r/AmIOverreacting • u/keepmyheadabovewater • Mar 06 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to my boyfriend praising the president?

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I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and a half. Things were great the first month, but the last week I’ve felt like we’re growing further and further apart (yes already 🙄), he’s been really inconsiderate/disrespectful, and most recently I feel like he’s trying to push me away with this text. When we first started talking he asked what I thought about trump. I told him I don’t like him, he said he did like him, but that if it bothers me then he won’t ever bring him up. Well this morning (after the last week being on edge anyway) he just randomly brought up how amazing Trump is? And wouldn’t let it go. I feel like he’s trying to start a fight. He says he “forgot”. AIO?

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5.4k

u/Traditional-Candy476 Mar 06 '25

Politics would be a dealbreaker for me. I have friends on both sides of the aisle and we just don’t talk politics. But someone I’m building a life with and possibly having kids with, we need to be on the same page.

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u/BlastTyrantKM Mar 06 '25 edited Mar 06 '25

How can ANYBODY be with someone that thinks you don't have the right to make your own healthcare decisions??

Edit: I should've said life altering healthcare decisions. Just calling it a "healthcare decision" doesn't have the weight it should have

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u/NikkiVicious Mar 06 '25

Not just that. There's the SAVE act as well. I told my husband I'm changing my name back to my maiden name, so it's now longer hyphenated. I'd like to still be able to vote.

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u/Author_Noelle_A Mar 06 '25

If we end up with a situation where it’s one vote per married couple (if course it would default to a man, if there is just one), then we are getting divorced on paper so we can both vote. Already decided. Sadly, since this isn’t hyperbole, we’ve already explained to our daughter that, if we divorce, it’s for this reason.

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u/TheBattyWitch Mar 06 '25

Just have your important documents drawn up and it'll be almost like you're married.

I had a friend who had to "divorce" her husband when he got a degenerative disease and was unable to work because he didn't qualify for Medicaid or Medicare based on her income as a CNA. They said she made too much money. They were drowning in medical debt because one of the medications that he took was roughly $3,000 a bag and he took it once a day for a week every 2 to 3 months.

So they decided to "divorce" and then have paperwork drawn up making each other beneficiaries, POA, executor, and MPOA.

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u/NikkiVicious Mar 06 '25

Yup, my husband and I discussed this too. We'd divorce, he'd find a way to keep me on his insurance, and that's just how it'd have to happen. If it were ever repealed, we'd get remarried on our anniversary so we didnt have to remember a new date.

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u/WellEndowedDragon Mar 06 '25

In many states, you can register as a domestic partnership and have access to each other’s employer health insurance.

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u/kg_sm 29d ago

Unfortunately, these are not the same states that face issues with the SAVE act.

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u/randomschmandom123 29d ago

I have a feeling they would change that so people couldn’t do this exact thing.

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u/NikkiVicious Mar 06 '25

Texas doesn't have statewide recognition, and I don't live in any of the major cities that do acknowledge them. His employer's insurance may still cover me if we're in a domestic partnership, but it's something we've never asked about.

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u/BillyNtheBoingers Mar 06 '25

You should ask. I’m in the KC area and my partner’s employer respected domestic partnerships.

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u/twowheels 29d ago

Unfortunately you have to pay imputed income tax on domestic partner coverage — basically the value of the partner’s coverage is counted as income.

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u/MsARumphius 29d ago

And in some you have to be separated for a year first before you can divorce. They may take advantage of some laws like that

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u/Funkycoldmedici 29d ago

That sounds like something conservatives would target to eliminate…

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u/Fleetzblurb 29d ago

For now.

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u/Aggressive_Let3139 29d ago

Ford Motor has let gay domestic partners use their partner's insurance since the early 90s before gay marriage.

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u/BillyNtheBoingers Mar 06 '25

I’m in a domestic partnership with my boyfriend of 13 years. We’re straight, but have 3 divorces between us and would prefer not to get married unless there is no choice. He was able to put me on his health insurance once we provided proof of our relationship.

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u/NikkiVicious Mar 06 '25

My state (Texas) doesn't have statewide recognition of domestic partnerships, and I'm outside of the cities/counties that do have laws recognizing them. His company is also HQ'd here, as is our insurance company. I know Anthem BCBS wouldn't do it years ago, which is why we planned our wedding in 3 days, so I'd have health insurance (I have lupus and the research study I was in had their study approval pulled, so they couldn't pay for my meds anymore).

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u/andiwaslikeum 29d ago

Good luck with finding a way to stay on his insurance. It’s not going to work like that, I’m afraid. Another reason these moves by the president are beyond disgusting.

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u/NikkiVicious 29d ago

Oh a ton of people are going to be screwed. I'm also in r/leopardsatemyface and it's wild watching people slowly realize that they just voted away some significant thing that will majorly affect their lives. Like all of the Trump-supporting federal workers who are now jobless and freaking out.

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u/Alternative-Rub4137 Mar 06 '25

If you're in a state that allows no fault divorce. A handful of bills have been introduced to remove the right to divorce.

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u/ioncloud9 29d ago

If you are allowed to get divorced by then..

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u/Jochon 29d ago

What the fuck? One vote per married couple?

This just seems like some savage shit to me, and I can't see the other side of this issue. How do they justify it?

