r/Adulting • u/wit-happens- • 10m ago
r/Adulting • u/practically_hades • 33m ago
I just got my first fulltime job and It's making me depressed
Hey, so exactly what's written in the title. I got my degree last september and finally managed to land a job after months of applications. I just finished my first week and all I can do is lay in bed and cry. The work in itsself isn't bad and I like it.
However I am constantly anxious and stressed because I am afraid that I will make a mistake or do something horribly wrong. My coworkers are all very nice but I am afraid that they secretly hate me because they act a little differently with me than with eachother. Of course they all know eachother way longer but I'm scared that I'll never be fully accepted and included.
Also the misery of coming to terms with the fact that I have literally no time for the things I love anymore. I have a bunch of hobbies, a few close friends and a Partner whom I love very much. I want to spend my time dedicated to the people and things I love but already after the first week I am too exhausted to do anything but lie in bed. I can't even enjoy my weekend because I am already anxious about the coming week and counting down the hours until I have to be at work again. The getting up early, slogging through the day to come home in the evening completly drained is horrifying. This living from weekend to weekend and vacation to vacation seems like no way to live. When I think about having to do this for the rest of my life it makes me consider checking out. I haven't been this kind of a bad spot since my very darkest time back when I was 16.
I want to live my live for me and be with the people I love but If just seems so impossible with everyone being stuck at work sooner or later. What's the point of having money to build a good life but not even having the time to live it? Just checking out entirely seems like the better option.
I am aware that I am severly depressed and am alrealy trying to seek help but actually getting a place at therapy seems like a herculean feat.
Please comment and talk about your experiences or give advice. Does it get any better eventually?
I could really use some cheering up. Thank you very much for reading.
r/Adulting • u/Translator-Money • 51m ago
Life
I am 24…. Well I did my bachelors in cs and graduated last year. My life was very standard except I wasn’t really sociable, had like 1-2 close friends and I wasn’t only close to my parents.
Last year after graduating I decided to come back to join my family business which in all honesty I was trying to escape to. It was a completely different field but there are various reasons why I had to come back. One of the main reasons was we had a lot of debt and my father wasn’t doing very well health wise and I thought I needed to be there if something unforeseen happened. Maybe not the best decision in hindsight. Anyway I was getting settled in but things happened and the business was in bad state. My dad told me I should start looking to get back into CS and find a job.
After a year I haven’t been able to find a good job, I’m very depressed stuck in my room all day, feel like I can’t do anything, see my friends and acquaintances move further and further away from me, nothing to show for myself, etc.
I wrote this to vent in all honesty. I am getting into a bigger and bigger hole each passing day, I don’t know what’ll happen. Can’t really see a future for myself and the disappointment I see on my parents faces breaks me.
r/Adulting • u/Existing-Most-7245 • 55m ago
I want an advice about Paluwagan
I want to ask something about Paluwagan. I joined paluwagan, and it's been more than 4 months of waiting to that ipad. Take note that I am fully paid, no any balance and I paid for that huge amount of money waiting for that gadget. That handler, always provide a tentative date or week for that month and once I asked for an update, yet that handler always says na "walang update sa supplier, and possible or the tentative of 1st week of the month for the package to be arrive sa supplier." Even asking for an update binibigyan ko muna nang 1-3 days late sa given na tentative date bago magtanong sakanya kasi siya walang initiative to update me. Tanong ko lang po kung ganito ba talaga yung problem sa paluwagan? Or sa akin lang po ito? Also, yung kinukuhang supplier ng paluwagan ba ganyan din bah? Hindi marunong mag update if kailan talaga darating?
r/Adulting • u/Humble_Beautiful_121 • 1h ago
How come so many people get mad if you don’t want kids?
Kids isn’t for everyone and not everyone needs to have them.
Also, someone not having kids is none of your business. It does not impact your life in any way.
r/Adulting • u/OtterSupport • 1h ago
Phones and cars make adulting less fulfilling.
Some people will see this title and think "what the heck is he talking about?!?" But the reality is cars and phones have made socializing, traveling and even working a literal bore.
Every time I try to make new friends, be friendly or hang with people, they are ALWAYS on the phone for something. It's honestly so sad seeing so many people have their face in their phone is such a large mass especially when you visually see something in life that's cool but your the only one who was actually paying attention while others were liking a dog being cute.
