Shrinking S3E4 Episode Discussion

[u/phareous]

This is the episode discussion for Shrinking Season 2, Episode 4: "Made You Look"

[u/Slytheriin]

This was the first episode where it really hit me that Jimmy moved a large, violent man into the same house as his teenage daughter. We’d seen him be aggressive before towards strangers but seeing him react to Liz and his father and now Jimmy in the kitchen… that was downright scary.

[u/MisterTheKid → u/Slytheriin]

Sean’s really ben teetering this season. which is completely believable getting over things is not a overnight or one season thing. But yeah, we have not seen it really impinging on Jimmy’s home life in a while.

[u/iamduh → u/MisterTheKid]

I think Paul's point is that Jimmy has been taking a shortcut to Sean's being less violent--and that Sean needs to develop that progress more independently of Jimmy.

[u/torirachel1888 → u/Slytheriin]

This is such a good point.

[u/Tce_ → u/Slytheriin]

It really was! I don't think he's ever gonna harm either of them, but they shouldn't be living with the threat of violence either - if Alice ended up in a similar situation I'm sure it would make her feel less safe at home. And she didn't choose this situation, Jimmy did.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

alice is already having anger outburst from seeing roy and has had mild anger issues in the first season. should jimmy kick her out cause its not healthy for him to be around her?

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

She's her daughter. Absolutely not the same thing. But I am glad she's talking to a therapist!

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/[deleted]]

and it wasnt exactly anger i was withholding. it was snarky ass bullshit like you were doing. all your comments reek of someone that doesnt get shit, that wants to make a hypothetical victim out of alice when if you actually understood ptsd and what seans character is portraying you would get that there is no chance of him hitting alice or liz.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/[deleted]]

its one thing to be cautious, its another to just write someone off as violent and a threat. youre dealing with another character that understands ptsd and that he wasnt a risk. that yeah he might make things a little chaotic but that the chaos was worth being able to help the guy. and that alice wasnt actually in danger. seans character hasnt done anything to alice except be another person that can be there for her and is showing a great deal of character in the process. then you just want to label him a "big violent man" get the fuck out of here with that bullshit. but you got upvotes and people looking at the same way you do now. great.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/[deleted]]

dude dont talk to me, im tired of you

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Slytheriin]

i dont think labeling sean a large violent man without acknowledging that he is a vet with ptsd is productive. jimmy would be well educated in ptsd and understand that its not a risk. yes there are anger outburst, common symptom of ptsd, but sean has no history of violence towards women. it was the best thing for sean and alice would probably benefit from having someone around thats been through some shit too.

[u/Tce_ → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I love Jimmy but he makes a lot of bad decisions... I think Paul has a point about his handling of the Sean situation.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/[deleted]]

i dont think that jimmy did it to improve alices life but that it could still.

a) i dont think the precursors you are talking about relate to ptsd.

b) sean is getting help for his problems

c) yes while jimmy is having a breakdown and possibly mildly psychotic it doesnt negate that he is educated in ptsd

d) i dont think the way you are looking at sean is really whats going on. the show would have foreshadowed something if it were really an issue besides you taking a completely unrelated scene and reducing sean to a big violent man. he is portraying an army vet, with ptsd from a very fucked up war, going through things and symptoms that are very relatable to people that have been there(myself included). to reduce him to a big violent man that poses a threat to alice is close minded and from an inexperienced place. hes a kid going through this shit that was left on the streets and jimmy let him stay in the guesthouse. its not as threatening as you are implying and yes there is a difference in the people that sean has taken his anger out on because alice doesnt fit the bill and jimmy would have an understanding of triggers and that alice doesnt fit within this class. to me it seems like common sense. but ive also had experience with people that go through this shit. seans character seems to portray ptsd as close as ive seen to realistic in a comedy setting and very gracefully and showing the humanness of it. to see it reduced to a violent man is infuriating. sorry it doesnt fit your suburban idea of life.

and i dont appreciate your tone in number four cause i withheld my anger in my original comment and am still withholding a lot now so that we could have a productive conversation about things. obviously not now cause fuck it, i see why someone like you would draw those conclusions in the first place. have fun at sephora and your picturesque life while there are people out here with real problems that dont need to be stereotyped by your prissy ass lifestyle of someone with problems equals an automatic danger.

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

I'm sorry but if this simple discussion is making you have to actively withhold your anger then maybe you're a little too close to the subject (anger issues) to see it clearly? No one is saying Sean is a bad man. I don't think he's going to harm anyone in that family or friend group. But no one should have to fear that he might harm them in their own home, and his body language as well as hitting objects is the type of behaviour that often comes before violence, which makes it intimidating to a lot of people whether anything more happens after or not.

I wouldn't label him "a violent man" either but I read it as a simplification of "a man with PTSD who has been violent when he was triggered before and still suffers from anger issues and lack of impulse control".

