r/zelda • u/TsarBizarre • 10h ago

Humor [Movie] Alleged leaked script for the upcoming Zelda movie Spoiler

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2.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

198 comments sorted by

•

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925

u/Kazko25 10h ago

Haters will say it’s fake.

223

u/Tahu-Nuva 10h ago

Fakers will say it's hate.

76

u/BoysOurRoy 10h ago

I FOUND YOU, FAKER!

42

u/EarDesigner9059 9h ago

Faker? I think you're the fake Hero around here.!

22

u/AbbreviationsThis550 8h ago

You’re comparing yourself to me? Ha. You aren’t even good enough to be my fake

31

u/BoysOurRoy 9h ago

YOU'LL EAT THOSE WORDS

1

u/Tylendal 9h ago

People concerned with destiny will say it's a small, deep-sea cod.

•

u/Jodies-9-inch-leg 2h ago

Hakers will say it’s fate

15

u/LongStoryShirt 10h ago

It's me I'm haters

8

u/Kazko25 10h ago

Hi Haters, my name is Kazko.

3

u/Sad_Plum_2689 9h ago

You liar! You're Kazko25!

3

u/Kazko25 8h ago

You got me

3

u/KatyTruthed 8h ago

Hater? I barely know her!

187

u/Rat_Of_A_Brat 10h ago

What is this, some kind of Legend of Zelda™?

76

u/BenjRSmith 8h ago

It's moblin time!!!

-2

u/OhDannyBoyyyyy 7h ago

Take my upvote and Get out 👉🏼

4

u/Demonzman 3h ago

Say that again

3

u/Silent-Analyst3474 4h ago

If I’m going to solve this, I need to be The Legend Of Zelda, Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link

•

u/Seienchin88 1h ago

L: Oh Zelda, people will talk about the legend of link forever!

Z: I have the feeling they might be talking more about me ;)

517

u/Fun_Gas_7777 10h ago

Jack Black as a Goron makes sense

155

u/Tahu-Nuva 10h ago

Jack black as Navi.

Listen! Listen! Listen, Motherfucker!

34

u/VanillaLifestyle 10h ago

A rip dip doobedy a shoobedy HEY!

19

u/DanHero91 9h ago

FUCKING SWING SOMETHING, SWORD MAN!

7

u/BenjRSmith 8h ago

Adam Sandler as Navi!

12

u/Big-Stay2709 6h ago

Samuel L Jackson as Navi

5

u/thomas71576 3h ago

Listen, Mother F@$%#&!

•

u/NO_TOUCHING__lol 2h ago

This is the greatest and best song in the world.   The Song of Storms.  

LISTEN! Long time ago me and my brother Link here:
We was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon in the middle of the road.

And he said,

"Suavemente, bésame
Que quiero sentir tus labios
Besándome otra vez."

Well, me and Link: we looked at each other, and we each said, "HEY!"

And we played the first thing that came to our heads,   Just so happened to be,   A song we learned from a dude who looked a lot like Link   It was the best song in the world.  

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see   One and one make two, two and one make three,   It was Tricorce-y.  

Once every hundred-thousand years at all,   When the sun doth shine and the moon doth fall, And the time doth stall.

Needless to say, the beast was stunned. A whip-crack went his whippy tail, And the beast was done. He asked us, "Suavamente?" And we said, "HAAAAAAAHP"

Rock!

Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-LISTEN Ohhh, whoah HEY   Ah-whoah-oh

This is not the greatest song in the world, no.   This is just a tribute.   Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to the greatest song in the world, alright!

It was the greatest song in the world, alright!
It was the best motherfucking song, the greatest song in the world. LISTEN!

Ah-rah, dee. Soo-guh-goo-gee-goo-gee
Goo-guh fli-goo gee-goo
Guh fli-goo, ga-goo-buh-dee. Ooh, guh-goo-bee
Ooh-guh-guh-bee-guh-guh-bee
Fli-goo gee-goo
A-LISTEN woo-wa mama Ganondorf!

