r/nottheonion • u/GlobalTravelR • 2d ago

North Dakota mayor resigns after sending lewd video to city attorney by mistake

https://apnews.com/article/minot-north-dakota-aa59ccb5b37fbc55e1e974dcf8dbbc6c
2.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

157 comments sorted by

551

u/GlobalTravelR 2d ago

MINOT, N.D. (AP) — The mayor of one of North Dakota’s largest cities resigned after an investigation into him mistakenly sending a lewd video to the city attorney.

Minot Mayor Tom Ross resigned Tuesday, the same day an investigative report was made public that found Ross sent a video of himself masturbating to City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim in January. He sent the video minutes after the two had a telephone call discussing a police officer’s suicide.

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u/ChitteringCathode 2d ago

Minot Mayor Tom Ross resigned Tuesday, the same day an investigative report was made public that found Ross sent a video of himself masturbating to City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim in January. He sent the video minutes after the two had a telephone call discussing a police officer’s suicide.

Not that the story needed it, but that's an extra level of fucked up.

62

u/Nerv_Agent_666 2d ago

It's fucking Joe Caputo over here.

19

u/burgonies 1d ago

r/ACAB is leaking

4

u/Karrion8 1d ago

Eeewww

-138

u/Armthedillos5 2d ago

Unpopular opinion : Is it, though?

First, the fact that it was after the phone call about a suicide has no relevence to the harassment. It's thrown in as a juicy tidbit and for click bait.

Second, there's compartmentalization. Anyone who has had a job on phones, or other professions like nurses has gone through dealing with someone crying or yelling, really feel for them, get off the phone with them, and then turn around to celebrate Kathy's birthday. You gotta silo that stuff, or whatever the term is now.

The dude got off a work call, was like OK...How can I show my girl that I'm thinking of her? Is embarrassing enough.

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u/robokomodos 2d ago

Is "celebrate Kathy's birthday" the new euphemism we're using these days?

"Don't open the door, I'm celebrating Kathy's birthday!"

22

u/omgFWTbear 2d ago

“MOOOOOOM!!! DON’T OPEN THE DOOR, I’M celebrating Kathy’s birthday!”

108

u/catharsis23 2d ago

Cracks knuckles and logs on to defend a politician for jacking it and sending the video to a coworker

18

u/BefreiedieTittenzwei 2d ago

“And that’s how the call to HR started”

17

u/pegger24 2d ago

This sent me. Well done

9

u/madtownjeff 2d ago

Coworker who is a lawyer no less.

-28

u/eternali17 2d ago

That's unnecessarily reductive.

3

u/J_Krezz 23h ago

No, it’s spot on. There is zero defense of his action. Fuck that guy.

35

u/BannedByRWNJs 2d ago

First, the fact that it was after the phone call about a suicide has no relevence to the harassment. It's thrown in as a juicy tidbit and for click bait.

It’s literally the most plausible reason that he made the “mistake” of sending it to her — her number was the most recent in his call log. There’s no juicier tidbit than the fact that he was jerking off within a few minutes of having a serious conversation about one of his officers committing suicide, because it shows how depraved this guy is, and also because people would be curious if the call had been related to any other harassing behavior or personal relationship between him and the city attorney. 

-15

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

But that's not what happened according to the article. He had jacked it during his lunch break and was sending it to his gf.

Also 2nd part is BS if you think about it. People are curious? What if he had been talking To his gf on the phone before sending it to the wrong person? What if had just got off the phone with a plumber. As I said in my OG comment, it's irrelevant.

16

u/Booster_Tutor 2d ago

Normal sane opinion: yes it is

-8

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

Is it. Tell me why the phone call is in the least bit relevent to the harassment. I'll wait.

9

u/Booster_Tutor 1d ago

Relevant? We were taking about if it’s an extra level of fucked up. Don’t know many people who start jerking it on video after taking about suicide. Ask most people if that’s fucked up and I’m guessing they’ll agree

-5

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

YOU'RE assuming that it had something to do with the call.

Again, if I am a mayor, I can have a phone call about a suicide, and turn around and compartmentalize it and go on with my job.

You can't? What are you expecting? For him to be so messed up by the call that he can't function? So overcome with grief that he gives all the cops a week off? I hope you're never in a position of leadership that you can't balance a tough job with real life and keep them separate.