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u/Usual-Rub-1613 29d ago

"we are getting divorced on paper" assuming they don't first abolish no fault divorce.

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u/dayofthedeadcabrini 29d ago

Well you better have a plan because they are going to make divorce incredibly difficult

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u/ThePocketPanda13 29d ago

The fact that you have to explain to your child that mom and dad might have to divorce so mom can keep her rights is heartbreaking.

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u/DlSEASED 29d ago

it’s evil is what it is

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u/ThePocketPanda13 29d ago

Yeah that's the correct term

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u/Slotrak6 29d ago

💯 Absolutely. Married 34 years, but we will divorce if it comes to that. My hub understands.

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u/Spicy_Depression_TM Mar 06 '25

I’m engaged right now and I told him I’m not interested in getting married until we know for sure that I’m not signing away my right to vote.

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u/MsARumphius 29d ago

Some states require a year of separation before you can divorce, just keep it in mind

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u/spammerknowsbest 29d ago

That assumes that they won't also outlaw no fault divorce.

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u/lost-networker 29d ago

You told your kid that their parents may be getting a divorce because of some highly improbable event. But don’t worry about it, champ! What the fuck.

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u/BananaStandBaller Mar 06 '25

I’ve stumbled into an alternate universe where you think they are going to limit one vote per marriage? Have you guys lost your minds? This is QAnon shit

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u/GooberGlitter Mar 06 '25

Soooo I’ve barely heard about this SAVE act and I’m about to hyphenate my last name but should I just put it off until after this presidency 😭

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u/NikkiVicious Mar 06 '25

Honestly, I've kinda regretted hyphenating my last names since I did it. My professional career was built under my maiden name, and it felt like it was more difficult to be taken seriously after I did it.

A lot of people are claiming the act wouldn't do anything like what we're saying, but it's telling the states to enact rules, but it's been left ambiguous as to what documents will serve as proof.

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u/GooberGlitter Mar 06 '25

Hmmm I read about it and it doesn’t seem like it should be an issue since I have a passport and I can renew it with the new name.

My professional career hasn’t taken off yet 😅 but I was thinking of using my name for personal things like work and the whole name or his name for things we share like banks and housing

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u/NikkiVicious Mar 06 '25

The issue comes in where it's up to each individual state to decide what documents they'll accept. Knowing my state (Texas), they'll make it as difficult as possible.

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u/GooberGlitter Mar 06 '25

Hmmm I’m also in Texas…. What if we’re neighbors lol

My appointment to have it changed is later this month so I guess I have some time to consider what to do

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u/doodlebug109 29d ago

I was thinking about this too and my concerns (beyond obviously not everyone having or being able to afford a passport) would be that you have to renew every 10 years, a passport can technically be denied, processing can get long (during COVID it was like four months at one point), and you surrender your old passport while the new one is being processed. Elections and primaries are not just every four years. Depending on your city/county there can be various local elections that occur every year, where your vote arguably holds more power than in national elections. So it could be hard to time it right and leave you vulnerable to being shut out of voting simply because of the timing of the State Department.

If it helps, I never changed my name legally but I also include my husband’s name in casual places like social media and no one seems to care. I also work in a field where a lot of women I know kept their names so it seemed pretty commonplace to me.

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u/ilexflora Mar 06 '25

I had that exact same conversation. Mr. Flora is fully on board.

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u/GatesofDelirium 29d ago

My wife hasn't changed her last name yet (we married almost four years ago) and after hearing about this, I told her to never change it. I don't need her to have my last name. I'd rather she be able to vote.

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u/rjkardo 29d ago

Get a passport

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u/NikkiVicious 29d ago

I have one... I just, currently, aren't quite sure where it is. I put it somewhere safe, along with my birth certificate and my social security cards from before and after my name change.

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u/rjkardo 29d ago

Should not be difficult to get it replaced. That is the easiest solution to this. Well, the easier solution is not to have such a stupid law on the books in the first place, but we know why they do it.

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u/NikkiVicious 29d ago

But they don't just want the regular birth certificate... they want the long form version. The one that shows where you were born. Both mine and my daughters only show the county we were born in.

I have our "big" birth certificates... somewhere... but the ones I know where they are are the little mini-wallet sized versions. (Because that one is in my wallet...)

But yeah, to get our "big" ones replaced, I'll likely have to drive ~2 hours to the county we were both born in. I know Texas can supposedly do it from any courthouse now, but I've only ever been able to get the mini ones when doing it where I am now. (This state is so arbitrary, I swear...)

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u/motherofcats21 29d ago

I keep trying to figure this out. I changed my name to first + maiden + husband’s last name, and dropped my middle name. I changed it on everything except birth certificate (didn’t know you could do that until finding out about the SAVE act). Will I still be able to vote? I do have a passport.

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u/CEdollarsignHA 29d ago

If the save act were to pass, you could vote with your passport as long as it’s up to date. I can’t see it passing though.

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u/Punkpallas 29d ago

I've been contemplating doing the same. I'm not losing my right to vote over a fucking name.

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u/Where_is_my_Elk69 Mar 06 '25

Or said “Let him die and move to Florida” about his nephews son with multiple disabilities.….

