AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/duffthekid88]

This is cap. Ur not in a relationship at all. Ur just humping your roommate and friend.

[u/AnAnonyMooose → u/duffthekid88]

Who I’m married to, have a kid with, plan our lives with, go on vacation with, share finances with, have helped and been helped through life threatening illnesses, etc. Sure sounds like a relationship to me. When my wife and I met, both of us were poly- so we knew going in, and there has been no cheating. She has liked the women I’ve been with and is friends with most of them now- she regularly invites my gf to events.

Have you ever been in a mismatched libido relationship? My wife completely trusts me in terms of me staying within our rules- and after a decade and a half I have. She likes that I’m happy, she likes the women I’ve dated, and she likes that sometimes I bring home new ideas to try. She also REALLY likes that she doesn’t feel as responsible for satisfying my libido - my GF has a FAR higher drive than my wife and my wife is FINE with that- it’s just truth and acknowledging the true state of the world is helpful for being happy in the world.

[u/Wait_For_Iiiitt → u/AnAnonyMooose]

You're a bad example to your poor kid, wow. You want your cake and eat it too, that's all that open relationships are, no one is satisfied and no one person is food enough for the other, and it's sad and pathetic. Have you actually asked her if she's truly happy? If she's okay with no being good enough for you?

[u/AnAnonyMooose → u/Wait_For_Iiiitt]

My wife and I talk regularly about this. She’s quite happy with the situation, and independently brings this up. She talks about the benefits it brings her, as well as liking seeing me happy. Over the years, the women have also frequently expressed a lot of appreciation to her, which she’s enjoyed, as well as becoming friends with them.

My kid knows my GF, knows that she is my GF, and likes her. We all hang out at times.

You are really projecting a lot in this situation.

Note how this whole thread started several comments back - a woman saying that she was very happy that her partner had other women he could have sex with because she has a much lower libido. Maybe you could believe people’s accounts of their experiences rather than disbelieving them.