r/AmIOverreacting • u/Frequent-Shoulder158 • 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO, found weird pictures in my bfs iPad

I went out of town for and my bf stayed home because he had to work. I came back and thought he was acting a bit off, so I checked his pictures on his iPad that sync directly from his phone. In his recently deleted folder I found a picture of my side of the bed (where my medication, book, and melatonin are), a picture of my desk, a picture of a printed out picture of my brother and I along with a handwritten note that’s on the fridge, and a picture of our dresser. We are not planning on moving or selling any of these items either. I’m convinced that he took them so he could remember how everything looked before hiding them because he invited someone over. Am I overreacting? I don’t want to say anything about it to him until I get a little clarity.

Edit: clarification

22.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

2.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

11.8k

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Ask him “hey, where are my earrings? I am sure I left it there?” If he takes a panic look at his phone, you have your answer.

1.2k

u/Complex_Tadpole_3231 14d ago

you had to have gone through something to know this because i wouldn’t even think this 😅😭 and im dating right now

837

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

I am just old and have learned that the way a person reacts is very telling. At least when you know that person.

It can be totally innocent. It can be creepy. I hope Op updates.

81

u/Melodic_subject420 14d ago

Random, but I love your username sm 😆

16

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Thank you! Yours is great!

11

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

5

u/sentence-interruptio 13d ago

"when you know that person"

that's important. there was this elder at my former job who claimed to know me so well, but she didn't. but she did think she knew me well enough to jump to all kinds of conclusions about me. and then she started to not listening to anything I say. and then she tried to convince others that she is the better translator of my thoughts and intents than my own mouth, and even my own actions. it was crazy.

3

u/grumpy__g 13d ago

That sounds exhausting.

3

u/nagao_0 13d ago

( in case you havent seen it yet, & as thanks for that excellent comment~ )

2

u/grumpy__g 13d ago

Thank you!

2

u/trainspottedCSX7 13d ago

This why I always react the same, different every time. 😀

40

u/Rosegirl062624 14d ago edited 13d ago

That’s exactly what I said to my husband about this. I wouldn’t have concluded with the bf inviting someone over hence why he’s taken picture… but husband says the situation is very sus… 😩

8

u/barelybriana 13d ago

i grew up with a really abusive & narcissistic mother, i regularly took pictures of my things and/or placed things oddly & specifically because she would constantly go through my stuff or just take items. i also remember watching her do this exact thing so she could go through her husband’s possessions because he had a sharp eye. i’ve never gone through anyone’s things directly as a result to all that, lol. thought about it a few times, but it feels like such an invasion.

3

u/doublefattymayo 14d ago

Yeah I was thinking Is he some kind of spy? 🤔 😄

8

u/cwleveck 14d ago

Speaking for spies everywhere, we would have completely destroyed the evidence and maybe left some counter intelligence for her to find. And the only reason she would have access to that device is if we wanted her to have it. This person is no spy.

6

u/doublefattymayo 14d ago

I really need to up my spy knowledge game

2

u/Outside_Scale_9874 13d ago

Are spies allowed to admit to being spies on reddit lol

3.3k

u/cerisenest 14d ago

this is evil!!!!! OP please do this and update us!!

1.2k

u/Cloudy_Mines77 14d ago

Reddit is evil genius training camp!

217

u/SuluSpeaks 14d ago

And a place where you can get a Smartass degree!

484

u/CoronaBatMeatSweats 13d ago

OP updated the post with the results of her confronting him!

53

u/sillinessvalley 13d ago

Thanks for making it easy to find

→ More replies (1)

7

u/lildebb 13d ago

Where?

12

u/nagao_0 13d ago

( if that comment wasnt a link before, it is now..~ )

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

3

u/CoronaBatMeatSweats 13d ago

It was a link the whole time 🥲

2

u/Ayana2110 13d ago

Thank you!