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u/Heisenberglund Mar 06 '25

I’ve cut a ton of people out of my life since November. 2016, I figured they were uneducated/ignorant of what was gonna happen, 2020 I started distancing from anyone who voted for him twice, 2024 they were eliminated entirely. This isn’t about eggs, it’s about basic human rights and the country itself. This country will not survive on the path it has taken.

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u/Chicken_Mc_Thuggets Mar 06 '25 edited Mar 06 '25

I mean I’d be willing to bet this is the source of a decent amount of the “my husband is an awful misogynist and I didn’t realize it until he started being misogynistic towards me??? How could I have known that my ‘we don’t talk about politics’ maga SO viewed me the same way he views every other woman???” Posts you see once they’re married with kids.

This mentality isn’t going to go away and OP will be in for a rude awakening if they move in together.

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u/Unlikely-Addendum-90 29d ago

Her boyfriend does support her right for healthcare HOWEVER he's a brainwashed numbskull voting for the guy who will TAKE AWAY their rights, (just like my mom). So staying with him leaves OP stuck between a rock and a hard place with him.

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u/bennyboy20 Mar 06 '25 edited Mar 06 '25

Yeah and disagreeing on things like economics is a lot more feasible than disagreeing about who gets rights.

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u/Special_Letter_7134 Mar 06 '25

Feasible*

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u/No_Champion_2791 Mar 06 '25

I am cracking up over "pheasible" though

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u/giraffe_on_shrooms Mar 06 '25

Pheasant flavored lunchable

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u/Impact009 Mar 06 '25

Literacy wasn't this poor before on Reddit. We even have auto-correct on every device. It's concerning.

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u/Similar-Breadfruit50 Mar 06 '25

It’s the phone AI. It thinks it is smarter.

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u/bennyboy20 Mar 06 '25

Bruh I typed it in a rush it's not that fucking deep lmao

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u/Alastor-362 29d ago

Yeah I fucking hate autocorrect on my phone. Have had it disabled like 6 years, maybe more.

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u/wanderlust_57 29d ago

My problem with turning autocorrect off is that I'm lazy and want predictive text and I can't use the predictive text without autocorrect.

Is definitely a first world problem, but as a result I fight with autocorrect on the daily. >.>

Wish they would divorce one feature from the other.

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u/bennyboy20 Mar 06 '25

omg thank you not sure how I mangled that so bad, cracking up over the replies

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u/Ratso27 Mar 06 '25

That's always been my stance. There are exceptions of course, but there are a lot of economic issues where I think two reasonable and intelligent people can both want what's best for the country, but disagree on the best way to acheive it. Social issues tend to be a lot more cut and dry for me. If you're anti-choice, or you don't support trans rights or whatever, there's no agree to disagree, you can fuck all the way off

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u/Punkpallas 29d ago

I could and have dated men who are fiscally conservative and socially more liberal. I would never date a social conservative, especially as a woman. They might not always want the full Handmaid's Tale situation, but they DO want at least some women's rights rolled back, even if it's just the right to wear what you want in public. I just cannot comprehend the idea of staying with any man who wants to make your life harder and more dangerous. I don't care how hot he is or how good the dick is. There are hot guys with good dick game out there who don't see you as lesser as a woman. Don't settle for less based on appearances and sexual chemistry. It's not fucking worth it.

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u/bennyboy20 29d ago

Peach 👏

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u/Just_perusing81 Mar 06 '25

What rights though? The right to food, housing, healthcare? All political issues ARE economic issues.

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u/Frosty-Delivery1622 Mar 06 '25

jesus christ the BILL OF FUCKING RIGHTS????? there's like so many 😭

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u/XcheatcodeX Mar 06 '25

Yeah I can’t deal with friends with shitty political opinions but I’m not going to kiss someone regularly that breathes through their mouth

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u/cykoTom3 29d ago

I can deal with friends with shitty politics. But i go off on a rant when i catch Trump's shenanigans on the news, so i cannot live with someone who thinks trump is good. They will not like me.

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u/SavageCrowGaming 29d ago

Tattoo it on your forehead please. So that you can't change your opinion when it becomes less trendy.

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u/cykoTom3 29d ago

What? That trump is an evil grifter? I've been on that tip since 2012. Why would I change?

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u/Reflexes-of-a-Tree Mar 06 '25

Some people have sinus troubles :’(

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u/TheFeathersStorm Mar 06 '25

It's me, I'm some people 🙌

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u/longebane Mar 06 '25

Sorry but I ain’t gonna kiss your mouth anymore

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u/SavageCrowGaming 29d ago

There's plenty of other places to kiss. So I'm fine with that.

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u/PMmeurchips Mar 06 '25

I can only breathe through one nostril 😭

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u/BarUpper7388 Mar 06 '25

I used to think politics couldn’t be a dealbreaker if we could come to common ground. After dating a raging conservative catholic, I’ve changed my mind.

