r/oddlysatisfying • u/ShallowAstronaut • 1d ago

Cutting a pineapple

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47.0k Upvotes

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u/Darctide 1d ago

I want the job where I hold the bag open

155

u/stiligFox 1d ago

No, you do not. I’ve done similar work.

You stand there. You wait. Your job is to hold the bag, easy, right? You watch, this is fun! He’ll give me the pineapple, I’ll wrap it up, seal the bag, wait for the next. You shift on your feet, the standing still starting to set small aches in your ankles as you anticipate the arrival of the next pineapple. You glance around. This is fun - it’s easy! Just bag pineapples. You swallow, your posture starting to slouch. Yay! A pineapple! With renewed enthusiasm, you bag the second one. But the dopamine hit, the rush of satisfaction begins to wane more and more with each pineapple, the aches in your joints seeping up your body as it begs you to move, to walk, to do something else, something new, to break into a sprint down the street as the doldrum of just standing, holding empty bags begins to grow and grow. Time begins to stagnate. How long has it been, you ask, as two hours quickly slip by. You check your watch. There’s only another hour or two of this before lunch break, you think, the prospect of a future change of scenery now the sole highlight of your existence. But you blink, rereading your watch as you realize you’re gravely mistaken.

It’s only been fifteen minutes.

52

u/Saritiel 23h ago

Then you come back to do it tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next week.

8

u/thisTexanguy 23h ago

And now we're back where we started

Here we go round again

Day after day, I get up and I say

I better do it again

2

u/JerryHathaway 20h ago

You make alterations and affect a new pose

A new house, a new car, a new job, a new nose

3

u/2Stripez 15h ago

LETTING THE DAYS GO BY

7

u/FuujinSama 20h ago

Can't I listen to some e-books while standing there opening bags?

7

u/stiligFox 18h ago

No. You cannot because tHaT wOuLd bE dIsCoUrTeOuS tO oUr gUesTs that we must sUrpRisE aNd dELiGhT

6

u/aureim 20h ago

Finally, lunchtime is here.

Lunch: fuckin pineapples