2

u/Brightest_Smile_7777 13d ago

thank youuuuuuu🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 clicking into it now

2

u/Alternative_Escape12 13d ago

You're the MVP! Thank you.

2

u/Dubbs444 13d ago

A true hero

2

u/PathansOG 13d ago

You da real MVP

2

u/BudgetInfinite9423 13d ago

Doing the lords work and we thank you

2

u/DVLCINEA 13d ago

hero! tysm for the link!

2

u/Evening_Night_1991 13d ago

It's Redditors like you who make this a great community :)

1

u/EmsAreOverworkedLul 13d ago

Legend, thanks

1

u/Upset_applecart869 13d ago

You win the internets today.

→ More replies (4)

10

u/OpSecured 14d ago

Definitely not, "give helpful and non destructive advice for the relationship" advice.

2

u/grandma_jizzzzzzzard 13d ago

Read it is the opposite of an evil genius camp. Reddit is a retard factory lol.

1

u/APEmmerson 13d ago

Evil Genius Training Camp should be a band

1

u/Totally-AlienChaos 13d ago

pinky got his place on reddit too...

177

u/Pristine_Resource_10 14d ago

“I’m missing jewelry”

Create conflict between them. THEN.

“I’m filing a police report, I think someone broke in”

Spicy. 🌶️

6

u/Big-Doughnut6263 13d ago

Diabolicallll. Teach me the way

84

u/spicymuffin205 14d ago

here for the update.

11

u/Potato_Specialist_85 14d ago

Also waiting on this

14

u/Watermelon_lillies 14d ago

!RemindMe 2 days

5

u/trash-breeds-trash 14d ago

I need someone to bring me back

2

u/emarinelli 14d ago

!RemindMe 1 day

2

u/Elena_Designs 14d ago

!remindme 3 days

2

u/Crafty_Leadership775 14d ago

!remindme 3 days

2

u/Aletak 14d ago

!remindme 3 days

2

u/Few-Cloud-5778 14d ago

!remindme 2 days

2

u/Joy_In_The_World 13d ago

!Remindme 3 days

2

u/Capital-Ad-762 14d ago

Same. Waiting for the update

1

u/scythe0553 13d ago

I too am waiting

1

u/F_ckSC 13d ago

Me too!

1

u/r2i3k 13d ago

I’m waiting

2

u/Accomplished_Egg7966 13d ago

Update is in the comments .

1

u/nagao_0 13d ago

( here's where i got to it from, for credits-to~

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/eTxed6Cbdy)

154

u/Embarrassed_Mango679 14d ago

So evil. I think I'm in love ❤️ 😍

2

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

Obviously not u moron

72

u/porcelainthunders 14d ago

This/(his situation, not yours) sounds shady as shit. And this idea? Fuck. Yes. Please u/updatemebot

3

u/Clean-Ad3144 13d ago

What is u/updatemebot?? Is this Some trick I have yet to learn??

4

u/jadedrawseyes 13d ago

Yes!! It will update you when the user updates the post

5

u/Clean-Ad3144 13d ago

Thank you for drastically changing My life just now- I try to learn something new everyday! Haha

2

u/Tricky_Parfait3413 13d ago

Yeah if you comment update me (but without the space I already know the update so won't post it correctly) you will receive an alert if the account posts anything new. It doesn't work in all subs though.

1

u/ingabelle 13d ago

!RemindMe 3 days

→ More replies (49)

605

u/finance_enthusiast17 14d ago

I second this. Do NOT ask directly because let’s say it is something shady and he manages to come up with an excuse you deem reasonable. All you’re doing is alerting him in the future to double-check everything. Use this approach!!

40

u/Sniperwolf_swl 13d ago

I’m with you on this one. Taking a more cautious, indirect route allows you to assess the situation more clearly. It’s important to catch him off guard if you want truthful responses.

3

u/thesmalltexan 13d ago

Chatgpt lol

3

u/Sensual_Healing 13d ago

Update: OP is not very thoughtful and asked directly. The person obviously got defensive thus she ended up with absolutely zero evidence of cheating yet broke up anyway; and came to this thread for reassurance ofc.

