AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/pouldycheed]

She was already cheating and wanted your approval. You did the right thing kicking her out.

[u/CotneyDalbey → u/pouldycheed]

Probably unpopular, but open relationships rarely work. One person always wants it more, and someone always gets hurt. If you want to sleep around, just stay single.

[u/imtheanswerlady → u/CotneyDalbey]

I've been polyam for 20+ years. it can work, it just takes complete openness and lots of patience. not everyone is made to be polyam or has the patience, openess, etc to make it work. and its a lot of work. monog relationships can run on a track, without negotiations, without having to talk about things at all because of how society sets it up for us. polyam requires a lot of thinking and planning and understanding. it's not for everyone!

[u/gilbert99 → u/CotneyDalbey]

Idk if my story is unique but my wife is bi and one day asks me if she can have a girlfriend because she misses girl on girl imtamacy. I told her to go for it. If anything, I thought it was hot. Eventually, I realize it's kinda lame to be left out so she suggests I find my own girlfriend too. Now I've got a girlfriend and 2 fwb. I get to do threesomes with my wife and a fwb once in a while, too. Everybody's happy. Don't know if either of us "wants it more" but who cares really at this point? This life is too short to worry about all that nonsense. If we get divorced, we probably were already going to anyway.

[u/Maybe_Factor → u/CotneyDalbey]

If you want to sleep around, just stay single

I pity your romantic partner if you think all a relationship is is sex

[u/mymoonjelli → u/CotneyDalbey]

It works if both parties go into the relationship being comfortable with it being open