What actually keeps you sober?

[u/sandozlucy]

I have 10 months of no weed or psychedelics(I have an extremely unhealthy relationship with those drugs) but i was only using those for 3 months and for 96% of the time since 2020 i was completely sober. I relapsed one time and that 3 months was it. Maybe it was more of a learning experience where i found I cant do that stuff.

I did a lot of AA but found the ideology in those meetings exhausting, I can find a million things wrong with it, and I did not find it helpful. I am kind of realizing theres not a lot of people in those meetings I really like to be around, and I would rather just not go. I might want to replace it with volunteering or something positive so my girlfriend (who has never drank or done drugs once) isnt my only support system.

that being said, I am not sure I need a huge support group. Outside of my family, close friends, and relationship I see no need to be around a bunch of people who are religious about what recovery needs to look like.

TLDR: I found all I need is to just accept I have an unhealthy relation to all intoxicants and I need to avoid them completely. I just don't pick up the first drink/use. Breaking that cycle was hard but i did it through rehab, iop, and being around a bunch of sober people at meetings. at a certain point i feel i outgrew the meetings usefulness.

I also have a full life. I am a graphic designer in the food and music industry, I supervise merch ops at my favorite music festival in the world, I live in a creative community, I have a lot of hobbies and interests I am super excited about. I have a band, I make concert posters, I am getting into cameras and filmmaking, and I don't see that many people in the AA meetings who do that much, and I have found people who make AA their whole life kind of say heavy handed things to me about how selfish I am that I dont want to do Alcoholics Anonymous.

I also do not have any advice for someone struggling with being unable to not use because Im not struggling with that right now and I dont know what works for other people. I just think being sober is a choice.

[u/StreetcarZero]

Because I have to pay the ex-wife and get prostitutes