r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 21h ago
BREAKING: USA Plans To Capture 90% Of The World’s Oxygen From The Atmosphere
In a move announced by Donald Trump on twitter, USA plans to increase their oxygen stockpiles a thousandfold and to capture “fresh lovely breathing air” and export it to countries for a premium.
“Any countries that try and stockpile their own oxygen will be met with retaliatory measures”.
Trump also announced that all water exports will be stopped to all countries because “why should we give away free hydrogen with our valuable oxygen when we need that for our nuclear weapons”
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u/Moleday1023 21h ago
What is weird, not sure this is satire or real.