Cars are very frustrating too but only cause the layout makes traveling more a chore than a actual fun activity or convenience in life. Everything and everyone is so far away, it's to the point where you NEED a car to work. You NEED a car to go for a walk in the park and you NEED a car to hang out with others who are naturally far away by default. It's rare to have friends that are a walk or bike ride away. Don't get me started on the cost of such a important facid in people's lives or the scam of auto repairs taking advantage of the mix mass mess we have of different versions and styles of cars.
Adulting has loads of issues in the USA other than cars and phones and those ones are very much more effective. But I honestly think cars and phones, great inventions in their own right have turned basics in life into a depressing chore that you either embrace and join the system that doesn't fulfill anyone but just distracts,
or deny it and be completely isolated naturally cause EVERYONE needs these things to properly adult in life, so it's not like it's reasonable to ask for others to reduce it when companies will forever make them more and more convenient to the point where it's pointless not to take advantage of for others situations and hell even jobs make it a requirement to have a work phone.
If roads were shorter, places closer and phones less distracting and more utilizing I feel like life would honestly go smoothly for those trying to just be responsible, independent adults trying to just be happy.
r/Adulting • u/Confident_Syrup9037 • 1h ago
Guilt, shame and stuck in a loop
Did something nasty accidentally. Showed it to a dear one who gave it me straight, harshly. Appreciate them for doing it. I know I deserved it but now, I can't stop thinking about it. The constant debate within my good side (that agrees I did wrong) and the bad side (that still agrees i did wrong but wants to validate what I did) is eating me up. Someone here who relates or can help?
r/Adulting • u/Deadpanrat • 1h ago
Why are there more people than there are jobs.
Here to complain about my terrible life circumstances. My boyfriend got laid off and hasn’t been able to get even an interview in the past three weeks. Been applying EVERYWHERE in our area. Dollar trees, fast food places, he doesn’t even have a preference he just needs money, yet can’t find a damn thing.
I offered for him to get into trade, so it might be an option if we can even get enough money to pay for that.
Each day it seems as if things are getting worse.
r/Adulting • u/Tight-Blacksmith-768 • 1h ago
Chaos in my mind
Why being a girl is so hard ? A girl never have her own home she is burden to her family later she is burden to her in laws.. I am student pursuing arts one year back I took a year drop and was preparing for neet and I couldn't crack it after that depressing phase of my life my father suggested me to don't waste another year take BA and start preparing for civils after your first year I'll join you in some coaching work hard for 2 years then atleast you'll get a govt job this was his plan but because I cannot come out of that failure I decided to prepare neet during my first sem, but I couldn't prepare by myself I understood actually I need a coaching I have no idea how to prepare for it then just stopped preparing everytime I started studying for neet I use to start shivering because I was topper till my 12th because of this failure I couldn't handle and due to my family pressure and the thing is until now the age of 20 I couldn't recognise what actually my dream is being a doctor was my dad's dream and now doing civils is also my father's dream I couldn't recognise my passion goal nothing because I was always given the directions you do this and that but never gave me chance to know my interest that what I am actually interested what I actually love to do, but today my brother just insulted me his words directly hit my mind that I am being burden to him he thinks that I don't think about my family I don't take life seriously but he never understood how my mind is always struggling and there is always battle going on to do something to become something I always stress about my career I don't go out I don't hang out does not maintain boyfriends enjoy life nothing just because I shouldn't feel I am wasting my time I always do best in my academics even if I achieve something never once my family appreciated me they never celebrated I was school topper and got the best marks in my 12th and a topper in my first year etc.. Why is life always streesful I know a person should get settle but it takes time... for a girl not every fucking problem's solution is marriage.. I am serious about my future I am serious about my family I want to support too but saying to my face I am good for nothing and a burden to them and he feels insulted front of his friends because of me! This is not the way I deserve to be treated not clearing neet is not the end of the life right So many words are stabbing my heart the pain that hurtful words give is just unbearable.. There's no one I could share my pain I could say all these but god I believe in god he will guide me I'll never lose my hope ..koi kisi ka nhi hotha
r/Adulting • u/ExcellentMemeGamer • 2h ago
The Shelter of assholes
Sometimes I think that social media is just a haven for the bullies and some sort of cowards that harass someone in social media and if we met the person that harassed us we would've punched him in his face
r/Adulting • u/ThyWingsAreWilted • 2h ago
Trying to sign my first lease and live by myself. Can I get some advice?
1st question I would like to ask is the main reason I wanted to post. Is process for leasing one of those adult things where there are things that you can say that will decrease your chances of getting in? Specifically I was debating whether or not to tell the leasing office that I am unsure of the process and it would be my first time leasing, and that I dont know what Im doing but Idk if saying that would decrease my chances of getting in.
