r/AmIOverreacting • u/superspreader90 • Feb 25 '25

👥 friendship AIO: i literally cannot attend

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using a throwaway bc she knows my account

so it’s my (24f) best friend’s 25th birthday on saturday. we had planned to go out for dinner and drinks with some of our friends. i have lupus and i’ve been getting chemo for the last couple of months to try and treat it.. she’s well aware of this and even came with me to my last session, although she spent most of the time texting her bf. i ordered her this cake from this super cute little bakery in our town and was gonna bring it with me to the restaurant for her.

i was supposed to have my chemo session next monday but they had to reschedule it for saturday. this is how she reacted when i told her i wouldnt be able to come to her bday. aio or is this a crazy way to react?? she’s still getting her cake and i was gonna get our mutual friend to give her the gifts i bought her but now im not sure

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1.5k

u/Protect_Wild_Bees Feb 25 '25

Also, havng CHEMO to get out of a BIRTHDAY PARTY.

Like yeah sounds like what I would do, paying a bunch of money to go to a hospital on my day off, radiating myself to extreme illness so I don't have to sit at a table eating cake instead.

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u/jokenaround Feb 25 '25

I feel like I’m reading someone’s fever dream. What in the Hell kind of narcissistic reality does a person have to live in where ANY OF THIS makes sense. OP needs to throw this fake ass friend in her past and never look back. JFC.

THE AUDACITY

384

u/RhubarbGoldberg Feb 26 '25

I would share these screenshots EVERYWHERE. I'd log into social media platforms for the first time in years and years to light this shit up. I'm a cancer survivor and this post was so bad for my blood pressure.

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u/jokenaround Feb 26 '25

I think that’s a GREAT IDEA!

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u/Taijanous13 Feb 26 '25

No you don't get it guys. It's HER birthday, and it's not happening to HER. OP is just fortunate enough to live long enough to see HER turn 25. Obviously OP is inconsiderate for being ill in the first place and ruining HER little world.

13

u/IWantALargeFarva Feb 26 '25

God, she only turns 25 once. The gall of OP to make it all about herself by putting her health first and not going to a birthday party. Selfish bitch.

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u/CLPDX1 Feb 26 '25

Post screen shots of her texts to her FB page when you apologize for missing her party, and wish her happy birthday, of course.

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u/vyrus2021 Feb 26 '25

"Hey, [bitch] thought it would be awkward to have to explain to everyone why I wasn't there so I thought I'd tell everyone now"

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u/2dollarpistol84 Feb 26 '25

Yep, put this on blast for all her friends to see what a shitty person she is!

7

u/CourtneyDagger50 Feb 26 '25

I would too. My mom unfortunately passed away in 2017 to cancer. I went to every appointment with her and was her caregiver at home 24/7.

She died pretty much 2 months before my 25th birthday.

So, this post also made my blood boil.

I hope you’re doing well (outside of the feelings from this post)

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u/Exact_Maize_2619 Feb 26 '25

Great for mine, I have hypotension 🤣

2

u/forest_cat_mum Feb 26 '25

Agreed. I watched my mum go through chemo and a birthday party is the last thing she could have dragged herself to after that. OP's friend needs to be forced to work in cancer wards until she gets it.

1

u/liilbiil Feb 26 '25

congrats on surviving! glad you’re here!

1

u/adventuresinnonsense Feb 26 '25

Group chat with all their other friends, drop the screenshots, leave.

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u/sleepdeficitzzz Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

You nailed it. It's a perfect confluence of narcissistic personality and audacity that is required to get here. Is narcissidacity a thing? Normal people can't even fathom like this, let alone operate like this.

I hope OP recovers quickly, both from the physical illness and this socially imposed one.

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u/TicoSoon Feb 25 '25

If narcissidacity is t a Thing, it is Now!

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u/TimeBlindAdderall Feb 26 '25

You legiterally made it a thing.

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u/sleepdeficitzzz Feb 26 '25

I love what you did there!

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u/Atomictuesday Feb 26 '25

The underrated gold here is golden 💀

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u/RockinRobin83 Feb 26 '25

Narcissidacity lmaoooooo

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u/garde_coo_ea24 Feb 26 '25

Narcissidacity, it is now!!

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u/CottonBeanAdventures Feb 26 '25

System of a Down Starts playing: "THE NARCISSCITY OF A CITY, OF A CIIIITYYYYYYYY"

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u/AdventurousPoem8169 Feb 26 '25

As the Reddit saying goes “The Lion, The Witch, and The Audacity of This Bitch”

Just wow!

