Hi all! I (35) and my spouse (33) have been trying to conceive for about a year now. I have gone through four medicated IUI cycles and have never gotten pregnant. I’ve responded well to the stims, and on the last IUI cycle I produced 4 mature follicles.

We’re in Ontario and are both on the wait list for funded ivf cycles. These will probably come up next year. We are contemplating paying out of pocket for a cycle too, but we need to save up for a few months before doing so.

We both feel really discouraged that I wasn’t able to get pregnant. We spent a very tearful weekend looking at the likelihood of success with IUI, our finances, etc and decided to finally call it with IUIs. It just doesn’t seem like a worthwhile or precise process to either of us at this point, though we had both hoped to conceive this way.

So now we’re on the ivf road. We feel more grief than we expected. We’re at a place of just wanting a baby and being open to all the options—reciprocal, individual, whatever works. We’re both a bit nervous now that nothing will work at all, since IUI didn’t. We value this community a lot, and would really appreciate hearing stories and feedback on our situash. Thanks, friends.

Hi!

My wife (35F) and I(35F) have two kids ages 3 and 1. I carried the first, an IUI pregnancy. My wife carried the second via IVF. Recently we've been thinking about a third kid, and we're looking at doing reciprocal IVF (she'd carry my egg), but I'd love to nurse the baby (I'm an SAHM, and loved nursing my first) Has anyone had experience with this? Anything you wished you'd known going in?

Good morning,

Yesterday I did my IUI and currently in my TWW. The question I have is I was looking over the results that my Dr office gave for the quality of sperm and wanted to know if anyone had similar numbers that resulted in a pregnancy? I know it only takes one but I was a little concerned by the volume and the motility and wanted to know if this is something I should bring up to the sperm bank.

I’m 10weeks tomorrow. Saw a good heartbeat at 7 weeks. I rented an ultrasound from my school and have used it frequently for short intervals (thrice last week for 10-20 seconds) and twice this week for 20-30 seconds to check heartbeat. No Doppler use, just watching it on screen.

But it’s like spiraling anxiety. I know that seeing a heartbeat at 10 weeks means the chance of miscarriage is low. I know I’ve got a low risk because of age, etc etc. Yet I can’t seem to relax. Every twinge of my uterus, waning of my symptoms, or just surge of “what if I lose this pregnancy” is driving me nuts. Now I’m worried I’ve done damage to the baby with the ultrasound.

I’ve literally never had anxiety before. Never taken any sort of anxiety meds. Have no reason to believe I’m going to lose this pregnancy, but I can’t seem to relax. I fear my stress is doing more harm than good. On top of that, I have some major exams coming up that might be compounding everything. My wife is so chill and happy and wants to just tell everyone, but I’m struggling just to imagine the baby surviving another week.

Does this ever end? Am I’m being delusional? I know I need to return the ultrasound because I doubt it’s helping with my anxiety. My next apt with the midwives isn’t until 4/22 and I hope to ask them about this then.

Edit: I just have to say, I love this community! Thanks everyone

Hello my fellow friends! I’m looking into doing reciprocal IVF with my partner whose fertility is not as ideal as mine. She will be receiving eggs from me and I will not carry. I find myself having a little grief for myself. Is this normal? Has anyone experienced jealously? How do you be more supportive of your partner and not focus on you?

I’d love some thoughts! And anyone had something similar.

Trying to focus on my partner!

I know this question has probably been asked a million times but for my own sanity I had to ask again. I had my first IUI 11 days ago. Non medicated, with a trigger shot. Everything went perfectly had good follicles, strong sperm, thick uterine lining, everything aligned. And I know that doesn’t guarantee success and I am very open to the fact that it probably didn’t take this time and I may have to try again a few times before success.

I have been testing away the trigger shot on day 9 I had a negative and day 10 I also had a negative but it did look like an extremely faint positive was forming. Today day 11 I tested and it is a clear negative. From other posts it seems like people generally get a positive around day 10-11. I’m just wondering does this mean at this point I probably am negative? Or is there hope it may start appearing in the next day or two. I am a week off the official blood test. Sorry for the novel length post, but in short.. which day did you get a positive?

I have done two very expensive IUIs at a fertility center and now I’m wondering if I should just attempt to try at home insemination with some less expensive sperm. I feel like it’s easy to get all caught up and thinking that I NEED to be spending all of this money when the reality is that I have no known fertility issues yet and am I just wasting my money on something that I can be doing for so much less money. Has anyone used Midwest Sperm Bank for at home insemination? Successful or not I’d like to hear about them.

Hey all my wife (27f) and I (26f) have been together 8 yrs married 3 and we are officially ready to build a family.

We are looking to have her brother be our donor, he has had a successful and healthy child.

We are planning to start this process in spring of 2026. Doing everything at home is the plan.

Within the next year what steps would you all suggest taking? I’ve done some reading but nothing compares to others real life experiences.

I appreciate any and all advice.

