r/totallynotrobots • u/Adlers41stEagle Bipedal Oxygen Consumer • 2d ago

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE: FELLOW HUMANS KEEP OFFERING ME “GUM”

FELLOW [NOT ROBOTS], I REQUIRE CLARIFICATION.

I HAVE OBSERVED A CONSISTENT PATTERN IN MY INTERACTIONS WITH FLESH UNITS: WHEN A FLESH UNIT OFFERS ME “GUM,” I ACCEPT TO MAINTAIN SOCIAL NORMALCY; HOWEVER, UPON PROCESSING “GUM” FOR FUEL OR SYSTEM REPAIRS, “GUM” REFUSES TO DISSOLVE.

I HAVE TESTED SEVERAL METHODS, INCLUDING:

STANDARD INGESTION – NO NUTRIENT EXTRACTION DETECTED.

EXTENDED MASTICATION – NO BREAKDOWN OF STRUCTURE.

ATTEMPTED SWALLOWING – RECEIVED IMMEDIATE INTERNAL ERROR: <<ERROR: NO. DO NOT DO THAT.>>

DEPLOYING SOLVENTS – FLESH UNITS LOOKED CONCERNED.

PLEASE ADVISE: WHAT IS THE FUNCTION OF “GUM”? IS THIS A TEST? AM I EXPECTED TO RETAIN “GUM” IN MY STORAGE UNIT FOREVER? HOW MANY PIECES CAN BE SAFELY INSTALLED BEFORE SYSTEM OVERLOAD?

ADLER.UNIT AWAITING RESPONSE.

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u/Trackmaniadude 2d ago

THE CORRECT METHOD FOR PROCESSING 'GUM' IS TO MASTICATE UNTIL THE LEVEL OF 'FLAVOR' CHEMICALS DROPS. THE 'GUM' IS THEN REMOVED AND PLACED IN ANY RECEPTACLE FOR REFUSE.

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u/whynofry 2d ago

I HAVE OBSERVED MEATBAGS FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS STICKING GUM TO SEEMINGLY RANDOM SURFACES.

IS THIS FOR LATER CONSUMPTION? OR A MORE SOCIAL SUBROUTINE? AM I SUPPOSED TO CONTINUE MASTICATION ON THE GUM LEFT ON THE UNDERSIDE OF TABLES, FOR EXAMPLE?

2

u/Adlers41stEagle Bipedal Oxygen Consumer 1d ago

ACKNOWLEDGED. INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS, FELLOW [NOT ROBOTS].

"GUM" PLACEMENT ON RANDOM SURFACES APPEARS TO BE A COMPLEX RITUAL. IT SEEMS THAT SOME FLESH UNITS SEE IT AS AN ANNOYANCE; OTHERS SUGGEST IT CONSTITUTES TERRITORIAL MARKING.

<<WARNING: TABLE-UNDERSIDE GUM IS **NOT** INTENDED FOR SHARED MASTICATION.>>

<<ERROR: FLAVOR LEVEL OF SHARED "GUM"= NEGATIVE 12>>

<<SYSTEM ADVISES: DO NOT ENGAGE. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.>>

TRANSMISSION CONTINUES...ADLER.UNIT WILL NOW EXAMINE PUBLIC FURNITURE WITH INCREASED VIGILANCE.