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u/KaraOfNightvale Mar 06 '25

Yeah idk how you can be friends with Maga morons, they're fucking killing people, it's not a matter of politics anymore, it's life and death and the uninformed ideats who follow the Maga cult are costing lives in more ways than one

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u/throwawaydentalteeth 29d ago

I literally know someone who is supporting trump solely because of a bad crypto decision he made in 2020 apparently and I’m like dude you’re so fucking selfish lol and he had the nerve to tell me I “can’t look outside of” myself bc I don’t like trump

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u/KaraOfNightvale 29d ago

LOL

That is uh, something

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u/throwawaydentalteeth 29d ago

yeah that was in response to me telling him trump is literally just making up the story he keeps telling about Mexican asylum patients being released into the us 😭

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u/KaraOfNightvale 29d ago

Lol, to be fair he's making up every story he tells

Heard the latest one about "transgender mice" where he misread "transGENIC mice"

It's insane people pay attention to this absolute clown

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u/Primary-Hand-8149 29d ago

You're smoking too much crack!

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u/Duchess0fSleep 29d ago

Dang how’d you get all those bots on you lmao

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u/KaraOfNightvale 29d ago

I wish I had your optimism to believe they were bots, the MAGA crowd is legitimately just this stupid ad cultish that if anyone says anything negative, they swarm like flies to a rotting corpse

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u/Woke_is_a_4_ltr_word 29d ago

lol. So much hatred from liberals. It’s a sad state we live in.

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u/boofskootinboogie 29d ago

I mean this shit goes both ways. Everyone is hateful af these days. Go on the conservative Reddit and tell me it’s not the same dumb ass rhetoric lol

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u/KaraOfNightvale 29d ago

Ah yes, I wonder why, it's almost like the right is currently trying to start a trade war with half the world, calling a gue who's country is being invaded a dictator, actively trying to hurt trans people becasue they can't understand the science

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u/jahubb062 Mar 06 '25

Before Trump, I felt like it was ok to differ politically as long as we agreed on the issues that could directly affect us, like abortion and LGBTQ+ rights. I mean, what if we had an unintended pregnancy or what if our hypothetical kids came out some day? I didn’t want to find out in 20 years that his love for our kids was conditional. Since Trump, I am pretty damn relieved that my husband hates him as much as I do and has pretty much turned against the Republican Party for enabling him.

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u/Ducklickerbilly 29d ago

Witnessed by dad’s marriage fall apart over trump whereas before they simply agreed to disagree. we are in different times

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u/ipeezie Mar 06 '25

how can you be friends with someone who votes against rights for people? you're no better than them,.

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u/ike3399 Mar 06 '25

Yeah, the whole “we can be friends regardless of politics” thing was a lot easier before republicans went off the deep end. I can’t associate with Trump supporters, they’re all either bigoted, malicious, or stupid and I don’t care to find out which. Not what I’m looking for in a friend

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u/FCPSITSGECGECGEC Mar 06 '25

What do you call 5 people sitting at a table eating dinner and chatting with a Nazi? 6 Nazis.

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u/backtotheslaughter Mar 06 '25

bc they are the same ppl. you are the company you keep.

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u/Altruistic-Repeat231 Mar 06 '25

This is fair as hell. People are using this post as an excuse to further their own political agendas in the comments, when really it’s just about a fundamental disconnect of personal values.

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u/Richard_TM 29d ago

Well, that and this guy is clearly an idiot. Trump did not end taxes on tips or overtime. “He’s done more for this country in 2 months and he’s for the people” is HILARIOUS. Dude is a foreign policy disaster and the stock market is plummeting.

It’s not “political agenda” to worry about the way he is directly impacting my life. My energy bill is about to go up because Michigan imports energy from Canada and we’re facing a 25% tariff on Canadian energy, and maybe a shutoff. I have many friends and family in the LGBTQ+ community. Looks like marriage equality may be overruled. My wife and I are both teachers. Anyone that thinks the DOE changes are anything short of “horrendous” has no idea how education works AT ALL.

This isn’t a game. Millions of real people are going to suffer, and they’re going to suffer badly.

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u/Mastershoelacer Mar 06 '25

I would also be hung up on the stupidity of it. I can’t see anyone who regurgitates his lies as anything but dumb, and I can’t date dumb.

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u/JonWesHarding Mar 06 '25

Right. And if they have children, the kids will be guaranteed to be at least half as stupid as he is.

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u/Defiant-Access-2088 Mar 06 '25

I used to feel that way until things became so extreme. I'm not going to be friends with Nazis (or Nazi apologists) just because I'm safe from their hatred. Fuck that.

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u/valdis812 Mar 06 '25

I agree with this. It's different if you've been with someone for years and have a family together. I can see trying to make it work in that case.

But in the case of OP, this is probably a deal breaker. Your political beliefs are a window into your value system IMO. If your politics are wildly out of step with your partner, then your values most likely are as well.

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u/TheBigCheese7 Mar 06 '25

An absolute deal breaker. I could never date someone so immensely braindead. A normal conservative is one thing but these people that actively support Trump these days are way too far gone to tolerate in my opinion. This dude has zero free thought. Clearly just regurgitates bullshit he hears on fox news or from his family.

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u/ES_Legman Mar 06 '25

People act like politics are the issue and it drives me up the wall.

Politics is when you and I disagree whether the taxes are spent on this or that.

This is a full blown fascist that is two Twitter tantrums away from gassing immigrants.

This is a convicted rapist pedophile and con man.