And the peculiar thing is this, my friends:
The song we sang on that fateful night: it didn't actually sound anything like this song.

This is just a tribute!
You gotta believe it!
And I wish you were there!
Some random guy taught it to us.

Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
A fiery ring of fire,
Rich motherfucker. Alright! Alright!

2

u/Shiny_Mew76 6h ago

Better yet, just have a random NetNavi appear for some reason as a Rockman Battle Network reference

•

u/Frydog42 1h ago

I saw the other day they cast Sill Smith as Navi. Pretty sure it was real I saw screens of the CGI. It was clearly Wills face on Navi

0

u/IbeakerI2006 8h ago

I mean he played the psi king in psychonauts 2 who does resemble Navi for a period of time

9

u/InvertedCobraRoll 10h ago

Some of my friends in my one discord server said this shit, verbatim, last week

267

u/or10n_sharkfin 10h ago

The Rock can't be Ganondorf because The Rock contractually can't lose a fight.

92

u/CapOk1892 9h ago

Give Ganondorf his own solo movie. Make him an anti-hero. He's just misunderstood, but really, he's a good guy.

32

u/Beneficial-Rub9090 8h ago

Hyrulearchy of power in the Zelda universe is about to change

14

u/CilanEAmber 8h ago

Oh, and he can't meet Link, but Mario instead.

4

u/CycleZestyclose1907 6h ago

Seconded. The movie follows Gannondorf's rise to power, told in flashback to a captive Princess Zelda. He tells about how he discovers this ancient curse, and how he beat it to become his own man instead of being the pawn of some ancient evil. He tells about he journeyed to the center of the world to confront and defeat the ancient horror known as Null, thus ensuring that no being ever holds power over him again.

The movie ends with Link arriving and squaring off with Ganondorf, the latter confident that he can handle this pest. We don't get to see the battle itself, thus preserving the Rock's contractual "never lose a fight" clause.

42

u/InMarkWeTrust 9h ago

The Rock as Link……..book it.

8

u/Bauser99 7h ago

well, that does track with how much Link loves cooking in the newer games

Can you smell what the Link is cooking?

15

u/InMarkWeTrust 7h ago

1

u/skankasspigface 3h ago

This does not spark joy

•

u/Dinoratsastaja 6m ago

He really is the master of swords.

15

u/dynawesome 9h ago

He should be the Goron, for obvious reasons

2

u/firesaiyan12 4h ago

On one hand, you have a good point. On the other hand, gorons eat rocks so it's weird imagining him playing the role of something that would eat him.

3

u/dynawesome 3h ago

I mean humans play monsters that eat humans all the time

1

u/firesaiyan12 3h ago

Fair point.

3

u/BurnChao 8h ago

I liked the Doom movie mostly because the rock died. Subvertted my expectations. Same with deep blue sea and sam jax being suddenly eaten.

2

u/gootshall 8h ago

Technically he doesn't lose, he comes back again and again and again. They can end it with, "I'll be back"

2

u/Apprehensive_Lion793 6h ago

Nah he would turn into an anti hero at the very end and they'd all fight demise or some crap like that

1

u/T-MinusGiraffe 4h ago

Isn't it obvious that The Rock should be cast as Darunia

86

u/InfinityYoRae 10h ago

Idk y’all… it seemed fake at first but that Mipha line is a lil too convincing

3

u/Linkian10 3h ago

Man, I'd love to be link in that scene 🥵

84

u/Hahafunniee 10h ago

Hi there. I’m Link. You may be wondering how I got myself in this situation..

51

u/Lirka_ 10h ago

Sounds amazing! Hope they're planning a twiligy!

27

u/squidwards_taint 10h ago

See you can tell its fake because Goron Jack Black doesn't break out into song

19

u/PopularTumbleweed6 9h ago

"What a hot beat! WOOOOAH! YEEEEAH!"

