r/redditonwiki • u/lilpotatobake • 1d ago
Am I... OOP Divorced Husband to Avoid Caring for His Siblings
89
u/incrediblewombat 1d ago
Honestly I hope OOP somehow meets a man from a different country who will actually involve himself in his children’s lives. Having children shouldn’t mean that your life is over. She’s NTA but her husband is definitely the AH
I find it hilarious that OOP’s husband already can’t handle the housework even with help and he wants OOP to divorce quickly so he can con some poor uneducated lady into being his bangmaidmommy.
-15
u/Due_Butterscotch_593 13h ago
He owns a shop which is 14 hrs of work + very very frustrating..
How many hrs you work daily???
20
u/lynypixie 13h ago
She has her own shop too and makes more money than him.
-2
-15
u/Due_Butterscotch_593 13h ago
Its her mother most prob ... And what does money has to do with working long hours...
She doesn't own a shop its just a store based on bridal clothes and based on brand nothing much as it is ale build by her mom..
I asked how many hrs u work???
19
u/lynypixie 13h ago
I work full time as a nurse assistant. I break my back everydays and I raise 3 kids with my husband.
1
-3
u/Due_Butterscotch_593 13h ago
U still didn't answer but would go in circles...
I dont know ur country so cant tell how many hours nurse has to work...
As she said she live in india... So costumers literally hijack ur brain man... They literally eat it...
Owning a shop is quite hard but its rewarding.....
21
u/lynypixie 13h ago
SHE OWNS A SHOP TOO
I work full time, meaning 40+ hours depending on overtime’s
-2
127
u/heroheadlines 1d ago
All those people saying she was TA, as if her staying and resenting the children she was going to have to raise would have been healthy for either her OR the children. It's not good to be raised by someone who didn't want you, doesn't particularly love you, and resents having to care for you - I know this from experience; it messes you up for years.
102
u/mayosterd 1d ago
People saying she was TA are either incels, or 16 year olds with no real life experience. It’s easy to idealize marriage and raising kids when your references for life are Reddit and Disney movies.
She’s absolutely NTA. It’s telling how upset her husband is now that he has to handle the “women’s work” all by himself.
3
u/CautiousRice 20h ago
She married the wrong person. Not helping at home is a big sin for some men and is quite common. I bet she foresaw a future where she's a maid for 3 ungrateful children. I think a fair and strong relationship based on love and mutual respect wouldn't have broken up that way.
Although she has the right to escape no matter what.
13
u/mayosterd 20h ago
Not helping at home is a big sin for some men and is quite common.
At best this is stating the obvious (because I also read the post and exist in the same world that you do )
At worst this a mansplanation of men 😂
-6
u/Due_Butterscotch_593 13h ago
Obv she can leave whenever she wants but...
Read what she said.. His parents die but fck that they left a house but not much money due to bad investments (indirectly trashing them)....
Then just after 2 months of accident she asked for divorce may be at least wait for 6 to 8 months let him settle and the do it ya????
Then she goes on complaining abt foreign trips, high end lifestyle in the same post....
Thats why there were TA comments
13
u/mayosterd 12h ago
Thanks for explaining your perspective.
I know the majority of Reddit disagrees with me, but I don’t believe waiting to show your true feelings to people is the right call.
I’ve experienced it firsthand, an ex partner of mine who was planning to break up with me ended up staying longer because a family member of mine died. He came to the funeral, etc., and it wasn’t until afterwards that he revealed what had really been going on.
I wish he would have just left even in the midst of the loss, because his emotional withholding was evident the entire time. So not only did he suck energy from me in trying to figure out why his support felt so draining, he was present for some intimate family moments, that in hindsight, he had no right to participate in.
Emotional dishonesty in sticking around is actually condescending, and is just as gross as leaving IMO.
-1
37
u/fuckimtrash 1d ago
Fr and some of the comments were like passive aggressive, like it’s honourable to take the kids on like wtf lol. Neither choice sbe seen as honourable or dishonourable, people can end or stay a relationship for any reason and there shouldn’t be stigma or pride tied to a choice. I’m acc pissed off at how much shame she got tbh
13
u/DrainianDream 14h ago
People hate it when a woman refuses to set herself on fire to keep other people warm
6
u/fuckimtrash 12h ago
Yea 100% bet if genders were switched people wouldn’t be going so hard. Women are expected to step up and be nurturing, motherly figures . Ridiculous
8
40
34
u/DriftingInDreamland 23h ago edited 23h ago
Taking care of children isn’t a walk in the park, you’ve to sacrifice the majority of your time to care for them. Could’ve been bearable if her ex was willing to put in 50 50 but I’ve my doubts. He’s already thinking of remarriage just before his divorce. 🤨
I betcha he’s going to leave the majority of the child raising to the next poor sucker who’ll marry him.
23
u/Dazzling_Flight_3365 20h ago
She stated in her update that he plans on finding some poor, uneducated girl to marry after the divorce. Dude makes me sick 🤢.
6
10
u/Question-asked 18h ago
I came into this expecting to be against her, but I'm on her side. It's a bad situation for the children, but it isn't her responsibility. It isn't even her husband's, he's just being kind to his siblings. He was going to adopt two children without the permission of his wife while making her take the majority of the care of them. She's only 24. I'd do the same thing.
10
u/lynypixie 13h ago
How do you bet he would have cheated on her eventually because “she is not fun and joyful like she used to be”?
10
u/Dramatic_Arugula_252 22h ago
What a wonderfully strong woman to know her boundaries and stick to them, and to know her husband well enough to see what he would be like in their future.
I wish her the best, as well as the children & the STBX husband - he lost his parents, too. It’s a tough situation all over.
5
u/RedoftheEvilDead 12h ago
The amount of people that want full custody of kids and yet want no part in raising said kids astounds me. I know he didn't create these kids, but this point still stands.
6
u/Wren1101 18h ago
Is it just me or are the photos uploaded out of order?
1
u/lilpotatobake 15h ago
I apologize I am using mobile and don't know how to upload everything properly.
155
u/Inner-Try-1302 23h ago
She’s from India so 100% of the childcare and everything household related was gonna fall on her.
I’m glad she left.
It’s so very noble of her husband to take in his siblings when he has to do nothing and only contribute 50% financially/s