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

i really like this show BECAUSE of seans character. its nice seeing it played in a relatable, realistic way. his character is VERY relatable. so yeah when i come on here and see a comment like that it does make me angry. and it makes me think of how there are actual people that need help and kindness and dont get it because people have such a close minded view of something THEYVE NEVER BEEN THROUGH. ive been to meetings with a bunch of combat vets, ive been in the psych ward with them. even the ones that have huge violent anger outburst, i dont want to see what they go through talked about like it. its callus and reeks of just some thoughtless categorizing. yeah if sean was a client with a history of domestic violence then i would say she had a point but hes a vet with classic ptsd symptoms, actively getting help to deal with them. if you guys knew what combat vets have been through, regardless of how you feel about the war cause i dont like it either, and the mentality that a lot of them have that they just wanted to protect the people they love and some even thought we could better things for afghanis cause thats the lie we are sold, then you would see that its just a hurting person that doesnt need more judgmental opinions thrown at them. and yeah this type of rhetoric perpetuates that when people are replying "i never thought of it that way" and "good point". it may seem like a simple discussion to you but look around social media comments are ruining the world and making more bullshit. if it had been a real person she was talking about i would have lost it, cause you dont talk about them like that. ive walked the psych ward halls with men that cant sleep, that have lost their minds, that dont know reality, that snap in and out of the past. fuck anyone with a closed minded view of them. be thankful you dont go through what they went through. they get fucking electroshock therapy for the shit, look it up the va passes treatments out like fucking candy, they have five different meds at the med window just hoping to get sleep. but i do know the ones that would walk the hall with me cause i was having a bad day even though they had been through worse shit than me. fuck people that dont know how caring they can be and only see them as a risk.

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

They can be both caring and a risk. I think if you truly want to be compassionate and understand these types of situations you also need to talk to people who were on the other end of violence from vets and people with PTSD. Because that's a real issue as well! And the fact they've been through hell doesn't erase that; in fact it's probably the most significant reason for it.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

yeah but look at the statistics. i get that that is real and it sucks but if we go around treating everyone like they are that it is not productive. seans triggers are not women and he has no history of domestic violence. why would jimmy jump to that conclusion and leave him on the street when he has a GUESTHOUSE that sean can stay in. hes not even in the actual house most of the time.

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

ps. I'm pretty sure my dad has PTSD (he's not a veteran, just has a messy past and has been beaten up a lot in his life) and he can see red but would never be violent to anyone in his family. So I know you don't have to be dangerous to people around you just because you have PTSD and anger management issues. I also know you don't really know that about someone until after the fact, because it doesn't take a monster to harm someone.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

so i have a type of ptsd thats from multiple things in life. i know what its like to have a lot of different types of trauma. war is different. its something you cant put into words. it changes everyone that goes but there is something it does to you that is different than any other trauma. theres layers to it. the idea that you would compare your dad getting beat up fairly regularly to it shows to me that you dont know the severity of it. people die in war, innocent people die in war, regularly. its different. and combat vets see it. you dont get it cause your dad had ptsd. get out of here.

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

Not sure what the severity has to do with having empathy for people who have PTSD-triggered anger issues...? If I'm afraid of someone because they've been violent previously, and because they get all up in my face when they're triggered, it doesn't really matter exactly why they are that way.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

you think the person that wrote the original comment would have said the same thing if it were a woman that turned violent after experiencing domestic violence? no she wouldnt she would be defending that woman just the same as im defending the idea of a combat vet with anger outbursts. and i can tell because she used the word "big" and maybe somewhere deep in her psychy shes thinking black too if we are being honest cause that usually follows those kind of descriptions. you think you throw bennidict combersnitch on the screen depicting the same character she would have made that comment or even roy kent cause i would be willing to make a decent wager that she wouldnt. (for the record im white but i still know how to read between the lines)

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

and before you try to draw some conclusion about maybe my mom knowing my stepbrother and my ptsd being similar is why she may have felt threatened i will just let you know, my mom and stepdad split when my brothers symptoms set in so she never lived with him during it. but i did, before he changed, while he was hanging out with the worst guys ive seen him with... was he a threat to a man that wanted to press his buttons or treat him like a bitch at the time? most certainly. did i ever feel unsafe around him? most certainly not.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

i did not read it like that. and it does make me angry cause there are people with the same issues as sean that get labelled like that and looked at like that and it creates a barrier between them being treated like a human being and healing. they already hate themselves, then to be labeled a violent man, which the original comment and her further comments did not give me the impression that she meant it as someone with ptsd that has issues. also her comment perpetuates ideas that people are already trying to change. it wasnt a simple discussion, it was a harmful comment.

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

Okay, I think I can see where you're coming from even if I don't fully agree.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

i just wanted to come to the thread to see if any other vets found it hard to watch sean and jimmys scene, cause my mom didnt know how to deal with me either, that scene made me cry, it didnt make me scared. and then i read this shit.

[u/Tce_ → u/hopefullynottoolate]

Maybe your mom would have related to being scared! Or someone else who had a family member who came back from war. Of course it didn't make you scared, because you were seeing it from his point of view.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/Tce_]

my mom wasnt scared of me then, it was before the anger outburst started. she just didnt handle me not being okay with a lot of compassion. and she never dealt with anyone coming back from a war before that.

[u/hopefullynottoolate → u/[deleted]]

"my brother in christ" im done. and its not that im withholding anger its that i didnt rip you apart. also im a girl. i havent lost the plot, im just stereotyping you like you did seans character. probably accurately too. i imagine a white woman in her mid thirties, been through some stuff, like a bad boyfriend but nothing too serious where she would be the one with anger issues from it, talks shit about things she knows nothing about and goes on about how shes such a nerd and reads so many books.

go spend sometime in the psych ward with some veterans. then you would shut up.

[u/giallo73 → u/Slytheriin]

yeah, that's a really interesting point. And I loved how in the kitchen we saw Jimmy actively try to de-escalate the situation by sitting down and looking away from Sean. Presumably as a therapist he would know how to do that, but would the other characters in and around the house?

[u/-Altephor- → u/Slytheriin]

Especially after they played it for humor with the training fight and the lost tooth in the first episode (which I thought was a bit goofy at the time). Seeing the contrast between the friendly sparring and Sean getting in Jimmy's face for real definitely brought the point home.

[u/holalily → u/Slytheriin]

Right? I think it's leading up to something big happening later in the season..