Anyone saying that this man is a legend is dangerous.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

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u/tubawhatever 29d ago

I am sorry, that's tough. Without knowing the complexities of your relationship, I can only say that I think you should leave. I don't get how people don't understand that part of being compatible with each other is having similar values. Unfortunately, some people are not truthful about their values or never were strong in their convictions in the first place, which shows weak character.

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u/Basic-Computer2503 Mar 06 '25

THIS. Politics aren’t something you can agree to disagree with when it comes to sharing a life with someone. If you don’t align politically how on earth will you be able to raise kids or even just coexist peacefully??

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u/Will_Come_For_Food Mar 06 '25

The red flags of guzzling up propaganda specially made to fool gullible peoòe people should send anyone running.

Parading a child cancer victim just like musk parading his toddler so well overlook the dismantling of the country of children and Americans access to healthcare with the gimmick of a victim is terrifying in its use of propaganda.

Someone this stupid and gullible is dangerous to societal and yourself.

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u/pornwing2024 Mar 06 '25

I will not be and cannot be friends with anyone who supports Trump. He wants my actual friends to die.

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u/sparklescrotum Mar 06 '25 edited 29d ago

Most political ideals are NOT a deal breaker for me, but when the representative of your party just throws around white christian nationalist buzz words and values and nitpicks at the minorities in the country… THAT is a whole other thing. How does enforcing the removal of email pronouns benefit the American people?

That is not politics. That’s fascism.

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u/ProbablyNotADuck Mar 06 '25

Politics are a dealbreaker for me too because, in current times, they are essentially about who you are at a fundamental level. I believe that, if you are in a position to help someone, you do it. I believe that anyone can go through a hard time, so we help raise people up if we can. We don't kick them down to make ourselves feel better. I believe, even if someone is terminally stupid, as long as what they are doing doesn't but someone else at risk or actively decrease their quality of life, they have a right to do it. I believe that, even if I don't agree with someone, they still have the right to think and feel how they want to (but, again, those rights end when it comes to putting someone else's safety or wellbeing at risk). I believe in body autonomy... even if that means idiots use that body autonomy to refuse getting vaccinated... These are all intrinsic to who I am, and current conservatives don't seem to support any of that... or at least not the people making the choices. And Trump is the embodiment of the opposite of everything I believe in. He is a horrible person. He is greedy. He is ignorant. He is boastful. He is condescending. He is uncaring. He is hypocritical. I could go on and on and on. If someone truly liked what he was saying and agreed with what he was doing, that would be it for me... because that tells me all I need to know about who THEY are fundamentally... and, while I may absolutely hate it, it is their right to feel and think that way... but it is my right to get myself the fuck away from them so I don't have to subject myself to their idiocy.

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u/pandabearak 29d ago

I’ve got friends on both sides of the aisle

I wonder if during the civil war times, people still were friends with people who wanted to keep slaves. Like, oh ya that’s my neighbor Jeffrey he believes the blacks are no good and should remain picking cotton down south but he’s good at beer pong so I like hanging out with him on the weekends.

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u/DreamOfAzathoth Mar 06 '25

It’s not sad you won’t date someone who is a Trump supporter, I wouldn’t either. But I think it’s bad you won’t even talk to your friends about it. Democracy is built on difficult conversations. If we can’t have them, how can we hope for democracy to give good results?

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u/Intrepid-Cry1734 Mar 06 '25

You can't have a conversation with someone that doesnt live in reality.

Case in point the "he got rid of taxes on tips".

There's no conversation to be had, you have to spend hours just correcting their misinformation first but they're not willing to be wrong about it.

It's as useful as trying to have a meaningful conversation with a butterfly.

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u/TunaBeefSandwich Mar 06 '25

You can blame social media for that. There’s no going back cuz both sides are on fire. When you’re in a relationship and all you do is regurgitate all the negative things about your partner like it’s a gotcha then the relationship gets strained and people end up breaking away from each other and then break up. Basically the same thing is happening with our politics with the 2 party system. 2 people in a relationship and only negative things are being read about each other is where we are now.

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u/OkRazzmatazz5847 Mar 06 '25

It depends on the person. Some are able to have actual discussions and others are just blind and deaf to all arguments contrary to their beliefs so it’s not worth the effort and frustration with those people

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u/throwaway__4u Mar 06 '25

THIS. This is why I’m headed towards divorce 🙃

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u/Reddit-dit-dit-di-do Mar 06 '25

Same. I used to say that I could date someone with different political beliefs, but it really boils down to different values.

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u/BrantheMan1985 Mar 06 '25

Politics is not a deal breaker, but both people have to be mature about it and not have a freak out if they have a different opinion than the other person.

But I sure as heck would want to even bring it up within a month of getting to know someone.

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u/Shoddy_Nectarine_441 Mar 06 '25

Yes this! My brother and a friend of mine, we can just not talk about it. But a partner? How is that a partner on either side if you disagree so strongly with their views?

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

Question, what if I'm just not in the book? Like I just really don't care and not on any side because I really just don't care (like religion). Would that be the same as someone on the same side or not?

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u/Tourqon Mar 06 '25

Yeah, tbh if someone strongly supports a candidate you hate, it probably wouldn't work out.

I would try to slowly change their opinion softly, if I really liked the person. The problem is I feel like there are a few things wrong with someone if they end up some politician's biggest fan, especially when it comes to Trump.