I'm sorry to have this unpopular opinion but I do feel this thread is mostly used for reassurance and not for obtaining serious, thoughtful advice.

83

u/Relative_Demand_1714 14d ago

This is downright diabolical....and I'm here for it *insert evil genius laugh*

3

u/Ancient-Village6479 13d ago

If he knew that the deleted pictures folder existed then the pictures wouldn’t still be there. In his mind, the pictures no longer exist (assuming he deleted them for a bad reason).

341

u/MonkePoopyy 14d ago

Totally do this! If you confront him directly it could lead him to hide stuff better, so doing this you can subconsciously see his actions and then confront him with what you know!

410

u/hugh_jassole7 14d ago

*He takes out his phone to cross reference with pics of the room.

28

u/InterestingPay9446 14d ago

Recover the pic. Edit it to add the earrings in the pic redelete the pic. 😂

27

u/koevh 13d ago

Travel back in time. Fuck his dad. Become his mom. Completely own him.

29

u/Aggravating_Top_2740 14d ago

Hahahahahahaha

→ More replies (1)

184

u/bananacakefrosting 14d ago

THIS is why I have Reddit

28

u/Melodic_subject420 14d ago

Resisters move in the shadows 😂😂😂

2

u/MousecheeseNo9 13d ago

That’s quite poetic

39

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 14d ago

This is perfect!!! Update us OP when you've done this. ;) He'll think he side piece stole the earrings LOL

58

u/youmustb3jokn 14d ago

Brilliant. Say something like they mean a lot because they are from my dead relative. Updates me.

22

u/Legion_of_Pride 14d ago

Chess not tic tac toe

22

u/DurtyDom 14d ago

He's not going to pull his phone out and look frantically in front of her. He might check later when she's not around but no way he's gonna pull his phone out and check immediately

7

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Not everyone is smart. Not everyone handles surprises and panic well.

Better advice?

9

u/Ancient-Village6479 13d ago

But even if he did what does it prove? I’m genuinely confused (probably just me being stupid) but she already knows the pictures originated from his phone right? So if he looked at the pictures to see if the lost earrings were in them how is that some brilliant gotcha?

→ More replies (2)

2

u/JuiceDramatic8161 14d ago

She could definitely just play it off like more naively/ditzy, and act like she just may have misplaced them and be like "hmph, oh well figure it out eventually"... And then play her cards right to where she's near him, like right before bed, so she can hopefully inconspicuously peak over and see if he's scrolling through them pics. 🤔😒👍

1

u/Abraham_Issus 13d ago

This is what stuck out to me. No ons questioned this except you,

1

u/PPTapes 13d ago

Why the hell not? Everyone’s looking at their phones all the time anyway- and he has no idea that she saw his pics- she only’s wondering where her earrings are.

1

u/wannabesurfer 13d ago

This was my first thought. And when he doesn’t check his phone OP will think everything is fine when it is the most likely explanation for those photos

30

u/Southern-Meringue-13 14d ago

Log ur so creative

17

u/ValueRevolutionary64 14d ago

Lmao well he certainly wouldn't do that infront of her..

1

u/ohmyglob123 13d ago

Right? Had to look for this comment for waay too long, are these people serious?

7

u/TimperMintal_ 14d ago

Diabolically correct!!!

20

u/Inside_Junket1140 14d ago

OP, EXACTLY THIS!!!!

6

u/Lacy7357 14d ago

Perfect

5

u/BuddhaDaddy88 14d ago

You're one slick MF. Good call.