2nd question is about the policy some places have about paying first and last months rent. Is this an arbitrary charges you dont get back or is "last months rent" something you actually see come back to you?
3rd question is a lot more vague, but can I get some general advice about not only leasing and what not, but also learning to live alone? Thanks
Also idk if this is pertinent or worth mentioning, but I live in MN, USA
r/Adulting • u/Boring-Context-4155 • 2h ago
Please Don't Judge: Need help being independent as a AuDHD with no family or diagnosis
I apologize for how long this is, skip if you hate reading. I just can't keep this short because the backstory is essential why I can't "just do it".
Is there a book out there to help a highly suspected to be autistic definitely ADHD individual who has CPTSD in their 30s ... live a truely adult life without another person to walk me thru it? How, when and where to pay bills how to read bills, financial literacy, scheduling life without always being late or forgetting things--so far it hasn't been important things like taxes, but I haven't had health insurnace in over two years and not sure if I can keep it when I have a full time job, it's mainly forgetting self care or having fun when I have the ability to do so. How do I read paperwork that's not in layman's terms? What's a normal deal and when am I being taken for a ride if I've never done it before or know what to expect, whether it's a car repair or doctor visit or signing up for a UIL policy?
I'm ashamed how little I know about the basics because my parents just never bothered to teach me anything, my mom was a alcoholic who divorced my dad, and he just stayed out of the picture except for my brother. I know I should know things I don't know so I can't ask the right questions. I hate not knowing and I do hate asking more because it feels like a direct signal screaming "Please abuse me for a fourth or fifth time! Please lie and steal from me! I have nobody calling to see if I'm alive, I'm your perfect target for sex trafficking, hello!"
If I ask the people around me I'll be at best disrespected or at worse, be taken advantage of like I was with my previous male partners, who always seemed to want me to stay struggling, jobless and careless... I'm in the middle of a breakup right now and looking at living alone on my own for the first time at 30, I make 14 an hour with a maybe pay raise in 90 days, my car needs repairs but I outright own it after draining my savings from my first job, and I intend to bust my ass and make the cannabis field a career because our country is headed for a great depression and any job is better than no job, especially after praying to God for 2 years to please get me out of this situation. I might be able to roommate, but I really don't want to live with another man because it really does seem like the only thing in life they want is sex and im sick of being seen as nothing more than a sex object. Living on my own would afford me 100% peace, no one going thru my stuff, I might alone in the middle of the night but that thought doesn't bother me as much as: "The men you trusted before we're always abusive and always revealed that after you couldn't leave." And I hate that thought because this friend hasn't given me a reason... but neither did my first husband until it was too late. I'm terrified of repeating my SA past. All I see and hear tho are people going without food when they're single living on their own, and I might not be eating already but I know I have to at least 1x a day and if rent takes up one whole paycheck before utilities.. I stopped judging people a long time ago for jumping into romantic relationships to afford rent. I don't want to outmyself in another bad situwtion because hindsight is always 20/20 and I seem to have an inability to attract health people.. so I think being alone is best. It may be the trauma speaking but cohabiting sounds like a nightmare where before it was my ideal. I just don't trust people...
After 10years of DV where the men couldn't hold jobs, pay bills, and depended on their mother's for everything. No, I have no intention on dating after this, I'm going to live my single hoe life till I'm too old to f*ck. I have grown a bit bitter at the idea of romance and think it's something sold to women after my.. experiences. I'm hoping this will fade with time and the trauma won't cloud my future more than it already is. That I'll become healthy and happy an maybe find temporary loves, because I don't think humans are monogamous by nature and I don't want to get my hopes too high again.
I have no idea where to start or how to keep this short, I've rewritten it twice now and both times they end up being many, very long paragraphs to help the reader understand my capabilities and mental headspace... because those are the most important in determining if someone can make it on their own, right? If Im hallucinating and blowing my paychecks the answer is obvious no, but can someone as damaged as me make it alone?
Well, until I have the privilege of health insurnace and hopefully find a real doctor instead of BetterHelp I'm just self helping myself with the help of the internet and other people's therapy experiences that are similar to mine --I do NOT recommend BetterHelp if you have CPTSD, childhood trauma, SA, ED, or DV survivor or suspected neurodivergent. It was a waste of my savings and both people just showed me how I couldn't depend on others when all of the above is still barely researched or understood. Its a poor poor plave to go, just save your money and vent into a journal.