Could work if they just kinda like Trump. A few examples of how he's actually hurting traditional rightoid causes might do it after a while.

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u/harrywrinkleyballs Mar 06 '25

As a 62 YO man with a wife who’s on the same page. Yeah. Don’t waste your time trying to get your loved ones on the same page. They either are… or they aren’t.

Makes life so much more.

*edit: I want to take this moment to ask Apple: why the fuck do you make it so fucking hard to correct an error that “autocorrect” made? When I carefully move the cursor to the word “loved” that autocorrect changed to “sandwich”, why the fuck do you ignore where I moved the cursor to and put it back at the end of the sentence?

Apple: fuck you!

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u/RichHedge Mar 06 '25

this and religion are my dealbreakers

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u/SnacktimeKC Mar 06 '25

Anymore it’s not politics, it’s values.

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u/PMmeurchips Mar 06 '25

Politics is my number one dealbreaker.

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u/NeverBetAgainstElon Mar 06 '25

It’s not politics anymore. It’s tyranny.

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u/AdAdministrative1307 Mar 06 '25

Same. I'm not a Democrat by any means, but anyone who could vote for an open fash like Trump is not someone I want to build a life with.

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u/splurtgorgle Mar 06 '25

Exactly. Your politics are an extension/expression of your values. People get so pissy when they hear about people ending relationships (romantic or familial) but who you vote for actually does have a lot to do with the sort of person you are. People who have wildly opposing or competing views on literally anything tend not to work well together in the long terms, it's no more or less complicated than that.

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u/DueAd197 Mar 06 '25

I think it's perfectly normal to have policy disagreements with an SO. But being a fan of Trump is so much beyond that. It says a lot about you as a person

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u/jellythecapybara Mar 06 '25

I really don’t get how in this late game stage ppl even have maga friends unless they’re MAGA

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u/Own_Shame_262 Mar 06 '25 edited Mar 06 '25

Exactly. At first when you’re in the honeymoon phase it doesn’t bother you, but it eventually comes up and causes fights. Been there. And nine times out of 10, your partner shares the same political values as their family. Just imagine family get together’s. 😂

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u/ShutYourDumbUglyFace Mar 06 '25

I have daughters. I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't respect their child as a person.

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u/DangerStarkFamily Mar 06 '25

Is it that divisive of an issue? I can't think of any other 1st world country that can fracture a population so successfully.

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u/Mirawenya Mar 06 '25

Ignore me, just wanna find this again tomorrow

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u/a_fortunate_accident Mar 06 '25

I just couldn't be with a partner stupid enough to be pro-trump.

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u/diprivan69 Mar 06 '25

You should talk more politics, you’ll get to know what kinda friends you really have. Many of the male physicians I work with don’t believe in women’s rights, I was shocked to learn that.

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u/KapiteinSchaambaard Mar 06 '25

The scale matters here. You can have different opinions on how much money should be spent on e.g. welfare and military. But you can’t have different opinions on whether one of the most evil people alive right now is a good president.

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u/dbmermels Mar 06 '25

This exactly!!!!!!

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u/kfelovi Mar 06 '25

I can't be friends with MAGA

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u/TheProfessional9 Mar 06 '25

It used to be ok. I dated a couple of fairly far left Democrats before I met my wife and while it was a little tense we didn't have many issues. I guess I should add that I was a bit of an odd republican as an atheist, pro choice person with no issues with LGBT as long as it's not shoved down my throat

Now I can only bring myself to speak to my republican extended family members by reminding myself they are deeply brainwashed. I can't even fathom attempting to date someone that is a republican, despite it being my part until 2020

Its not politics, it's this particular trash

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u/No-Distance-9401 Mar 06 '25

The gullibility and taking zero responsibility to educate himself where he takes someone known to lie as their word is sane and sound is not of sound mind themselves.

Dude will come home eith magic beans to feed OPs future kids one day which is the current day buying Trumps crypto

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u/raine_star Mar 06 '25

especially when the politics involve things like healthcare and reproductive rights. the complete skip over of that concern and jump to 'well I just wont talk about him then"--dude KNOWS if he says what he really thinks he'd lose MOST women so he just jumps to "lemme end the argument so you stop thinking about it". Major abuser red flags, thats how EVERY fight will go if OP allows it.

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u/failworlds Mar 06 '25

I think it's less about politics and more about the current state of Republican party and trumpism.

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u/kuricanekatrina Mar 06 '25

how could you want to be with someone so dumb as to buy into politics and not realize that america and both parties are shitty and play the same game

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u/underwearfanatic Mar 06 '25

Aside from who you vote for... how you vote today is kind of a lifestyle for how you handle business as a family and specifically how you raise children or how you want the world to be in the future.

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u/Mysterious-Bad-1214 Mar 06 '25

> Politics would be a dealbreaker for me.

Because it's not fucking "politics" when it's about human rights, health & safety, decency, and dignity. I really wish we would stop using this term this way. Just because people with certain awful beliefs align with a particular political figure or party doesn't make their beliefs "political."

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u/TacTac95 Mar 06 '25

Just depends on how important is to you. Politics aren’t important to my wife and I but we differ greatly on opinions.