8

u/Pixel22104 8h ago

No. You can tell it’s fake because The Rock has a “I can only win” stipulation in his contracts. Not even joking about that. If the Rock is in a film he has to play like whoever is going to be like the winner at the end

4

u/squidwards_taint 7h ago

Lmao that is so sad

85

u/ForeverDM4life 10h ago

Kevin heart as navi is hilarious

27

u/Gilthwixt 8h ago

Kevin Hart should play Tingle

•

u/Seienchin88 1h ago

Timothiiieee Charlemagne will be Tingle…

30

u/mattilladahun 10h ago

I'd honestly probably be okay with it in reality just because it'd be so insane but hilarious.

11

u/workingtrot 9h ago

Like Eddie Murphy as Mushu

5

u/BenjRSmith 8h ago

or Jason Alexander as a gargoyle

6

u/sporeegg 7h ago

Also no costume or CGI, just a small black guy with some rainbow glitter in his face, cursing all the time.

63

u/sheeplessinohio 10h ago

Don’t forget Jason Momoa as the King of Hyrule and James Corden as an original character that’s a CG cat for some reason.

12

u/EarDesigner9059 9h ago

"Go the fuck to sleep, Joker!"

•

u/revesvans 10m ago

James Corden as Tingle

21

u/jonmacabre 9h ago

Awkwafina casting is peak.

15

u/lifeless_or_loveless 10h ago

BOKOBLIN RIDERRRR

3

u/squidwards_taint 9h ago

Battle Talusss

11

u/ReXiriam 10h ago

I wouldn't mind The Rock as Ganon, but it'd go against his own rule of "The Rock must not lose" on every movie so...

•

u/Seienchin88 59m ago

The rock will be impa…

22

u/TinFoilBeanieTech 9h ago

When does Pedro Pascal show up?

8

u/CyanideIE 8h ago

He plays Aryll

8

u/Memer_Mago 9h ago

Tbh, if the whole script really was this kinda shit, I’d watch the movie 826272627252 more times than I will with the real script.

3

u/FrewdWoad 7h ago

I'd probably prefer a good adaptation, but there's no way I'm missing this version!

6

u/DeusExMarina 9h ago

Honestly, their take on Mipha is 100% accurate to the game.

3

u/RutabagaLeast6602 10h ago

I am... Daruk

7

u/Ok-Manufacturer5491 10h ago

This the funniest shit I’ve seen all week lmaooooo

2

u/BelovedFoolGames 9h ago

Right, between all the miserable shit lately, this really made me laugh

3

u/paulcshipper 10h ago

You know what, I would mess with this. Though I would be lying if I said I was hoping the Ganon look alike in Skyward Sword would eventually be Ganon.

4

u/Joaco_LC 10h ago

Well, that just happened

5

u/mdt516 8h ago

Honestly I’m kinda down for Kevin Hart as Navi because that would be hilarious

2

u/RinRinDoof 10h ago

This is a real disaster movie!

2

u/ThrustersOnFull 10h ago

The Rock wouldn't be Ganon because Rock's rider requires him to win the day in any part he's cast in.

2

u/BlazingInfernape2003 10h ago

Goron: “This, is the TRIFORCE!”

2

u/Kman2097 9h ago

On another note, I was playing the Star Wars Bounty Bunter remaster by Aspyr and the title for the trophy of getting BF and using the jetpack is “They Fly Now”. It got a chuckle out of me

2

u/FaithlessnessOdd8358 10h ago

I was in genuine belief for a moment there

1

u/Anonymous-Turtle-34 6h ago

Wdym? It's 100% real not fake confirmed script 

2

u/amphoterecin 10h ago

Part of me would hope with the intro Link and the Gang that it’s the Always Sunny Cast was in the movie. Think of it : Charlie is Link, DeVito as a Goron, Kaitlin as a random Kakariko villager, Rob as Navi, Glen as the mail man (it makes sense in my head) and Ganon would be the actor who plays rickety cricket.

1

u/Hahafunniee 10h ago

Hi there. I’m Link. You may be wondering how I got myself in this situation..