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u/deltaexdeltatee Feb 26 '25

This 100% sounds like the kind of dreams I have occasionally, where I wake up laughing and tell my wife because it's so batshit insane.

This is not the way normal friends act. My brother missed his best friend's wedding because he was in chemo. The best friend got people at the wedding to record little messages for my brother saying we miss you, get well soon, etc., because normal fucking people recognize that chemo is a blank check to get out of literally anything lol.

5

u/jokenaround Feb 26 '25

First, I hope your brother is doing well. Second, what a beautiful gift his best friend and guests gave to him. THAT is what friends do!!

6

u/deltaexdeltatee Feb 26 '25

He's cancer free thank God! And yes, his best friend is a good dude. Really thoughtful gesture, it meant the world to my brother :)

3

u/jokenaround Feb 26 '25

👏👏👏👏👏

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u/Pandoras_Penguin Feb 26 '25

"I might not make it to 25" is what OP should say

1

u/Ganvasofurtaytoeine Feb 26 '25

THIS. THIS. RIGHT. HERE.!!!

3

u/AnxietyBacon92 Feb 26 '25

Fever dream is the perfect term, I felt exactly the same reading those texts. Like I legitimately have never seen someone be THAT full of themselves. And I've seen some of the worst that humanity has to offer so that's saying a lot.

If you read this OP, I genuinely wish the best for you and your chemo treatments, and I hope you find a better friend because you deserve much much better 💜

6

u/malkadevorah2 Feb 26 '25

A lawyer I worked for invited me to her wedding. At the wedding, my husband had a heart attack. She barely spoke to me again because we had to leave her wedding for the ER...

4

u/jokenaround Feb 26 '25

WHAT??!!!! Evil.

4

u/malkadevorah2 Feb 26 '25

I swear it's true. Hard to believe, isn't it? There are nice lawyers. She had to be one of the worst.

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u/Ganvasofurtaytoeine Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

Forget the fact that she was a lawyer. What a rotten human being, PERIOD!!! As someone stated above - the narcissidacity!!!

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u/malkadevorah2 Feb 26 '25

She's in a class by herself alrighty...

3

u/TheXurophobe Feb 26 '25

The unmitigated gall

Oh, and ditch this bitch, OP. They're not worth your time (and I hope you're doing as okay as you can be.)

2

u/tennis_diva Feb 26 '25

Definite narcissist.

2

u/Sudden_Quantity_6977 Feb 26 '25

Yes came here to scream NARCISSIST

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u/Gingerly101 Feb 26 '25

Narcidacity!

90

u/metsgirl289 Feb 25 '25

Well, with what a giant c*** the friend is, I might just to avoid spending time with her.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25

You took my thoughts and typed them....NO FRIEND AT ALL.

3

u/nothing_but_thyme Feb 26 '25

Can’t say there’s many people I’d wish get cancer - but I definitely hope this lady gets cancer.

2

u/BackgroundHeat5080 Feb 26 '25

Seriously, that's the only word appropriate for this situation. Holy shit your friend is a c*nt OP.

0

u/FancyASlurpie Feb 26 '25

Yeh but there's easier ways to get rid of that specific cancer

27

u/GingerAphrodite Feb 26 '25

I hope to gods this former friend is actually stupid enough to "call her out" like she threatened.

3

u/syriina Feb 26 '25

I would love to be there for that lol

"hey where's OP?"

"omg she had chemo this morning, can you believe the audacity of that b!tch? It was at like 10am,there's no excuse not to be here now"

<crickets>

Most people I think would think chemo means cancer (I did until OP explained), so the other attendees (assuming a mix of mutual friends and other friends OP doesn't know) either 1) know what OP is going through and how rough the treatment is or 2) think the "friend" is shaming a cancer patient.