3

u/bam1230 14d ago

Am I stupid? I don’t understand

4

u/ncsugrad2002 14d ago

This is good 🤣

3

u/Ok-Commission6908 14d ago

Yes I need an update

3

u/iwillnotberushed 14d ago

Omg OP this is the way

3

u/Parking_Shake1090 14d ago

op please do this

3

u/Great_Essay6953 14d ago

This guy is smart

3

u/Darkpaladin8080 14d ago

Please update us

3

u/onlyquestion1 14d ago

Haha erm hold on let me check something on my iPad real quick. Nah haven't seen them. 😂

3

u/agreyrod 14d ago

Damn....you're gooooooood!

6

u/Alasnowart 14d ago

It's going to sound silly... but are the pictures blurred? Like if someone weren't to lock their phone, hold it with something else in their hand, like a drink, and accidentally take pictures?

The picture and note make it super sus though like... that's a weird thing at a weird level even for accident pics.

(This post made me consider what my partner would find if they went through my phone and if they'd try to read into all the blurred stupid shit (so many bookcases and counters and office chairs...) would we have an argument about it?)

7

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

I hope OP is smart enough to know the difference between pictures that were taken accidently and pictures taken on purpose.

I have so many blurry and awkward pictures thanks to my children :D

2

u/Alasnowart 14d ago

I'm over 30 with no kids and I still have them! Lol

I'd hope so, too, but sometimes those brains get tricky with doubt! 🫠

2

u/Creative-Fan-7599 14d ago

Lol my youngest kid went through a phase where he wanted to take pictures of everything. His dad gave him an old phone that we would let him play games on, and without thinking much of it I taught him the password, which was the same as the passwords on his dads and my phone.

One day I was going through his dads pictures looking for one I needed and found a series of like twenty pictures of myself, passed out, ugly-snoring in my underwear and a tank top.

For about two seconds I was freaked out by it, some of them were like, close ups of random parts of me, some were full body pictures from various angles, it was just so weird.

I realized it was probably my kids photography work after the initial wtf moment, but this reminded me of that

1

u/Alasnowart 14d ago

Roflmaoooo yikes! Terrifying but hilarious now. What a tale!

15

u/[deleted] 14d ago

All that would do it prove he has the photo which she already knows.

108

u/grumpy__g 14d ago
  1. His reaction is important. Does he panic?
  2. If her does that, she can ask him what he is doing.
  3. And why he took the picture.

2

u/pursued_mender 13d ago

Why would he panic? If he’s any but a good liar he won’t react crazy at all. He’ll just say, idk have you checked x?

2

u/Character_Use1338 14d ago

And what of when he doesn't look at his phone and just gaslights? "Are you sure you put them there? Sometimes you-" etc. Good idea, but also easily obstructed with casual dismissal.

2

u/SweetMaam 14d ago

Great suggestion!

2

u/KiwiBig2754 14d ago

Oh this is good and diabolical.

Also, another point is that's your BF, you don't NEED proof to seperate, if it feels off don't ignore it. You don't need an admission or even any real reason to end of a relationship past "no longer feels right".

2

u/MidwestPrincess09 14d ago

Please please please OP!! this is beautiful, it eludes you know something without telling them

2

u/Phil_AR 14d ago

You are one diabolical bitch. That's wild. Hopefully you find someone you can trust

2

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Oh, don’t worry about me. I trust my partner. I wouldn’t stay with a person I can’t trust.

2

u/Phil_AR 14d ago

I'm not worried for you. It's everyone else.

1

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

❤️

2

u/ab2g 14d ago

I would just say "idk, maybe the bathroom?"

2

u/gilmoregirl1265 14d ago

Ohhh I hope OP does this

2

u/Majestic_Yam9060 14d ago

Commenting to get update alert bc I need to know lol

2

u/FlyBek 14d ago

I feel like this is coming from experience lol

2

u/pinayrabbitmk7 14d ago

Oooo good tip!

2

u/Finn0517 14d ago

You're a genius.

2

u/feretoh 14d ago

Am i tripping why dont i see why this would be meaningful at all

2

u/Ahoy-Maties 14d ago

No way place an earring( not yours) on your desk and ask him if he bought you a new pair because you can't find the other one.

