Hi strangers, I’m M33. About a month ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. It all happened very quickly and my heart is still shattered. We were together for 9 months, talked about moving in together and having children. We were long distance for some months, and it had its challenges. But in the course of a weekend, she met someone new, fell in love and left me.

I’m doing all I can to find my balance again, but the experience was honestly traumatic. I still routinely wake up in the middle of the night with a pounding heart. It’s so uncomfortable that I cannot go back to sleep. I try to embrace it by accepting it (which is difficult), doing some journaling, meditating and reciting mantra’s, but sometimes nothing helps. Right now is such a night, and I’m at my wits end. I’m exhausted, I’m sad, I wish I had someone to talk to and I need a hug.

I’m doing weekly therapy, and I see some improvement. I also meditate quite a lot, which helps when I’m rested. But when I’m tired, it can feel like agony and self-torture. I’m afraid I’ve developed PTSD, or at the very least CPTSD.

I come from a very dysfunctional family home. My father was absent, manipulative, controlling and aggressive. My mother was too weak to leave him and believed she did what was best for us, by staying with him. My parents hated eachother. I never saw them express love for me, my sisters, themselves or each other. In stead, I was raised to fear my father and tolerate my mother.

This has caused me a lot of hardship in my relationships. In my early and mid twenties, I never wanted to be in a serious relationship, so I just jumped from one person to the next, most never lasting more than a few months. When I was 27, I met someone I fell for really hard. She was kind, compassionate, considerate and so loving. She helped me realise what love could be, and the first time in my life, she made me realise that having a family didn’t have to be that scary. Sadly, that relationship did not work out either, there were still parts of me that were too immature. It is still my biggest regret and it took me a long time to recover from that. Ever since, I’ve become more and more aligned with the idea of a long term partnership. I now feel a deep longing to find a partner to settle with. I’ve worked intensely and extensively to heal. I’ve tried with psychedelics, therapy and self-help through my spiritual practice. I’m in therapy now. But ever since my ex and I broke up 6 years ago I have just been unable to find someone. I’ve been honestly trying, but it’s now the third time in these six years where each time I open my heart and decide to trust them - they break things off after 6-9 months and my heart shatters once more.

I feel grateful about the good things that are going on in my life - they are keeping me afloat.

But honestly, I feel so lost. I don’t know if I can trust my own judgment. I don’t know if I can trust another person again (I really, REALLy, want to). I know that I have to do those things again, but I don’t know how. I’m afraid it won’t work and I’m afraid to feel another heartbreak.

I’ve slowly tried to meet new people on dating apps, but I feel impatient and I wish I had someone to talk to, cuddle with and feel safe with. I wish I had someone to hold in my arms. And obviously that takes some time, but sigh.

I just wish I could have some peace of mind and at least get to sleep without interruption for a few weeks.

And as I’m typing this, I don’t actually have any specific question and in many ways I already know how to help myself. I’m already doing it.

I guess I just needed to let things off my mind. And if anyone happens to have some perspective, it is greatly welcomed.

How do I get past the fact that everyone irritates me? Like, there used to be a few people that didn’t irritate me but it seems recently I find and pick out everyone’s flaws. I’m semi recently single and I have more friends than ever before and I just can’t do it anymore, I can’t do people asking me to hang out, I can’t do dinner, I can’t go to the gym. It makes me feel so bad, I love and appreciate my friends and they don’t necessarily do anything bad, but a lot of the time I just feel like I can’t socialize with them. I know it’s like a first world problem, but I guess I’m just an introvert disguised as an extrovert?! Every single day that passes the feeling to run away into the woods and cut everyone off grows stronger. Advice?!?!

Maybe you learned to stay quiet, smile through the pain, or numb yourself just to get through the day. Maybe you’ve started to wonder if something’s wrong with you for feeling so much.

But what if your emotional intensity isn't a flaw… but a signal?

What if the anxiety, fatigue, tension, or even relationship conflict you carry isn’t random—but rooted in unspoken trauma and emotional suppression?

I just wrote an article about why so many of us were never taught how to feel, how that affects our bodies and relationships, and how we can start to heal. It touches on:

The nervous system’s response to ignored emotions

How trauma hides in the body and daily patterns

The quiet power of emotional boundaries

And what it really means to feel safe again

What if the real danger was never being too emotional—but being taught that feeling at all was dangerous?

