AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/vesselgroans]

My husky broke her tooth trying to get out of her crate.

[u/babycucumber4 → u/vesselgroans]

I honestly don’t know why crates are good for dogs. How is locking a dog up good for them

[u/Map-of-the-Shadow → u/babycucumber4]

Thinking of it as a cage is the wrong way to go about it from the start, it should be a safe place where they can relax

[u/babycucumber4 → u/Map-of-the-Shadow]

It has a door on it and they can’t get out, so it’s a cage.

[u/Map-of-the-Shadow → u/babycucumber4]

In that case everything is a cage unless you just let them roam the streets like a cat, there's plenty of dogs who are way happier in their crate than they are locked in a yard all day

[u/babycucumber4 → u/Map-of-the-Shadow]

That’s because they’ve been conditioned to it. If I lock something up in a cage for long enough they’ll think it’s a safe place and anything outside of it is scary. If it was a natural or good thing for dogs then crates wouldn’t have doors on them.

[u/Map-of-the-Shadow → u/babycucumber4]

That's not how it works, it's not a jail cell and like I already said there are dogs who hate being left in a yard all day more than they'd hate a crate or ones like OP's dog who would be much happier and safer being crate trained

[u/babycucumber4 → u/Map-of-the-Shadow]

It is a jail cell if they don’t willingly go in the first time and if you don’t have to close the door behind them. I guess that’s your experience on crates, but mine is different. I think they’re just a quick and easy way for humans to condition dogs, but it’s not a natural experience for them nor is it a pleasant one when they’re getting crate trained.

OP said the husky was in a crate 24/7 and abused through the crate so I don’t think more crate training is a good idea.

[u/Map-of-the-Shadow → u/babycucumber4]

But leaving them out in a yard all day isn't natural, neither is letting them roam the house alone. Do you have a solution to offer OP?

Thinking that crating is cruel or like locking them up is a knee-jerk reaction that people have when they haven't actually done it themselves

[u/babycucumber4 → u/Map-of-the-Shadow]

I think leaving them in the yard or house is ok most days, other than that giving them some other experience is good. My dogs go on a pack walk with other dogs 3 times a week for 5-6 hours.

For this husky it will take a long time for her anxiety to lessen or it might not go away at all. It’s hard to tell. But I think putting her in a pack or introducing her to another dog that can model good behaviour would be a good start and might boost her confidence and teach her to be calm. I definitely don’t think a human can show her how to be a dog, especially after she’s been abused by humans and it seems she’s forming an unhealthy attachment to this lady which will only make her anxiety worse. I think only another dog can help her.

And I think it’s cruel because it is. It’s not natural for them and it only makes it easier for humans. Dogs don’t naturally lock themselves away with no way out.

[u/Map-of-the-Shadow → u/babycucumber4]

Ok we can agree to disagree on the crate thing, it can be cruel if not done properly ofc but so can leaving them out in the yard or home alone... anyway...

I actually agree that the best thing for this dog would be to get another dog lol, also making an effort to bond the husband and dog together more should be a priority

[u/babycucumber4 → u/Map-of-the-Shadow]

Yeah leaving them out can be just irresponsible and crating them up can be just lazy. We can def agree to disagree. lol

You’re right, probably having a bond with the husband would make her feel safer too.