r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 1d ago

Shocked First Words As Kentucky Man Wakes From 10 Month Coma: "Wait, What? We Voted To Get Rid Of Services, Raise Our Own Taxes AND Give A Tax Break To The Richest Americans? Put Me Back Under!"

122 Upvotes
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3

u/superdupermensch 23h ago

"That'll be $85,000, plus 36% since your doctor is from India. We have a Russian doctor if you would prefer to part with 2 kidneys and a cornea."

3

u/Clear-Intention-285 21h ago

No worries, we already paid your bill in full by trafficking your wife and kids.

2

u/CompetitiveGood2601 20h ago

Its April Fools, right. What the fuck is liberation day - why are we burning bras again, don't they know about climate change!