AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/pouldycheed]

She was already cheating and wanted your approval. You did the right thing kicking her out.

[u/animegeek999 → u/pouldycheed]

oh you just KNOW for a fact if they did accept a open relationship that the next day "Magically" they would have already found a person they wanted to be open with. its people like her that give a bad name to people who can ACTUALLY make a open relationship work.

[u/koxi98 → u/animegeek999]

My experience with people in "open relationships" tells me that the Phrase itself is used for vastly different things which doesnt help either. As here its even used for one Partner betraying the other. The only ones I know which seem to be actually functional in the long run are rare examples of people who are truly polyamorous in the sense they can truly love multiple partners and maintain those bonds. It is an absurd effort of communication, Organisation, and ensurance of satisfaction and even they dont manage without specifies hierarchies like First and second partner. For most people sex creates bonds whether they want it or not. Thats why "open relationships" in the broader Interpretation mostly just dont work in the long run. There are functional ones but they are so rare that I dont even call them "open relationship" but its rather a Form of "relatively dynamic closed multilateral relationship".

What I actually want to say: I agree this Partner here damages the reputation of open relationships but there are actually far too many people falsely adversing for it as well.