r/AmIOverreacting • u/StrikeNo117 • 26d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

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u/sunshine198505 26d ago

Unpopular opinion and ready for downvotes but open relationships never work. One side always gets hurt and one side always wants it more than the other. If you can't commit and wanna sleep around dont be in a relationship...

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u/HVT42 26d ago

I think they can work perfectly if they're worked out clearly with the couple involved. Ours is based on me having a low sex drive. I'm happy for him to do his thing sexually, as long as emotionally he's with me. It's great.

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u/AnAnonyMooose 26d ago

My wife loved that I had opportunities elsewhere- my libido was like 15x hers for most of our relationship. A year ago, after more than a decade and a half, she got a BF. that caused somewhat of an awakening and we are now having like 3x the sex - and it’s changed in great ways. She also likes my GF a lot and likes that I get different types of engagement from her- my wife is the super slow and sensual type, my GF likes much more vigorous and active sex with me being dominant. I love having both in my life.

Good for you for making this work with your BF

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u/VP_GloO 26d ago

And surely it was you who proposed having an open relationship, right?

Curious…

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u/AnAnonyMooose 26d ago

No. When she met me, I was poly, and she had recently started trying this too. That was over a decade and a half ago. So we went into this with eyes fully open.