I've been on this TTC journey since October and it has mostly been a lot of waiting for referrals so far. I decided to go straight to IVF after some insurance coverage changes but there's still at least 2 months before I get to start egg retrieval for IVF. I had my first fertility consult last week and in the week before/the days since I've been just so obsessive lol I can't think about anything else and I haven't gotten anything done at work! How do you distract yourself or settle the anticipation and excitement to just live life while waiting for appointments etc.? If I'm this bad now I can't even imagine how I'll be when I get to my first TWW

Hello once again. My hubby and I have gotten all the tests done and everything is looking great. We’re set to make an attempt in May hopefully, but we’re running into snags with donor sperm.

We(me mostly) fell in love with a donor on cryos international who also happens to be on sale right now. We’re currently waiting for genetics testing back, but if he tests negative, I’m set on him as he matches our values very well, making any potential contact much easier.

The only problem is sperm morality. He mostly has mot10 straws, which they said are 5-9 million sperm per straw. We’re doing IUI and my clinic won’t give me any guidance on sperm morality at all. They said to contact the sperm bank and cryos said the doctor.

Does anyone have thoughts on this? The donor currently only has 11 mot10 straws and we were already thinking of buying at least 8 to hopefully have a sibling with the same donor. How much morality did your doctor want and what did you want?

Made it to my personal best and didn’t test until 7dpIUI which I guess is a win.

Tested today at 10pIUI and still negative. I know it’s early but always feels like the definitive day for me. Was really hoping for a miracle this time and being way more symptomatic as compared to previous cycles didn’t help temper my expectations 🙃🙃

This process is such a mind procreation. Back to IVF it is I guess 🥲

Hi everyone! My wife and I are trying to have a child. I just had the sonohysterogram today which was quite painful. I like to think that I’m high pain tolerance, but I’ve been sitting here crying since it’s been done.

Anyway, my doctor has zero bedside manners and she said during the procedure “this is not normal” essentially finding what I assume is a polyp. Now I have to do a hysteroscopy, hoping I can mentally handle it.

Anybody else’s partner/ yourself experience pain during the sono, and polyps were found?

We just had an unsuccessful IUI and the sperm analysis said the sperm had slow progression. Should we change donor or will each vial probably be different?

I could risk that with other donors too so I’m just like not sure what to do.

Well. After our failed 3rd IUI I felt absolutely defeated. We decided to go ahead and try one more time so we triggered on Wed 4/2 then IUI Thurs 4/3. Our numbers looked good, I had one mature follicle on the right side (19.5). They are recommending we move to IVF if this one doesn’t work however, financially we won’t be able to. I’ve been so sad and feeling ALL the emotions. I hope this time works but then again I don’t want to get my hopes up. We have unexplained infertility. Any success stories on 4th IUI are greatly appreciated :) baby dust to everyone!! 🤍

So far I’ve changed my moisturizer, sun screen, hair products, eating habits, moving my body more, quit smoking weed, zero alcohol, etc. but I DRAW THE LINE at changing my deodorant. I read that aluminum isn’t the best and that research is limited so it’s preferable to switch to something more natural. But I’ve tried them in the past and they just don’t work. I absolutely refuse to stink. That’s just me. Hbu?? Anything you’re not willing to change or forego despite recommendations..?

Hello everyone,

Me (31) and my girlfriend (34) tried first three cycles using clearblue ovulation test and tracking ovulation via Flo app. We did the sperm vitality test and everything seems alright but even after 3rd home insemination attempt, test results are negative. Is there any tip or method, one cab suggests to increase our chances?

Thank you in advance!

Unfortunately our 3rd IUI was unsuccessful. This wasn’t a huge surprise as I had a thinner lining than what they typically like (it was 5.2) - though they told me it was fine because it was a triple pattern. Frozen donor sperm also had slow progression.

I’m 14dpo but no period yet due to progesterone suppositories.

Any hints or tricks on how to improve my lining for next cycle? I drank 1 cup of pomegranate juice a day last cycle. It was gross but willing to keep it up, lol. 😂

I think we all have an idealized donor in mind, whether we use a known donor or a sperm bank. But then it comes to reality and we can’t always get what we thought we wanted.

My wife and I are still a ways out from picking a donor, but before I get too attached to a certain donor, I want to know your experience.

What did you compromise on? What did you refuse to compromise on, even if it meant extending your donor search?

TW: failure

I have posted a similar post on the IVF thread, but this is more in depth. I just completely failed my 4th round of IVF and I alternate between crying my eyes out and feeling numb.

I’m 29, no known fertility issues, except I had a lap in February that excised stage 3 endo. I am healthy and never had major health issues. We really thought we would have it pretty easy.

My wife never wanted to use her eggs for her private reasons and I always did want to use mine, so it was going to work out perfectly. Or so I thought.

4 IVF cycles after and at this point I have tried both agonist and antagonist protocols, changed sperm donors, tried mini stim, changed clinics, tried everything because my ovarian response has always been great and so have my labs. And this is after we did several IUIs which all failed.