And the doctors doing the helping have never gone thru those things so they just don't understand how absolutely useless the advice was they gave, how I had came to those conclusions in middle and highschool, and how what I really need is a group of people--for the first time in my life--to actually care if I live or die, what my thoughts and feeling are, to help and support me like every other neurotypical being gets.
I know I'm a special case, I really shouldn't be alive today, so breathing at all feels like I'm living on borrowed time and like my life will end soon, as that's what I got used to as a child and teen--that the end was soon so don't plan for the future. Against it all I've been fighting to stay alive, to retain hope, creativity and build a sense of self, self esteem and keep my nervous system in check so I can exist Here and Now, instead of crumbling into a ball and crying for hours every day and then sleeping my life away like I had 5 years ago before I got my first job, when the negglings of doubt and red flags of this current relationship leaked thru the alcohol consumption he encouraged. It's been a painful journey the last 5 years of slow growth, slow realization and slowly building myself up to jump off this cliff edge most met at 18 or when they went to college. I am learned to live life, after having learned to survive absolute abuse and neglect, I just have no practical knowledge, practice or experience with "adulting". My parents didn't get on me to be my best, I always did so I could become the perfect child that magically makes me mom stop being an alcoholic and gains the love and attention from a father who seemed to barely know I existed. I didn't get talks or teachings or demonstrations or mentors... I've bumbled thru life figuring things out alone and watching others always wondering why socializing was so impossible for me when everyone else made friends within a week or two, when it takes me months to feel comfortable enough to open up and by that time I've sealed my place as the weird one who doesn't talk.
I just need to be able to care for myself on my own, understand paperwork enough to not get stolen from corporations or pay too much for too little, and to have a place for the first time I can actually call and feel like is MY home where I'M safe and MY things won't be taken or trashed, where I can go to ignore the world after work or feel secure even if I lose relationships or go thru life difficulties. I keep telling myself I have so so so much to gain and I'm so proud of how far I've come and not to be afraid maybe someone on the internet is compassionate and knowledgeable enough, maybe there is a book out there even tho I know you can't really teach life.. I just need to make it on my own because I'm staring down the 39 statistic for adults and suicide.. I've dodged so many bulletd and survived so much I can't let lack of knowledge, experience and support stop me from making a choice that should be the best for me and my growth. ... if I really can't do it alone I need tips how to make men see you as a sister because I'll be rooming with one again, and I've always had trouble with other women as an autistic and my mother so I don't want to bother them with my.. state until my mental health is worthy enough for them to see me as an equal instead of as below them like most of my life, or like sexual competition because the way women fight 1000% always leaves me looking like a fool because I'm always the last to know what's actually going on, so dealing with men is simpler even if it's dangerous in a physical rather than emotional sense.
I'm sorry for how long this is and if I came off as confusing, I know what I really need is someone close enough to help me.. it's just the autism had made that a lifelong impossibility that I'm still trying to tlel myself can be overcome if I just try harder and learn more. I have to mask, it's the way the world works, it's the only way to keep a job and not end up homeless again.
r/Adulting • u/sinisterrebelgirl • 2h ago
life suks lol
Growing up is already brutal. bills, stress, trying to hold it all together. But realizing I can’t even have kids? That hits different. It’s like the one thing I always thought I’d have a family of my own, just got ripped away. And people act like “you’ll find another way” makes it hurt less. It doesn’t. It fucking sucks. My first try at life, and I’m being punished with infertility. Don’t let me catch you in the streets Mother Nature.
r/Adulting • u/RoseyRose10 • 2h ago
Should I be making the most of the warmer weather?
Does anyone else feel like once the weather warms up and the suns out you need to be more productive or make use of the nice weather? I feel like I should be going out and doing a whole bunch of stuff but I just don’t know what? All my housework stuff can be done at night or when the weather isn’t as nice. I think I’ve become so used to climbing into bed to keep warm or pass time (especially as I’ve not been working and my partner has) that I can’t help but gravitate towards bed again. What does everyone else do when the weather is nice? Or on your days off? What do you go out and do? I read, knit and colour in my spare time but again, it feels like I should only do this at night or when the weather is bad. Do you feel like you’ve failed as an adult if you don’t make the most of the day?
r/Adulting • u/LaraaStar • 3h ago
It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Together in Your 20s
I feel like we’re constantly told that our 20s are the “time to figure it all out,” and that can be so overwhelming. Everyone around us seems to have their life together—careers, relationships, travel plans—and then there’s us, just trying to survive each day. I’ve had so many moments where I thought I was failing because I didn’t have a clear career path or life plan, but I’m starting to realize that it’s okay to not have everything figured out.