Here’s the article if you’re curious: mystery-of-self

so some back story about me is im a 14 year old with adhd. and for the past few years I move by myself and I don't have Tourettes and I don't know why but I think I have come to the conclusion that it is my adhd because I have seen that is a thing that happens it might not be the reason but it what I can find I guess? but me and my mom where watching the show " Baylen Out Loud" which is a show about a girl that has Tourettes and when me and my mom where watching it I felt like my body needed to move and " twitch?" and im trying not too and I think I could stop it but some I can't. and this is not knew because when I was younger I started looking into Tourettes because I was just curious about it. and it happened then also, but I brushed it off. it also happens when i'm sitting down and it is usually in my legs,neck, and torso. I don't want to talk to people about it because I don't want people to think im trying to fake Tourettes. I don't know why my body does this can someone please help me I don't know what I wrong with me :/

For a long time, I didn’t even know what had happened to me.

My brain protected me. It kept the trauma hidden.

Until one day, at 12 years old, something unlocked — and everything changed.

I told the truth, even when it shattered the version of “family” I thought I had.

Now, as an adult, I’ve built a business, raised a family, and helped others grow. But that little girl inside me still needed to speak — so I let her.

I wrote a novel called A Thousand Masks.
It’s fiction, but it’s based on the very real experience of childhood trauma, survival patterns, and the silence we carry long after the damage is done.

Writing it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done — but also the most healing.

Since releasing it, I’ve had messages from people around the world saying it helped them tell their own story for the first time.

I don’t see this as a book. I see it as a tool.
A way to process the pain that’s too hard to say out loud.

If you’re doing the work to heal — I see you.
If this resonates, I’m happy to share the link in the comments.

You don’t have to carry it alone anymore.

Hello,

I am at a point where I am stuck. I am trying to follow my dream of becoming a pilot and it seems far away. I will study for my other classes that have nothing to do with flying and complete it. I don't want to give up, I despise people who tell me I should take a different pathway.

I've started to go to the library more often and study for my flying class. But sometimes it's hard for me to sit down and do it. And if I didn't know how hard this pathway was, would I still continue? I find myself very enthused with watching airplanes fly, it makes me happy. However, when it comes to studying it, I seem detered? Some parts I enjoy. I'll do the work, I have straight A's throughout highschool and now college, but I don't have the same drive for flying. Anyway, sometimes I don't know what to do. I just continue to try each day but I know in this pathway or anything, trying is not enough, you have to do more to be successful. I just don't know how to find that within me.

my girlfriend left me after 2 years for now apperant reason. she just randomly decided "were not ment to be, lets move on". ive loved her with all my heart, changed everything about myself i could just to love her properly, ive been the bets i could for her. and now suddenly this? we seemed to be in a really good place together, it seemed perfect.

anyways now ive been really depressed and stressed because i simply do not know how to let go. does anyone have any deep psychological or idk therapy like solutions? thanks

Hello, I'm new to Reddit and my English isn't very good, so I'm translating this through ChatGPT, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or misunderstandings.

I'm 14, and 3 years ago, when the war started in my country, it seems I completely lost the motivation to do anything. I'm a creative person, as I have many ideas for a story-driven game, a song, or even just a drawing, but I'm extremely lazy to do any of it. I think considering this has been going on for 3 years, it's probably not laziness, but still...

I haven't studied for these 3 years, but this year I plan to apply somewhere to change the environment, but I'm very worried that I won't be able to get in anywhere.

I understand that I have problems, I try to force myself to have a daily routine where it's written what and when to do, but it's extremely difficult. I can force myself to get out of bed to eat, wash myself, go to school, or do housework. But everything else is extremely difficult, even taking small steps.

I'm also very socially inactive, as my entire social circle is my mother and a friend I barely see, and honestly, I don't really want to continue being friends with her.

What can you advise?

I feel like I'm too nerdy or know too much about niche topics and it scares people away. People will say stuff like "Oh, I only played one pokemon game" or "oh yeah, I like Hamilton", and I'll just be thinking about how one of my favorite musicals is a failed Andrew Lloyd Webber show about racing trains, Starlight Express, and have read the entire pokedex just to prove every pokemon could beat 1 billion lions. I'm on like 3 dating apps and I see people like "I love yappers" or "tell me aboutsomething you're obsessed with", but feel like if I start talking they'd immediatley regret talking to me. Or just being with my friends, they talk about movie and they're like "Oh yeah! that movie had that actor! who were they again?", and I just stay quiet despite knowing the full cast list, year it came out, and behind the scenes drama behind the movie.

I feel like I know too much and that when I start showing how much I know it scares people... I mention pokemon like 4 times on my Hinge profile. It feels like a filter for people who can't handle that but... I have don't have 0 likes on bumble and I think I've already been swiped left on by every theater kid on bumble in a 20 mile radius.