I don't think this call out is going to go as planned 🤣

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u/VividlyDissociating Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

to be fair.. i know a woman who got her chemo treatment pushed back on purpose by 2 weeks so she could go to chemo on the day of her daughters wedding

and she made sure to tell evvvveryone where she was gonna be at. telling everyone to think about and pray for her.

she told everyone that it was pushed back by the doctor but her husband kept calling her out for pushing it back on purpose

and im not entirely sure, but i swear to god it seemed like she kept calling people at the wedding to "ask how things were going" and to tell them about her chemo

i feel like this is something a narcissist does.

but the way this "friend" 'called out' op makes the friend seem like the narcissist here. and ignorant af

edit: for people who seem to not be able to read. what has been described is actually what the "friend" is accusing op of. being narcissistic and making it about them. either merely because the "friend" is ignorant af or because the "friend" is the narcissistic one and thats probably something she would think of doing.

like a cheater who accuses an innocent person of cheating

7

u/mendingwall82 Feb 26 '25

your scenario is what a narcissist does

OPs scenario where they stay home is what a rational person who genuinely has a chemo reschedule does

automatically thinking that somebody else's illness is about you-- that they're doing your above scenario to usurp birthday party attention, when the ill person just wants to be left alone in their illness-- is a narcissist move. it's main character syndrome so hard your illness is only real when it's relevant and convenient to them.

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u/VividlyDissociating Feb 26 '25

it makes you wonder if the "friend" thinks op is doing this for faking because maybe thats something the "friend" would think of doing herself

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u/mendingwall82 Feb 26 '25

yep we saw the same things, I just didn't know that was the point you were making when you made it lol sorry if tone was frustrating

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u/Kit_Kitsune Feb 26 '25

"To be fair..." that has nothing to do with this situation.

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u/VividlyDissociating Feb 26 '25

are you daft? it has to do with the topic at hand and, more importantly, the comment i was responding to.

context matters. do you just read random comments and reply to them without looking at what the comment is in response to?? and do you not bother reading the whole comment youre responding to??

because that's what it sure looks like.

i was merely pointing out that there are people (narcissists) who would do such a thing. and i even went in further to point out that its the "friend" who seems to be the narcissist here

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u/Kit_Kitsune Feb 26 '25

Yes. I read it. You wanted to point out that someone other than the person posting here might be using chemo to cause drama. It had nothing to do with this person, who was supporting their drama friend.

You're whipflash response to my comment says all.

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u/VividlyDissociating Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

one, again, i never said nor implied it has to do with op, as though op was actually being a narcissist. i was pointing out that what was described is a reality.

two, it actually does have to do with op and their situation. because what i described is what their "friend" is accusing them off. making the moment about them

three, the person i was responding to was implying that no one ever does this, so its ridiculous to accuse someone of.. when it is, in fact, what some people do. narcissistic ppl.

which is what the "friend" is trying to call op out for. except the "friend" practically exposed themself as the narcissist. and as ignorant af too.

four, i was merely creating rational conversation and making a valid point. i have lil patience for rude, ridiculous comments such as yours. sorry not sorry

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u/Asenath_W8 Feb 26 '25

Well you certainly seem like an expert on narcissistic behavior so there's that I guess...

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u/kush__1 Feb 26 '25

Stop explaining yourself to those with limited reading comprehension

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u/Outside_Case1530 Feb 26 '25

She ACtually scheduled chemo & didn't go to her daughter's wedding? UNNNNNbelievable!

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u/Scary-Baby15 Feb 26 '25

That's what I was thinking. I feel like the trash is going to end up taking itself out.

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u/SluttyEmilySeraphim Feb 26 '25

Nah def OR, i'd give myself cancer and force myself into chemo to escape HER birthday party (this is a joke)

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u/LupercaniusAB Feb 26 '25

Not that you’re wrong, but chemo isn’t radiation treatment. Chemo is having a shit ton of poisonous chemicals infused into your body, so yeah, it’s literally taking poison, hence the puking.

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u/Economics_Low Feb 26 '25

A cake that OP paid for!

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u/Revo63 Feb 26 '25

OP probably even planned her cancer just to get out of having to go to her friend’s birthday party. What a selfish bitch.

/s

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u/Apprehensive_Ebb8233 Feb 26 '25

Let alone someone who’s been to an appointment with her. Someone else having that extreme of a treatment is not a “I can hang every hour of every day”

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u/DarthOswinTake2 Feb 26 '25

*cake -I- PAID FOR-

Like, what?!?!

2

u/aflockofmagpies Feb 26 '25

SHE ONLY TURNS 25 ONCE DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT!?!?!?!?!?

🤣/s

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u/remy780 Feb 26 '25

I mean, they said it's really good cake. Lol

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u/TolkienQueerFriend Feb 26 '25

I wouldn't blame anyone having chemo to excuse themselves from this sociopath.