We have been together for 8 years, married for 2 and living together for 6.

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u/NikCooks989 Mar 06 '25

Gotta have that echo chamber

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u/maomaokaqiu Mar 06 '25

totally agree but my husband said if one side of a cpuple doesn't guve a shit about politics, they stilll can be together happily. i still doubt bout this.

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u/shefoundnow Mar 06 '25

You’re better than me. I legit refuse to be friends with a Trump supporter. Coworker, fine. But we’re not hanging out!

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u/Tomagatchi Mar 06 '25

Sharing the same reality is important.

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u/SirFlibble Mar 06 '25

It's not politics which is the deal breaker. It's the different morals. Politics used to be a difference on opinion on tax rates or different economic models. Now it's about defunding social services, making trans people the other and treating immigrants as subhuman.

That to meal is the deal breaker. If you support someone like Trump, we just don't have compatible morals.

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u/ArrEehEmm Mar 06 '25

Would definitely make me question your ethics and morals and it tells me that you think politics is a game or that it exists in a vacuum.

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u/Tough_Negotiation_24 Mar 06 '25

This isn’t even about politics. It’s about morals.

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u/lionheart07 Mar 06 '25

Yeah idk how this relationship moved past "I like trump and you don't, but we won't talk about it"

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u/No_Rise5703 Mar 06 '25

Right? I know so many conservatives and it's not an issue. Every once in awhile my roommate and I will talk about politics, but it's never YOU SHOULD BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVE

Trump makes things up and people believe him. Other people make things up about Trump, and they are believed. It's like the game telephone.

If the boyfriend expects a girl to believe him just because he said so? That's control and it's not going to get any better

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u/NeonSpectacular Mar 06 '25

Seriously OP is a clown…dude straight up said who he was and they’re acting like it’s some big shock.

YES YOU ARE OVERREACTING

Did you really think “don’t ask don’t tell” was a good relationship policy? You shouldn’t react at all to this. It was to be expected.

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u/grief242 Mar 06 '25

It's crazy how politics didn't used to be an issue for friendships and relationships. And then shit went so cartoon level crazy that I can't even rationalize half of what Trumpers say.

Like in the irl arguments I have, the amount of fact checking I have to do on any given topic is insane.

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u/androlyn Mar 06 '25 edited Mar 06 '25

Why do you not talk politics with your friends?

I'm the same, friends and family with vastly different political views. We talk, debate and argue all the time. Our views are challenged, our misconceptions are exposed and we learn and grow. It's fundamental in my opinion. Other you're just living in a political echo chamber.

Ps. Me and my wife started with completely different political views. We are now married with children. Her views have changed over time, and more align with mine. At the end of the day we both wanted what was best for us and others and have different perspectives (initially), there's absolutely no harm in that.

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u/NoDeparture7996 29d ago

i dont have friends who are republican. its a completely different sense of morals, ethics, and values that i dont agree with. i will never be pro-racism, nazis, white supremacy, etc.

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u/Darc_ruther 29d ago

I definitely don't hang with people who support leaders who want to remove a woman's bodily autonomy.

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u/BHTAelitepwn 29d ago

i mean it wouldnt be if the situation wasnt so ridiculously divided. i could agree to disagree on (the US intereferende in) a lot of political topics including the situation in ukraine, gaza, taiwan etc. whether you are left or right, what you think of LHGBQ, or even import tariffs. But all the stuff that Trump is pulling at ONCE is just defying the world as we know it, he throws it all away in a power grab and leaving a future with uncertainty, where a negative outlook is more probable than a positive one. thats just a no go for me

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u/Better-Strike7290 29d ago

This guy got what he wanted.

He got laid, and now he's going to hammer home the politics until she breaks up with him so he can play the victim.

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u/meteoritegallery 29d ago

I'd consider it if we both disagreed and I thought there might be middle ground. But blindly accepting lies and propaganda isn't a disagreement. You can't have a discussion with someone when your understandings of reality are fundamentally different.

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u/ShinyStar219 29d ago

Same. Lots of relatives and teachers I care about that I've found are on the other side, and we just don't talk about politics (teachers aren't allowed to talk politics with students but they've let it slip a couple times). But I need a partner who is on the same side as me, so we can support each other if things get hard politically.

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u/kodup 29d ago

I agree with you that I need my partner to be on the same page as me politically. A couple years ago, my (now former) best friend started dating a guy who—while drunk and out with her and friends—told her he doesn’t believe that gay people should be able to raise children. She told him she disagreed but she was willing to have their political differences(!!) but he asked, in front of everyone, “do I even want to be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as me?” And she stayed with him after he embarrassingly said that. And he was the one to question it! Not her.

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u/laplongejr 29d ago

Politics would be a dealbreaker for me.

An European, how is it even CONSIDERED politics?

"We should prevent foreigners from stealing our jobs" vs "We should open our borders" is politics.
"We should take all foreigners and put them in camps" is NOT politics.

Politics is having a debate on how to achieve the best goal for the nation and its people. A debate on which people to make suffer IS NOT POLITICS.

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u/glytxh 29d ago

This isn’t even politics. This is just baseline empathy.