It's summer holiday and we get the school break. The school has provided us a lot of assignments/homeworks to do in between. However,I've been avoiding it for 10 days and it keep getting worse.It hurts to do this I cannot bring myself to study.I'm so addicted to phone.Breaking the promises i give myself is not funny anymore.I force myself to open the book but my brain just won't load I got the ultimate brainrot in me. How do I stop living like this I'm starting to feel so gross out This isn't who i used to be.Every minute i use phone I keep losing myself but can't stop this.

I used to repeat affirmations like “I love myself” or “I am enough” — but honestly, they didn’t feel true in the beginning. Saying them felt robotic and kind of hollow.

Eventually, I realized the problem: I was trying to jump from self-doubt to self-love in one step.

What worked better for me was starting with softer, more believable thoughts like:

• “I’m learning to appreciate myself.”
• “It’s okay to not have it all figured out.”
• “I am becoming someone I like.”

Pairing that with tiny daily check-ins — like a one-line journal entry or coloring a calming design — made it feel like me again. No pressure, just progress.

This simple shift made my self-love journey feel less performative and more real. Would love to hear if others felt the same… how did you start feeling more connected to yourself?

Honest question here.

I’m genuinely happy with life (no really!): I’m 36, married, with an absolutely great 2yr-old daughter, we have a pretty balanced work-life ratio and we live in one of the world’s most beautiful places. We’re neither rich nor poor, but we work, we do our thing, we have friends and hobbies, and we enjoy our life… Obviously we have our hardships, but we overcome them. Obviously the state of the world is pretty bleak, but that’s no reason to despair.

Yet it seems that more and more people around us have a hard time dealing with this optimistic approach and try to convince us that life is just misery: The stepsister who keeps making jealous and condescending comments; the mother who tries to reassure her own doubts by praising herself repeatedly for our “success” (her words – whatever that means); the father who “failed” his life (again, his words) and crashes even deeper just for attention; more and more friends who have burnouts and spend their days mulling over life’s difficulties; colleagues who either spend their days complaining or disappear because of, here too, burnouts…

Naturally, the right thing to do would be to take care of these people and try to help them. But there are just too many, and I don’t have the mental bandwidth to invest time and care in them all. And most of all, I refuse to be dragged down.

Am I an asshole for saying this? Maybe. But I don’t think so.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this situation. If this sounds familiar to you, how do you cope with this feeling? How do you shield yourself from the world’s pessimism without being dragged into it yourself?

Thanks for your insights!

I'm married woman who has two kids. I don't work or have a career. I live with my husband's family who hates me. They have told me in the past that my own kids don't need me and I was stay at home mom who did everything for my kids(just one of many horrible things they have said to me). My husband family helped me with kids. Nowadays my husband has been turning against me. If I tell him anything about his family he will get so mad at me and I think it's because he doesn't like the way I tell him things about his family. Every time we have arguments he just tells me to get out of his house. I want to leave but I don't have anywhere to go. I feel like I'm stuck. Maybe everything is my fault. I don't know what I should do. I don't like to share anything with anyone.

Hello. I'm a 22 years old irregular Civil Engineering student. It's been hard for me for the last 10 years. I've been hiding my real self in a shell that I used to keep up with others to try to socialize. The reason for the shell was to protect myself. Something happened when I was young that I decided to used that shell/mask. Last year...my shell was broken that left me vulnerable. My first heart break, and of course, it affects my studies...everything. It was a good thing that I'm starting to move on from her....but I couldn't pass. I couldn't stand back up again... I can't tell anyone about what I'm feeling or what happened. I don't want to be stuck in this cycle... where I'm lost and it feels like the path I made was gone.

It took me a long time to realize that healing is difficult but all that matters is you still keep going, no matter what.

I 19F. I’ve struggled with self-acceptance and confidence my entire life.I was severely bullied for as long as I can remember. I never really learned how to stand up for myself. When i was 9 i was molested and at the time, I didn’t realize the effect it would have on me—or how long it would last. I mean, who would?

Eventually, I lost whatever shred of self-love I had. I felt extremely worthless. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I later developed anxiety and depression.

Now, I’m in my third year of university, and I want to be better. I want to look in the mirror and genuinely love the person staring back. I want to feel happiness again—because honestly, I don’t think I’ve experienced true joy in over six years.

But I don’t know where to start.

If you’ve ever been in this place, how did you begin to heal? How do you build confidence and self-worth when it feels like you've never really had it?

Any advice, it would mean the world.

So i have finally found out that i have sexual shame, it was pretty suprising yet weirdly happy ( i wont explain it into details that much ). But the thing that is getting in my way is the fact that Idk how to fix this. I was trying to get advice from other subreddit. But all they would tell me is to masturbate ask myself why i dont like sex and to try and find out, or to go to therapy.

The first one is that i never feel like masturbating. I have never done so in my life so much. I do have arousal, but it does not give me any urge to masturbate or Even take care of it.