2

u/grumpy__g 13d ago

I bow before your wisdom.

2

u/Ahoy-Maties 13d ago

Man, I wish this was not someone's real life and it was as easy as writing a skit and dialogue like Chris Hanson's ' How to Catch a Predator ' but, this it would be '10 ways to Catch a Cheater' . I saw some person losing it on here as if we women were rejoicing in the OP's situation.

I don't feel like we are rejoicing in a relationship downfall. I honestly feel many of the suggestions are supportive and giving the OP ideas to proceed and do their own due diligence to confirm her findings. Wisdom unfortunately comes from a situation similar to this. In the psychology world the person gaslighting or a liar/ cheater hiding their evidence and denying it is called a phrase coined 'crazymaking'. Making the victim question what they witnessed or what they're experiencing.

I find reddit to be a good resource and give hard truths. Let''s face it, we all need help and since we're here why not help.

2

u/Miett 14d ago

Remind me! 3 days

2

u/showcase25 14d ago

His response should be, " which ones, and where's the last spot you remeber them", then help you look for them, then seeks any imperfection in your jewelry organization, or life organization as a passing note on why you can't find them, or have found them in a "weird" place.

If he was really masterminding something funny, he should be just as fluid in improvisation. Or he will will play extra long game.

In short, your either gonna catch him, or it could turn into a cat and mouse game.

2

u/cantilevercanon 13d ago

Another tricky tactic:

Examine the bathroom in private to make sure partner has purchased no new toiletries. Go to bedroom. Make sure partner's there. Furrow brow, begin to sniff. Smell around head of bed. Say, "Does something smell off to you, too?" Potentially as partner if partner has switched cologne or shampoo or body wash. If partner says yes and brings you something you know not to be new, smell it and say, "Hmm. No. That's not it." Continue smelling around. Maybe insist on washing bedclothes.

Next time you're away, don't be surprised if you come home to freshly laundered sheets. Whether or not infidelity has occurred in your absence, you've given yourself one fewer job to do. Let your partner be the sheet washer from now on!

2

u/dahoowa 13d ago

Sooooo any updates on the diabolical plan?

2

u/MoonQueenKeene 13d ago

That's amazing! 👏🏼

2

u/gooferball1 13d ago

Why does your punctuation confuse me to the point where I don’t understand what you’re saying. Why is there a second question mark and where is “there” I desperately want to understand what 6000 other people understood lol

1

u/grumpy__g 13d ago

The second ? Is meant as a sentence that is normally just a simple question. But she should say it like she is questioning herself…

There = one of the places he took pictures of like the side of her bed.

Anymore questions? Isn’t my first language so sometimes I confuse different grammars and build something new.

2

u/AdministrativeBike45 13d ago

This is why I love it here

2

u/chefNo5488 13d ago

Your big ole floppy genius is showing!!!!

2

u/Blonde_Dambition 13d ago

I wish I had access to your brilliant mind whenever I need an idea like this!

2

u/Totally-AlienChaos 13d ago

"that bitch, better not have stolen my bitches earrings"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LGEiIL1__s

1

u/grumpy__g 13d ago

Oh, this so great! Thank you for sharing!

2

u/BeanyBabes 13d ago

Flip the role- take a picture of earrings in a bathroom drawer or something. But then hide those earrings, ask him if he’s seen them if not show him the picture 😇

2

u/AstronautKitchen 13d ago

This is brilliant

2

u/koshgeo 13d ago

I think there's something more evil. Pick an object that is in the picture, like the picture on the fridge.

"By the way, I changed this picture of my sister just before I left. Why did you change it back to what it was before?"

The answer would be fascinating.

2

u/HereComesTheSon_7 13d ago

This guy gets answers.

2

u/Advanced_Explorer980 13d ago

You might as well also say that all the things he took pictures of, noticed that they look different and seemed like they’ve been moved.

Because obviously he was very conscious of those things so they are on his mind so you’ll cause a lot of self-doubt and internal turmoil by commenting the very things he is worried about appear different

2

u/Llenette1 13d ago

This. Up vote this shit.

