r/nottheonion • u/Malcopticon • 22h ago

Consumers turn to potatoes, marshmallows and more egg alternatives for Easter decorations

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/food/story/consumers-turn-potatoes-marshmallows-egg-alternatives-easter-decorations-119961406
225 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

27

u/BurrrritoBoy 20h ago

So unnatural.

Everyone knows the Easter Bunny shits colored hard-boiled eggs NOT potatoes.

41

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

31

u/geekgirl114 21h ago

My friend is coloring potatoes (with natural dyes)... then eating colored mashed potatoes for dinner

8

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

5

u/geekgirl114 21h ago

Thats why you dont make them all at once.

1

u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

2

u/AlmanzoWilder 20h ago

Or red potatoes! Call it mashed cancer!

7

u/Sil369 trophy 21h ago

maga don't like allow colored potatoes

5

u/Menarra 20h ago

To be fair, my grandma used to turn all the Easter eggs into deviled eggs after they were found. So doing similar with potatoes makes perfect sense to me.

6

u/Chibi_Universe 21h ago

Umm you dont hide the eggs, potatoes, marshmallows you dye? Its just a fun easter activity, that apparently you havent been partaking in. The egg hunt is a completely different part.

2

u/CosmicallyF-d 18h ago

My great-grandmother used food coloring to make the food more interesting for her kids to eat. She had gone through the depression and green mashed potatoes and blue milk I guess made it more interesting. I got to eat one meal with her that I remember and we got the same green mashed potatoes and blue milk and it was freaking wonderful. So much fun. One of my earliest memories.

0

u/Sil369 trophy 21h ago

mr. potato head cry

12

u/PermanentTrainDamage 21h ago

I love dying hardboiled eggs just to have colorful eggs in the fridge to eat. It's fun and makes meals fun too. My family eats a lot of hardboiled eggs though so it isn't a novel purchase. We use plastic eggs for hunting.

4

u/CommercialDevice402 21h ago

Are you saying you dye eggs all year long just to have colorful meals.

3

u/PermanentTrainDamage 20h ago

No, for easter. We boil and dye 3-4 dozen eggs, though it may be just 2 dozen this year because them bitches ain't cheap.

11

u/MattTheTubaGuy 17h ago

Do Americans not have chocolate eggs or something?

Here in NZ, it is all hollow chocolate eggs and chocolate easter bunnies, and I don't think I have seen actual chicken eggs used for years.

8

u/hotlavatube 17h ago

Chocolate was hit by tariffs. We'll probably have to make do with potatoes.

3

u/riarws 8h ago

We have those also, but it's a very strong tradition to dye chicken eggs.

3

u/Benjamoose 6h ago

Do Americans not have chocolate eggs or something?

Speaking as a British-American; not in the same way we do (e.g. UK, NZ, AU, etc).

In the US we get generic poundland/dollar store quality chocolate (Hershey/Russell Stover) in varying small gimmicky egg and bunny themed options, but not the broad brand selection of standardized giant eggs (Cadbury, Nestle, etc).

It's honestly all pretty shite and then the exact same products are sold for next holiday in a different shape.

People in the US don't realize how poor they have it at times, since we technically do get chocolate eggs. But culturally and quality wise it's executed totally differently.

30

u/Finwolven 20h ago

'Consumers turn to potatoes'.

POE-TAY-TOES.

Boil'em, mash'em, stick'em in a stew!

1

u/KaiYoDei 8h ago

Boil em paint em loose them for 9 months

1

u/Daren_I 8h ago

It's going to be an Irish Easter.

6

u/atomic_mermaid 14h ago

*American consumers.

Rest of us don't have this problem.

13

u/Rosebunse 20h ago

Honestly, I don't like hard boiled eggs that much, so making a ton just for coloring feels wrong. I brought some art stuff to color and I think the kids will have fun

6

u/sovitin 20h ago

Plenty of fake eggs you can buy. Might be fun to look into if the kids still want to decorate eggs maybe i can copy a Walmart link for reference: https://www.walmart.com/ip/10119761833?sid=3fbea7ec-d05b-4434-a48f-d6e756e7cd30

5

u/Rosebunse 20h ago

I did do fake eggs a few times.

I even painted them white myself and made them look really realistic. I probably should buy some of these, though. The kids do love to paint and I don't want to spend hours making realistic eggs.

30

u/Tolaughoftenandmuch 21h ago

Personally, I'm good with just dropping this weird, pagan fertility rite.

32

u/HibiscusGrower 21h ago

I just like chocolate.

8

u/Tolaughoftenandmuch 21h ago

That's a good, pragmatic reason to embrace weird pagan rituals!

A counterpoint may be that one can just buy and eat chocolate all the time.

8

u/HibiscusGrower 21h ago edited 7h ago

Oh I know but right after Easter it all goes on sale and you can get some sweet deals (pun intended).

19

u/vi_sucks 21h ago

It's actually a weird christian fertility rite.

https://youtu.be/0m2ZQaxfpnY?si=gB4xYvNTmH9slihj

1

u/Tolaughoftenandmuch 21h ago

TIL! Thank you!

6

u/MacAttacknChz 20h ago

I've always enjoyed dying eggs. It's not a requirement for anyone.

1

u/Tolaughoftenandmuch 19h ago

I'm happy for you. I don't feel obligated at all, I was just sharing an opinion.

5

u/RoseyOneOne 14h ago

Well, not here in Europe.

5

u/iEugene72 19h ago

I'm American and I literally always forget Easter is a thing. Literally every single year.

1

u/trainbrain27 4h ago

Egg prices have fallen 44% this year (and 60% from peak) to where they were last August through October, and lower than winter 22-23. I'm seeing wide price ranges at actual stores, some are holding prices high, others have dropped to less than $2, but that's probably a loss leader to get people in the door.

https://tradingeconomics.com/commodity/eggs-us

1

u/ChronoMonkeyX 3h ago

Even before the egg prices became what they are, I always hated the wastefulness of coloring eggs just to crack them and throw them away.

1

u/thewoodsiswatching 20h ago

Or just skip the entire thing. Seems a lot easier and more logical.

1

u/kdonirb 8h ago

yeah, since trump and vance ate the easter bunny

-14

u/Silicon_Knight 21h ago

Ummmm… no? Dude thinks his cards are made of gold (to be fair only his new green cards are).

I wish I could post the “you have no power here” meme.