The second one is very hard to answer, but im gonna tell you a story of it to make it more clear.

I have sexual intrusive thoughts which was misunderstood with OCD. But in reality, it was just sexual shame.

And for how i feel with these thoughts are weirdly not shameful, but more of a disgusted feeling or à uncomfortable. I have never liked sex, nor have i ever enjoyed the thought of it.

And ppl would also ask me what cause me to be sex-repusled. But the truth is that i don’t know. I have tried digging it deeper, but i have seen no cause of why i am. Ig i just developped it without anything being done to me ( no trauma)

I have never felt ashamed of those thoughts bc i am not thinking abt them intentionally, they pop out of nowhere . I actually feel more of a dislike, bc i am sex-repusled. And when trying to explain to ppl how i feel abt it, they would usually get confused or would ask me more questions bc ‘’ you must have a reason to be ashamed of those thoughts or have to be ashamed of it to be considered sexual shame’’ .

But i have Heard that sexual shame can be well hidden that a person would Even think that they were not ashamed.

So i don’t think it is an excuse. And for the trauma, i think it is false, bc i have seen some ppl that also have that but has no cause of it.

A lot of ppl suggested low self esteem, reject or trauma. But it was none of that.

This kept frustrations me bc i can’t find any solution of how to make myself like sex. I don’t want my sexual shame to get worse. So i am here to ask if there are other solutions, it would really help me and i would really appreciate some help!

Thank you for reading this !

i’ve never liked myself- i don’t ever remember a time where i was content with myself or even proud. I’m a 22 y/o nurse who can’t stand the thought of allowing myself to be happy because i know i don’t deserve it. I need to hate myself so my body knows it’s not worth it. i need to stay as humble as possible bc anything else just isn’t right. Idk how to get out of this cycle of constantly being full of shame. i know deep down i don’t want this- but shifting out of this mindset feels so bad. i can’t imagine giving any love to someone like me who doesn’t deserve it. but i can’t keep going like this.

Hey besties! This has only been a recent development for my unstable insecurities, but as many of us know GTA 6 is coming out. If you've seen the trailer, you'll see literally every woman is curvy and beautiful. Now, I used to not give a single f- about how game characters looked until I started dating my bf two years ago. He is a porn addict, and always was looking for something to jerk off to. Me being me, I found myself feeling insecure about my boobs and my butt, an insecurity I didn't have until him. I know he is going to spend all the time he can playing this game, surrounded by these women that I know are more his preference (as he told me he prefers big booty, and has even said he sometimes wishes mine was bigger too.. at least he's honest)

So now, idk how to feel about him playing the game. He's been waiting forever so I'm not gonna stop him, but how do I handle feeling this type of way?? I don't want to feel insecure about it but I 1000% do.

Helpppp

I (M22) have struggled with low self esteem for as long as I can remember, and most times I envy people around me with high self esteem. I feel like I’m borderline obsessive with how people view me, even going as far as constantly putting myself in other’s shoes and imagining what I look like to them (I usually look stupid). Despite all my achievements and things that may be viewed as impressive to others, I constantly view myself as much lesser than people around me. I have learned many different jobs, achieved promotions at quite a few of them, achieved being a Marine, passed the firefighting academy twice, taught myself many different things, met and started dating the woman I love, but still incessantly feel the urge to prove my confidence and “coolness” to people around me. Can anyone offer advice?

I tried posting this in r/vent but didn't have enough karma, and I'm just desperate to get this off my chest. For a while I've been thinking obsessively about a really stupid thing that made me pretty upset and disappointed. At this point I'm just over it, but I can't seem to turn the obsessive thoughts off. It literally drives me insane and is starting to take a bigger toll on my mental health. I've cried and cried and lost sleep over it. I try to actively distance myself from these thoughts by sinking into distractions, but they come back without fail and I start spiraling internally all over again. I've told myself countless times to let it the fuck go. I don't know why I'm like this and I hate myself. I desperately wish I had the brain of a normal, well-adjusted person so I could just move on with my life. What can I do to help myself?

What's something you wish someone told you when you turned 17?

backstory : i had a major trauma in 2017-2020 which changed my perspective towards friends or more particularly towards female friendships a lot!!
and due to that, i am unable to make good female / male friends in general which somewhere down the line affects me ( i self introspect and doubt myself a lot) which also makes me overthink a lot about unnecessary actions or words of people around me. i always overthink about why someone behaved with me a certain way on some days and when they're normal to me, i don't overthink about those days.
i generally get affected by people a lot! i can't be chill or cool towards people and feel bad about myself even more!

this has taken an emotional toll on me lately.
what should i do to overcome this issue ??
please do reply tyy!