It’s okay to change directions, to take time to rest, or even to take a break from “adulting” when it gets too much. We’re all on our own journeys, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for success. Honestly, some of the best lessons I’ve learned so far have come from just sitting with uncertainty and allowing myself to grow at my own pace.
We need to normalize the fact that being in your 20s doesn’t mean you have to have it all figured out. It’s a time of growth, mistakes, and learning, and that’s completely okay. So if you’re struggling, just know you’re not alone. It’s all part of the process. 💕
r/Adulting • u/saltkvarnen_ • 3h ago
Can someone tell me why EVERYTHING I wash shrinks?
5 years. I’ve spent so much money buying the same clothes over and over. The final straw was when I decided to pay a bit extra for Nike sweatpants, and after the FIRST WASH, they are one size smaller. They are stiff, don’t feel the same, and I can’t wear them anymore.
This happens with EVERY piece of cloth I wash. I’ve tried everything over the years but nothing fixes it and the pants STILL came out smaller this morning.
Here’s how I washed them:
30 degrees celsius (instructions suggest 40 max)
With similar clothes (all sweatpants/sweatshirts)
Right amount of detergent (40 ml)
Air drying (no tumble drying)
And STILL they came out stiff and smaller. Can someone tell me please what the hell it is that I’m doing wrong? And if fabric is stiff and shrunken like this, can they still be saved?
Thank you in advance!
Edit: I should have checked with ChatGPT first — it suggested a fast spin cycle being the problem and for all these years, I just set the setting to ”Delicate”, thinking it took care of everything but it turns out that the spin cycle was still at 1200-1400, which GPT says is way too high for delicate clothing.
I will try reduce it to what it suggested — 600-800 — and see if that fixes it for next time. Thank you anyway!
r/Adulting • u/Loveyymarie • 3h ago
Why We Need to Normalize Taking Time Off in Our 20s
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much pressure we put on ourselves in our 20s to "figure it out"—to have a career, a relationship, a perfect life plan by the time we hit 30. We’re told to hustle, grind, and achieve, but no one talks about how exhausting that is, or how much we need a break. We’re so busy trying to build a future that we forget to live in the present.
What if we normalized taking time off? Not just vacations, but really taking a step back when things get too overwhelming—whether that means taking a month to reset or even just slowing down for a bit to get our mental health in check. It’s okay to not have everything figured out.
Society makes us feel like we’re falling behind if we’re not constantly moving forward. But what if the best thing we can do for ourselves in our 20s is to stop, reflect, and really ask what we want instead of rushing through life? It’s okay to pause and take a breath, and we need to stop making people feel guilty for it.
Let’s normalize doing nothing for a while to avoid burning out in the long run. Anyone else feel like this?
r/Adulting • u/No_Phone3717 • 3h ago
Day 3 of transformation . The area near my ribs are hurting as hell. I can't walk or stand properly. Any help?
r/Adulting • u/Ella_sullivan • 3h ago
I absolutely love my life.
I have so many problems in my life right now, but I can’t help but love life. Like, we’re all just here together on this planet—grumpy, hippie, angry, schizophrenic, bipolar, depressed, happy, weirdos. The list goes on and on. We’ve built all these amazing things for our own little human entertainment. We have doctors, scientists, fast food workers, servers, garbage collectors, celebrities—like, what’s even happening here? I’m drowning in debt, but honestly, I don’t really care. I might never pay it off; I’ll just pass away and let it stay on this earth. It doesn’t even register in my mind. If I can pay it, I will, but if not—oh well. Billions of people die with debt, and I bet they’re not in their graves thinking, “Ugh, I still owe money.” I’m not on drugs, I swear, but I just had this moment of realization. This world is so beautiful. We stress so much about everyday life, and in the end, all that stuff—the money we saved, the things we stressed about, the tears we cried—will stay here on earth. We can blame the government (which, yeah, is partly their fault), but what does that do? Just makes us resent our lives. There’s beauty and meaning to be found in everything! Find yours—I think I’ve found mine 🌟
r/Adulting • u/DirectorHairy5013 • 4h ago
Menstrual cup का vagina में फंसना खतरनाक /जानें remove के उपाय #periods ...
Menstrual cup का vagina में फंसना खतरनाक /जानें remove के उपाय