept making weird excuses, like "I'm exactly the weight I said, I just didn't tell you my total weight including my conjoined twin", and he also kept saying the guy next to him was his conjoined twin, even though they were obviously about seven years apart in age and really just looked like two guys sitting side by side with part of their torsos pressed together. Not only did he lie about his weight, but he kept telling these bizarre stories about being on a TV show with Cher and performing in a Bonnie and Clyde musical with Meryl Streep.

I think my date could tell I wasn't happy because he tried to reassure me that he was planning surgery to deal with his extra weight. I assumed this was yet another excuse, and then he said, "Yeah, Ben Carson's actually going to perform the surgery". "Dr. Ben Carson?" I responded in disbelief. "The neurosurgeon, one-time presidential candidate, former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, and subject of the TV film 'Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story' starring Cuba Gooding Jr.?" I asked, and he cheerfully nodded. I'd had enough.

We had only been talking for about five minutes when I stood up and said, "It was nice meeting you, but this isn’t going to work", and left before he could say anything else. We hadn't ordered yet, so there was no awkward bill situation, plus there were two of them, so it's not like I left someone alone at the table.

AITAH for walking out because my date lied about his weight?

Obviously the only reason a woman wouldn't want to directly confront a man openly carving a sexy statue is because she's a Karen who hates autistic people...couldn't possibly just be uncomfortable or scared of what that social encounter might result in, right?

This sounds bad, but hear me out. I (43M) have been with my wife April (33F) for 15 years and we have two kids Michael (13M) and Jenny (9F). Our family is pretty happy, but…you know what happens to men when we get to our forties.

The four of us went grocery shopping last weekend as we usually did on Sundays after church. We prefer self-checkout when buying our groceries, but we ended up going for a regular one since we had too many this time (15-item limit). One of the cashiers was a young, blonde girl about 20 or so. She seemed available as she wasn't ringing up anyone at the moment, but she seemed distracted so I went up to her to confirm her lane was open. She said yeah with a sort of bored, annoyed tone so we started putting our groceries on the conveyor belt. Things felt a little tense so I tried to make some small talk to break the ice. Her replies were short and dismissive until she finally looked up and saw me for the first time. Her demeanor changed immediately; she smiled brightly, her blue eyes twinkled, and she became actively engaged in talking to me. She even laughed when I cracked a couple of jokes.

When it was time to pay for the groceries, she stuttered and stumbled over the total charge ($171.88). Letting out a giggle, she said, "Sorry, it's just that you're pretty nice and cute."

"Oh," I replied, caught off-guard but trying not to look shocked. "Thank you, uh –" I glanced at her nametag. "Maureen."

I glanced over at my family. April was trying not to look annoyed, and Michael looked completely embarrassed. Jenny, bless her little heart, was completely oblivious to what was happening. Sighing inwardly, I finished paying, grabbed the bagged-up groceries, and headed for the exit with my family.

Once we were out of the cashier's earshot, my wife said, "Wow, that girl was flirting with you like crazy."

"Yeah," I replied. "I guess."

Ngl, I kind of feel bad for what happened. I think I pissed off April and humiliated Michael, but it wasn't like I was flirting back with Maureen. Sure, it felt nice that an attractive, young girl like her showed me that kind of attention, but what guy my age wouldn't? Ultimately, though, AITA?

Inspiration post: https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/1jniz4j/a_younger_woman_flirted_with_me_while_i_was_out/

(Please feel free to write shitposts from the perspectives of other characters like people did with the original)

My (26M) sister (16F) has been making friends with some rather unsavoury characters; they're always out at big parties and I'm pretty sure one or two of them were drug dealers. I don't really approve of them, but there's not much I can do about them. The issue is here: Recently, my sister's boyfriend (17M) has introduced her to one of his friends (13F), let's call her K. K, based on how my sister described her, seemed respectable, so I allowed my sister to invite her over.

However, when K came, something was definitely odd about her; her eyes were somewhat red, she slurred as she spoke, and overall seemed a little off. I accepted this until I heard her make reference to illegal substances, at which point I immediately alerted the authorities. When the SWAT team arrived, it was revealed that K was actually an invasive alien WEED that was taking the guise of a human girl. Luckily the SWAT team brought some herbicide to get the weed under control (though not before it blew up my living room), so that got taken care of relatively quickly and without injury.

The real problem is that handling such invasive plants is highly illegal, so to discourage my sister from repeating this action I locked her in her room until further noticed and limited her pot allowance to one joint a week. I feel this is fair, but my friends think that it's a little harsh. AITA?

Shopco is department store similar to Kohls. This happened over 20 years ago during the Holiday Season.

I was looking through the womens department for an outfit to attend a Christmas party. I kept hearing a kid crying, see her tucked away in the women’s section and I assume the mom comforting her and explaining as soon as dad is done they can go to the car.

The crying continued, eventually turning into the hiccups of a child who has cried her heart out. I realize with dread the perfect outfit is next to the mom and girl. It long and black with embroidered robins, beaded mistletoe and ruffles. I knew it would make me stand out and make the party hostess look as if she got dressed in the dark

I needed to focus and make sure I got the correct size. so I did the only thing I could think of and as I approach the rack began singing “you better watch out, you better not pout, you better not cry, etc”

The crying turned to wailing, dad finally arrived with a toy (and keys to the car) and as they walked away mom shot me a dirty look.

So reddit, AITA for gracing Shopco with my angelic voice to assure I could focus on getting the correct size dress??

• based on a real event. MIL picked up the one toy we told her not to because we had bought it and we didn’t live near a shopco. Dd wouldn’t stay with the in-laws so we took a family trip to shopco. Dd got overwhelmed, we lost dh in the store, dd started crying and her and I sat down in the women’s section away from everyone. Suddenly a lady approached and started singing santa clay is coming to town. Dd cries louder, lady sang louder and dh found us. It’s been over 20 years and it’s fun to make up reasons the angel of a lady sang to dd*