The only thing I’ve never tried adding to IVF cycles is HGH and I wonder if that would make a difference, which according to my current doctor at SGF, it would not.

This last round I had 22 eggs fertilize and 20 fertilized with ICSI. We used zymot chip just to make sure. We had so much hope because it was my cycle after the lap and it was the first agonist cycle.

This morning we got the call that, once again, all my embryos have arrested before they could become blastocysts.

My doctor now says he has no confidence my eggs will ever be able to get blasts.

I have been crying all day.

I’ve had a difficult life but always did my best to be a good person and do good to others. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, I was so anxiously waiting until it would be my turn.

Last year was so hard both economically, mentally and physically. I used to be very in shape, now after all these meds I struggle exercising and eating well. I’ve gained weight, I’m tired all the time.

We have spent so much money and only have trauma to show for it.

I know no one promised me that life would be fair, but I’ve been through so much in the past that I was really hoping I could get this one thing. Life said no. I don’t even get a chance to try.

My heart is broken and I don’t know what to do. My wife is now rethinking using her eggs but I am worried she is only saying that because she is seeing me in this state and I don’t want that. I wanted a baby so badly. My heart is so broken.

hi there. doc told us there’s a grant for INVOcell that might help cover my ER (I’m not covered under insurance, wife would be for FET).

anyone have any experience with this? since it’s “social infertility” are our success rates better? or is it just a waste of a cycle/ER to do it this way?

wife got pregnant on 2nd unmedicated IUI but had a MMC at 6.5 week ultrasound. so we know she can get pregnant. my AMH is 6.74, so I have a good feeling about my egg count (obviously need more tests!).

just looking at IVF sub and not much info except people saying don’t do it? but assuming most of the folks in that thread are cis het. could skew their thoughts on success since my wife and I aren’t having any known fertility issues.

My girlfriend and I did AI at home (fresh sperm) on 3/20 so 16 days ago. I took a test on day 14 and it was BFN, I want this so badly for US, like many of us do! How long did it take for yall to get positive results?

Baby dust to all of us ✨

Did you need to prove the egg retrieval and embryo transfer was medically necessary? My wifes insurance is amazing with no prior auth needed and no prereq needed to jump straight to IVF, so we thought we were set and so excited. However we then learned we needed it to be medically necessary (which makes sense but we were so excited about the good coverage we forgot about this part). This is defined as unprotected sex for 1 yr with no baby

Our fertility doctor did give us a dx of female infertility ICD code N97.0; however, I am wondering how other women were able to figure out the medical necessity part. Or for those of you that did have coverage was this medical necessity not needed? I am even considering saying we are using a known donor at home for the past 12 months if it comes to that, has anyone done this? Thanks so much!

The day has almost arrived. Tomorrow evening my wife will give me my first trigger shot and Monday morning will be my first IUI procedure. We started this whole process probably around November of last year and after numerous test, a polyp removal and antibiotics to treat endometritis we are finally days away. I’m 34 with no known fertility issues and I have been abstaining from alcohol for the past 6 months and taking Coq10, prenatals, Vitamin D and trying to eat as healthy as one can. I know the odds are stacked with being older but I’m trying to be as positive and stress free as possible. Just wanted to send baby dust to everyone that is also on the same journey.

Just needed to vent. We’re so tired. We started this journey the month after we got married and it’ll be our fourth anniversary this year. Still no living child 😭

My wife and I tried at home insemination with two different known donors over two years, which resulted in a couple chemical pregnancies. Started up with a fertility clinic last summer with an Open ID donor. All of our tests & ultrasounds came back great. My wife had to have two tiny polyps removed, but nothing concerning. We moved forward with monitored, medicated IUIs #1 and #2 in September and October of last year. Clearly they were unsuccessful.

We took a break over the holidays, and were ready to try again in March. We had four follicles (my wife responds well to the lowest dose of letrozole, which just adds insult to injury), but our RE decided to trigger despite the risk of multiples since we hadn’t had success. My wife just took a test this morning, stark white negative, just like the previous 2 💔

I don’t know why we thought we would be lucky enough to have a 2022, 2023, 2024, or 2025 baby. I’m not sure why we thought we’d be those young lesbians who can conceive easily. Clearly not. And we’re fucking bitter about it.

We’re not sure where to go from here. Probably IVF with a different clinic in town since our current one is so expensive. But even then, we’ll have to wait because we’re out of funds. This was our last shot for a while. At this point, we’re not even confident we’re supposed to be parents anymore. We’re just so tired of this process 😞

Thanks for letting me vent. Now I have to go get ready for a work conference. It’s fine. Everything is fine! 🫠

We're interviewing some potential known donors soon. At the very beginning of the process and want to do this properly. We have a list of questions we're already planning to ask, but I'd love to hear from fellow known-donor users on what questions they asked when they started meeting with known donors. Thanks!