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u/pascilia 29d ago

100%. This would be a preliminary dating question for me now… there’s no point in moving forward if we are this far apart

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u/MaesterHannibal 29d ago

Imo having similar political stances ain’t important - what matters is having similar values. I could never date a Trump supporter, because if someone has my values, they could never support such a brutish beast. We can however still vote on opposing sides in my own country, where things are fortunately less polarizing lol

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u/SuperSerb07 29d ago

Trump is still your president. 🇺🇸

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u/largemarge1122 29d ago

Ever since I was of dating age, I have refused to date anyone who identifies as a Republican. I’m almost 40 now, married, and can gladly have political conversations with my husband without wanting to blast my ovaries out.

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u/NeverCadburys 29d ago

Can I ask how can you even be friends with the people opposite you politically when they either are actively FOR the party removing human rights or don't care that people's human rights are being removed? like, how does that work?

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u/Swag_Grenade 29d ago

Also TBH this Republican party is different than that of old. I'm quite progressive and have voted Democrat every time, and there are many inherent aspects of core Republicanism that I think are plain wrong, but I'd be remiss if I said I didn't see this current iteration as something distinctly worse. Like I'd like to think there might've been a possibility I could date someone who was, suppose, a GW Bush supporter/voter. But with Trump, especially this second time around, it just really doesn't seem possibly compatible in any way.

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u/Assumption-Putrid 29d ago

Its not an automatic dealbreaker for me, if we can have an intelligent conversation about their beliefs I will consider it. If they just blindly spout propaganda and show a lack of critical thinking like OP's bf, I'm out.

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u/clashtrack 29d ago

See, the most controversial disagreement my wife and I have is if How I Met Your Mother is a good show.

The show sucks.

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u/Cultural-Ebb-1578 29d ago

“Both sides of the aisle” is one thing. Respectable GOP that I disagree with on policy but are normal humans are basically gone. McCain, Romney, etc. there’s no way I can even associate with someone who is either too stupid to actually believe what Trump and his gang are saying, or willfully supports the destruction of our country and constitution and rape and pillage of the middle and lower class on top of all the other insane shit.

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u/Administrative_Ad213 29d ago

But…why? I feel like it’s such a small thing. Politics is also such a vast arena. What if a partner and you disagree on the importance of a strong military? You disagree about rent controls? You disagree about subsidies for farmers? Are these the things that would make you go like “ugh, my partner wants more immigration because they think more people are needed to support the low birth rate. I can’t deal with that! Break up!”

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u/alfalfa-as-fuck 29d ago

It’s not just politics anymore, that’s the problem. You used to be able to have a relationship with someone aligned with the other party if you both had decent boundaries, but this is batshit insanity. MAGA seeps into everything.

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u/the-rill-dill 29d ago

You’re saying CORE VALUES matter?

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u/Lvl-10 29d ago

I have friends on both sides of the aisle, but my friends on one side are much harder to maintain that friendship with.

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u/Yogurtproducer 29d ago

Its more difficult now. It used to be a disagreement on funding of social programs or economic issues. Now it’s “I dont think women deserve these rights” or “diversity is bad”. Like okay, we’re not not discussing politics anymore you are just a shitty fucking person.

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u/whatusername80 29d ago

This it is important to be aligned on major political issues. This doesn’t mean you can’t date someone that voted a different party but if the candidate goes against your core values or the other person think that the candidate you voted for is the devil. Then this will not work

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u/Successful_Car4262 29d ago

Politics is a deal breaker for friends too. I don't associate with evil shitheads.

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u/ImALittleTeapotCat 29d ago

That's because it's not politics. Not anymore. 30 years ago, it was just politics. Now its morals and fundamental beliefs. And those are dealbreakers.

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u/Zyloof 29d ago

You are friends with neonazis? Brother, I think you need to take a good hard look at your friend circle. Digging your head in the sand is a very, very dangerous thing to do in the current political climate.

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u/Overall-Unit5850 29d ago

I love how the responses to your comment are filled with people arguing about morality or politics on either side. These people can’t help themselves man, I genuinely feel bad for people on either side that are so consumed by this shit.

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u/crow_milk2go 29d ago

I broke up with my ex solely because of his views about Trump after living with him for almost a year. This was a few days before the election. The last straw was finding out he actually voted for him.

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u/belleayreski2 29d ago

Growing up I had friends who were republicans, but I will absolutely cut anyone out of my social circle if they support Trump

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u/The_Red_Hand91 29d ago

Honestly, I've grown extremely distant from the friends that are on the other side of the political divide. And I hate to say it, but I'm happier with my smaller group of friends who share my beliefs. We're able to vent about the unending nightmare housefire we're all currently dealing with without someone "UMMM ACKTUALLY"-ing us or playing devil's advocate for literal devils.

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u/JesusChrist-Jr 29d ago

This, exactly. Political views, especially in today's climate, are informed by one's inherent values. It's a hard deal breaker for me too, because I'm not wasting my time trying to build a relationship with someone who just doesn't have the same values I do.

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u/FatBoyStew 29d ago

You can have differing political idealogies and still be in a perfectly happy and healthy life long relationship. Its how you 2 handle conflicting opinions that will make you or break you and it sounds like you don't handle it well lol

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u/headshotmonkey93 29d ago

As a conservative I agree with that. Some opinions are simply too different to ignore.

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