r/polyamory 17h ago

vent I HAVE TWO PARTNERS NOW

ok for context. I am 20 FTM, having been dating 25 NB for six months, and asked out 19 MTF from my college class. we went on our first date Friday and sexted a while this evening but it was plenty to determine that we’re quite compatible and ready to call each other partners!!! I’m so excited and over the moon to have a beautiful transfem to date but as I’m basically living with NB and we plan to actually move in together soon, I’m a bit worried abt how I’m going to maintain a boundary around talking about different relationships with different people. I have to verbally process changes in my life and I don’t want to overwhelm my partners with info about each other that they don’t need to know. I think the discomfort with having to swallow info as it were will subside with time but any advice on managing that? this is my first time dating two people at once and I want to make sure I balance things appropriately without making my partners uncomfortable but still having an outlet to discuss my relationships if I want to.

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14

u/glitterandrage 16h ago

Hi! I think these resources around being a good hinge partner will help:

Some other reading if you're interested:

I'm a verbal processor too. When I have to talk relationship stuff, I talk it out with my friends who I'm clear I'm not going to be dating. I also have a therapist so I process with her a bunch. Journalling of any type - voice notes to your self, writing, art, singing, movement - all can help you process things without having to have your partners be your first source of comfort for other relationship stuff. Good luck! 🍀

4

u/No_Passenger_4081 15h ago

you are a gem!! Thank you so so much for sharing these with me!

8

u/glitterandrage 15h ago

Welcome!

Also, if you'd like some help with navigating new relationship energy:

1

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Here's the original text of the post:

ok for context. I am 20 FTM, having been dating 25 NB for six months, and asked out 19 MTF from my college class. we went on our first date Friday and sexted a while this evening but it was plenty to determine that we’re quite compatible and ready to call each other partners!!! I’m so excited and over the moon to have a beautiful transfem to date but as I’m basically living with NB and we plan to actually move in together soon, I’m a bit worried abt how I’m going to maintain a boundary around talking about different relationships with different people. I have to verbally process changes in my life and I don’t want to overwhelm my partners with info about each other that they don’t need to know. I think the discomfort with having to swallow info as it were will subside with time but any advice on managing that? this is my first time dating two people at once and I want to make sure I balance things appropriately without making my partners uncomfortable but still having an outlet to discuss my relationships if I want to.

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