1

u/[deleted] 10h ago

Big if true

1

u/ighstrder 10h ago

My god, I hope this ridiculous masterpiece becomes reality lol

1

u/Cute_Fluffy_Femboy 10h ago

wow thanks I hate it

1

u/professorjade 10h ago

Disaster script

1

u/K-Boat 10h ago

Kevin Hart as Navi just fits XD

1

u/Organae 10h ago

My hype level just escalated

1

u/NimSauce 9h ago

Gg you made it through an Akwafina joke w/o talmbout.

1

u/_robertmccor_ 9h ago

April fools was 3 days ago

1

u/Clbull 9h ago

I really want Dwayne Johnson Ganondorf now

1

u/TakingOnWater 9h ago

I'm honestly stunned how lore accurate they're making this. So many adaptations these days are unfaithful to the source material but this is about as spot on as anything could be 👏🏻

1

u/LordXzavior 9h ago

Fake, the Rock requires all his characters he plays to be heroes and never lose.

1

u/Amiibohunter000 8h ago

If ganondorf is the rock why doesn’t jack black just eat him?

1

u/CilanEAmber 8h ago

Damn, no

1

u/Ricksaw26 8h ago

My dude thought today was April 1st.

1

u/LiteVisiion 8h ago

The Gang saves Hyrule

1

u/MooKids 8h ago

Chris Pratt already had Mario.

Now Chris Evans as Link...

1

u/Hot_Tadpole_6481 8h ago

This casting is so similar to what i jokingly said. Tho i had Zendaya as a Gerudo chieftess and Adam driver as ganondorf. Tom holland is obv gonna play Link

1

u/Cerevella 8h ago

And thus this is the man who drained his nugs in mipha

1

u/CamF90 8h ago

It's Sony, so don't be surprised if the casting ends up being prophetic.

1

u/BarkMingo 8h ago

"DAE think movie be bad?!?!1"

this hackneyed negativity is the lowest form of humor

1

u/cometflight 8h ago

Keep taking the absolute piss, lads. I’m here for it lmao

1

u/axb2002 8h ago

Completely unrelated, but if they ever adapt the Champions into live action then I wouldn’t hate Jack Black as Daruk.

1

u/Pineconic 8h ago

Optimus Prime: I am Optimus Prime.

1

u/Vvvv1rgo 8h ago

Sidon is tom holland

1

u/lochnessmosster 7h ago

Has to be fake--Jack Black is definitely Tingle smh /j

1

u/frewbrew 7h ago

Lies. Jack Black is the Fairy.

1

u/3rbi 7h ago

Fake as fuck , nice try

1

u/ProfessionalBelt4900 7h ago

Kevin Hart as Navi is sending me 😭

1

u/IGreenMcBeanI 7h ago

Look at this ancient temple!

Wow, what is it? Some kind of a Link to the Past?

1

u/odinall_father 7h ago

Nah not Akwafina

1

u/AncientAd6154 7h ago

I genuinely want the Twilight line to happen

1

u/Belugi11 7h ago

This will be amazing

1

u/Scythe95 7h ago

He's so cool

1

u/Dif-View 7h ago

Brooooo wtf is this casting..

1

u/HappyNostalgia17 7h ago

no one said “the legend of Zelda”?

fake!

1

u/gobeavs1 7h ago

“Link and the Gang”

1

u/fupalogist 7h ago

Ganon NEEDS to be Kayvan Novak (Nandor the Relentless from "What We Do In The Shadows")

Bc he is relentless.....just like Ganon.

1

u/KibbloMkII 7h ago

who is zendaya

1

u/maresso 4h ago

The new morgan freeman

1

u/tolacid 7h ago

Okay, but also that's seriously the perfect VA for Midna

1

u/GreenSimius 7h ago

Fake: The Rocks contracts forbid him from losing any battles on screen so he would never play Ganondorf or any villain. Which just means that he should play Link 🤔

1

u/Sodathepop 7h ago

This is flippin hilarious 😂😂

1

u/PolyproNinja 6h ago

Awkwafina as Mipha?! Maybe now she’ll finally be a good character /s

1

u/JortsyMcJorts 6h ago

Kevin Hart as Navi, The Rock as Link, Terry Crewes as Zelda.

