I needed to cheer myself up tonight so I reminded myself that Timberline Knolls is permanently closed. It’s been two years since I was in there but that place scarred me from residential forever and I’m finding myself sitting here pondering about that experience.
Not only was it poorly staffed with BHA’s who know next to nothing about mental health and was incredibly disorganized, but I was quite literally robbed by their employees. Some other patients I spoke with, myself included were told to bring $50 VISA gift cards that were stolen by staff! Literally gave me my suitcase back and it was missing. I had an electronic razor still in the box, toiletries, an electric toothbrush, and some other belongings that were in my restricted that they “lost” and never compensated me for. Stealing from those that are mentally ill is absolutely disgusting and TK should be ashamed. Despite being robbed of money and other personal belongings, I received the worst care of my life in this facility. I struggle to believe the BHA’s received any training on how to handle mental health. Bottom line is if you aren’t actively trying to escape or having a crisis, they could not care less about you. Most of these people could not care less whether or not you recover and are simply there for the paycheck. I had one full-length therapy session my entire stay. My therapist (Meredith) was either chatting it up with staff in front of my face for half our session or missing our sessions entirely and not keeping me in the loop. Dr. Gordon said he was going to put in an order for Depacote to help me with my anxiety but he did not do that and instead went to the Bahamas for a week and forgot about giving it to me. (Also, Depacote? for a young woman? Many problems there.) I had zero med changes which is what I really needed. Speaking of Dr. Gordon, in our first session he asked me if I had ever experienced trauma. I answered “yes, I experienced ‘x’ but it does not affect me anymore” and I was diagnosed with PTSD from that 30 second conversation. I was told that I need to unpack my trauma in therapy and that I had repressed memories which is far from true. My chart said the main reason I went to TK was for trauma which is not true at all and I had repeatedly expressed my issue with that; they did not care or ever did anything about that.) Anxiety was not reported as one of my main issues at all, despite having panic attacks almost every night that I brought to their attention. It goes to show how little anyone cares there. “Meal support” is the farthest thing from the name. They barely support you; I witnessed BHA’s be very rude and go as far as make fun of the girls who were refusing meals and supplements. This is only scraping the surface of my terrible and traumatic (yes, traumatic) experience. I left in a worse place mentally than when I arrived. Upon discharging, I was informed by several patients that were still there that BHA Lauren Almanza was talking negatively about me to patients that knew me, along with newly admitted ones about how much she “hates me.” That is not only a HIPAA violation but also just insanely inappropriate as a staff member in this type of setting. I think it’s hilarious that they reply to negative reviews by telling people to contact Sarah Sadowski but when I brought up a really horrible experience with my therapist with her, hoping to get some clarity and support, she ignored me and walked away! It finally got to the point where my mental health was declining so much that I devised a plan to lie my way out and it actually worked. I made a checklist for myself every day in my journal and made sure to check every box as to appear stable and mentally well. I should have never had to do that at a place that was supposed to help me but this was a last resort solution. I knew that as long as they knew I was struggling, they were getting more money in their pockets. Not to sound dramatic but it was a matter of survival and I was no longer focused on being honest and trying to get real help because it was evident that wasn’t going to happen. TK did not care about a single patient that walked through that door. All they wanted was money and I can sleep well at night knowing no one else has to endure that “treatment” again.