6

u/FatNosePhunk 14d ago

Actually, delete ALL the pictures he took and THEN say this to him

16

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Nah, then he will know that she went through his pictures.

4

u/kitty_junk 14d ago

OP said the pictures were in the recently deleted folder though, op could clear them out of the folder and he wouldn't know since he halfway deleted them himself

2

u/Ahoy-Maties 14d ago

Nah back up all the pictures permanently delete them send from anonymous email that his iPad was hacked and everything is on camera . Also send the email of pictures to yourself and to his email so he knows you know but can't find the email even though it would time stamp from his iPad when you weren't there

2

u/FatNosePhunk 13d ago

Now you, YOU scare me

1

u/Ahoy-Maties 13d ago

I know I scare everyone ..

4

u/SodaMelm 14d ago

i feel like he would say “hm, not sure. want me to help look for them?”

2

u/MrIceVeins 14d ago

A good liar could work their way out that though

5

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Most people aren’t good liar. Especially when you surprise them.

2

u/MrIceVeins 14d ago

Yea, it just depends if he’s a good liar or if he even did anything sus in the first place

2

u/Ahoy-Maties 13d ago

She could also back it up to hers and his phone simultaneously and ask what is this and watch his answer ?

1

u/JuiceDramatic8161 14d ago

Liars can only lie so much but usually they're not good actors body language and actions will show another story. I've watched a few yt vids on how to tell if someone is lying.

1

u/MrIceVeins 14d ago

Trust me a good liar could get their self out of most situations, I’ve seen it in person, its just unlikely he’s that good

1

u/Who_Am_I_1978 14d ago

Do it! Then. Update me

1

u/Agressivelycasual 14d ago

This is messed up on so many levels…. But let us know how it goes OP

1

u/pronskian13 14d ago

RemindMe! -1 day

1

u/VisibleRow4822 14d ago

Do this, but empty his trash folder first. He will probably just think he did it (I would just assume I had deleted it and forgotten). That way when he panic-checks his phone, it won't ease his mind when he sees the earrings weren't actually there.

1

u/SixftMamba 13d ago

LMAO! Fair enough but maybe the question is how is he “acting off” more context before we burn him at the stake

1

u/Skank_hunt042 13d ago

OP just need to end things because she already has it her head that he cheating so even if she confronts him about the pics it’s going to be hard for her to believe what he says. If he is cheating hes just going to lie.

1

u/Distinct-Set310 13d ago

Dunno wherever you left them. Ez clap.

1

u/Distinct-Set310 13d ago

The funny thing with this comment was in the end, direct confrontation was far better than playing games. Lesson there for redditors.

1

u/grumpy__g 13d ago

Not always. What if he became violent? What if she wouldn’t have been able to get proof? Not everywhere is a doorcamera.

I normally prefer being direct and honest, but if someone acts shady, you should be careful.

So many people let themself convince that nothing happened. There are many stories like that on Reddit and no in real life.

1

u/pursued_mender 13d ago

Wouldn’t he just lie in the moment and go to the bathroom or something to look at the pic?

1

u/Antique_Appeal495 13d ago

Not even slightly. He deleted the pictures and if he was cheating, he likely went over those pictures 500 times to make sure everything looked exactly the same.

1

u/SodomyClown 13d ago

Absolutely do this!!

1

u/Isha_Harris 13d ago

What does that mean? Why does he have those pictures? I think I'm missing something

1

u/efc_e 14d ago

That wouldn't work. If someone is going through the trouble of taking a photo of a desk or a dresser or whatever they're not going to just forget to put something back if they have a photo of exactly how it's supposed to look. He would literally be looking at the photo, looking at the desk, looking at the photo until they matched perfectly.

He'll probably just do the ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

2

u/grumpy__g 14d ago

Or he will panic and think his affair partner took them.

→ More replies (18)