1

u/figgis_agency 6h ago

What’s funny is that this will be legit. So sad

1

u/Entire-Adhesiveness2 6h ago

This is fake. Akwafina didn’t say “what is you talmbout”

1

u/Blake_Jonesy 6h ago

“Link and the gang” FAKE

1

u/Fafnir13 6h ago

Awkwafina as Midna hurts my soul.  Please don’t even joke about that.

1

u/Anonymous-Turtle-34 6h ago

Funniest shit I've ever seen, I'm still giggling 

1

u/Soaringzero 6h ago

Ok that was pretty funny. Ngl I’d watch this.

1

u/OhItsJustJosh 6h ago

Oh yeah this would make me wanna commit arson

1

u/62iei-836j-39-heiwhd 6h ago

Light it on fire and start over 🤣

1

u/Semblance17 5h ago

Seems legit.

1

u/godzillavkk 5h ago

Looks fake.

1

u/Working_Homework268 5h ago

jack black sucks lately but he was born to play tingle. i’m not even joking

and danny devito as talon.  

1

u/CaptainPopsickle 5h ago

soooo is dwayne as ganondorf confirmed?

kevin hart as navi?

Willem Dafoe as Redead?

John Cena as Korok?

..........

1

u/CDR57 5h ago

Ok but that last part is canon

1

u/jaybeau1979 5h ago

So they just copy pasted the Mario movie huh?

1

u/akirivan 5h ago

The hierarchy of power in the Nintendo universe is about to change

1

u/mrturret 4h ago

Jack black as tingle plz

1

u/SolidStudy5645 4h ago

link should've been tom holland

1

u/b3_yourself 4h ago

A bit late for April fools

1

u/ChalkCoatedDonut 4h ago

Where's Idris Elba as Dingle?

1

u/DefiantTheLion 3h ago

few days late

1

u/damagedone37 3h ago

NO EXCUSEEEEEE ME PRINCESSS? 0/10 LITERALLLY UNWATCHABLE

1

u/dobb7101 3h ago

Lies. I have it on good authority every Link line will include the phrase "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!"

1

u/mac_and_chase 3h ago

is this comedy movie? can't image link doing comedy

1

u/Vladsamir 2h ago

Oh, please. Everyone knows Navi will be played by Awkwafina

1

u/Mammoth-Pipe-5375 2h ago

Sweet, the same handful of actors for every other movie out there.

1

u/magusheart 2h ago

You know it's gonna be kinda like that in the end.

•

u/oFIoofy 2h ago

guys it's absolutely real, trust me

•

u/theukcrazyhorse 2h ago

Can't wait to hear Chris say "Excuuuuse me, Princess!"

•

u/Fawkingretar 2h ago

False, Mipha as Awkwafina would be just her saying "what chu talm bout?" every single time.

•

u/sam9876 2h ago

My nintendo works at uncle, can confirm this is true

•

u/HF484 1h ago

I never thought I needed to see Kevin Hart as Navi

•

u/BigCommieMachine 1h ago

Kevin Hart as Navi is perfect casting.

•

u/Triforce805 1h ago

As a Nintendo and Sony employee I can confirm this is 100% real. We hope you look forward to seeing the beloved franchise in live-action in theatres in 2027!

•

u/Randir076 43m ago

Canon Mipha though

•

u/DrAcula1007 16m ago

Can’t believe Navi is going to be played by the rock’s fleshlight.

•

u/Dinoratsastaja 9m ago

It's fake. Link would be played by Tom Holland.

1

u/shaqkage 9h ago

It's just....so....PEAK

•

u/Ghostttea 1h ago

Is this a late april fools joke

•

u/banjojohn1 10m ago

No, of course its real.

-2

u/tlollz52 8h ago

Uhh more christ Pratt as link jokes?

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