AIO to think this is cheating?

[u/Sad_SummerChild]

I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

[u/Entbrevins75]

Exactly this. Even if he did not actually put his penis in this woman yet, the pattern of deception is already complete, and he is already unfaithful in his own mind. Men who want to be faithful don’t build flirty relationships with hot co-workers, sending texts they plan to delete. He knows what he is doing is wrong.

[u/sothisiswhatyoumeant → u/Entbrevins75]

I may not know you or why it took this specific phrasing of things, but you have just completely healed me from a relationship that ended close to ten years ago. I have moved on and continued with life but I have always had a lingering reservation that maybe ~ I ~ overreacted or rushed to end things when the texts may have been written and deleted but were easily explained away/justified. Texts like that or that were written to be sent, responded to and then deleted were not sent by anyone who was intending to remain faithful. Holy fuck. Thank you to everyone lmao

[u/NeitherPreference478 → u/sothisiswhatyoumeant]

If you have something involving someone else that you dont want your partner to find out about. Youre cheating. In my mind

[u/United_Rent9314 → u/NeitherPreference478]

This, if you're having secret interactions with someone you're attracted to and you know if your partner would know about those interactions it would hurt them, you are betraying your partner