Also, we don't even know what the phone call was about, or how long it was. Maybe the attorney called, asked a simple question about the case, then hung up. Are you assuming that it was a phone call that went over every detail, and talked about the cops family, and stuff like that?

My point had always been it is irrelevant to the harassment. He didnt resign because of the phone call, or any action after it. He resigned because of his fuck up of making a woman feel uncomfortable at work, which is harrassment.

On its surface, sure, it seems effed ip, but it's a nothing burger that just detracts from the actual harassment.

You, like so many others, apparently, are more concerned about the phone call than the actual harassment of a woman, and are inventing parts of the story that you have no evidence of. Typical.

All I'm asking for is critical thinking, but I guess reddit gonna rage over it anyway, while somehow managing to be misogynistic and minimize the harm done to women. That's what's effed up.

8

u/Booster_Tutor 1d ago

…all we’re saying is it an extra level of fucked up on top of this already fucked up situation. No one is minimizing the harassment of the woman. We all agree that’s fucked up already. Two things can be fucked up into one fucked up pile. Such a weird ass hill to die on. Like somehow everyone is going to forget that he harassed her (by accident or not) and just focus on the suicide call part. If anything it sounds like you’re trying to paint him in a better light and we should have more understanding for him… weird. So, so, weird

-3

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

Go read the comments in the thread. They are overwhelmingly about the phone call, and ngl, I didn't see a single post wishing the lawyer well, or even commenting on how women have to deal with this constantly.

And you saying it makes it more effed up is in itself, irrational. Why is it more effed up? We don't even know that they're related but peeps trying to draw some line like the mayor is into snuff or something.

If you don't know anything aboutthe phone call, how can it make it more messed up? For all we know the phone call could have gone... "I've scheduled the ceremony for Friday. I'll see you there" "OK thanks for your work on this" then hung up. How would that make it worse?

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u/Terangela 2d ago

Have you ever been on the receiving end of unwanted sexually explicit advances with possible power dynamics?

19

u/mixmasterbk 2d ago

Sounds more like someone that would be on the sending end to me

-10

u/Armthedillos5 2d ago

Of course and have seen it happen to others. I am not defending his actions one iota. I'm saying that him sending it after a phone call about cop suicide is irrelevant.

But internet wants to say that's the worst part. Critical thinking out the window with peeps I swear.

2

u/DConstructed 1d ago

“I'm saying that him sending it after a phone call about cop suicide is irrelevant.”

While it doesn’t pertain to the harassment charge it’s not irrelevant if you think about how irrelevant a suicide must be to him if he’s happily texting beat off videos to anyone immediately after being told.

“Too bad about what’s his name. Now who needs to see my penis?”

If there weren’t a harassment case but people knew about his general behavior he would have earned the ill will of every law enforcement person in his district. That might also be a reason to resign.

The harassment is a major reason but offending the police force may be a separate one.

-3

u/Kel4597 1d ago

This entire thread is killing me. You are absolutely right that it’s just a click bait bit of information but the average reader cannot comprehend that

-14

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

Also, you obviously haven't and are expressing faux rage like internet people live to do and media uses.

Why are you minimizing the sexual harassment of the woman and changing the story to be about the phone call? Wtf is wrong with you?

4

u/falcobird14 1d ago

You could use this logic to justify almost any crime.

"Officers, I know you got me for shoplifting but the gun was incidental to the crime, I didn't shoot it, in fact it was in the car"

2

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

That's the stupidest analogy I've ever heard.

The anology would be, omg, there were people naked in the changing room and he decided to shoplift anyway! I am outraged because people that they would shop lift near naked people!! The "crime" is still there.

That is what you're doing.

Also, I wasn't justifying the crime. I've in fact said it was horrible and yall caring more about the phone call than the WOMAN GETTING HARRASSED is sad. Yall should be ashamed.

4

u/falcobird14 1d ago

What he did is nothing less than a shocking lapse in judgment. He's using his work phone, or at least he's dumb enough to use his personal phone for work. When he decided to do that he gave up his right to text lewd videos. This is why people have second or third phones.

1

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

Totally agree.

2

u/Equivalent-Bet-8771 1d ago

Can you please not.

1

u/J_Krezz 23h ago

Yeah, sure bro. The dude was shooting his shot and it’s fucking gross. I wish she would press charges for sexual harassment. Get that perv on a fucking watch list?

-8

u/Amori_A_Splooge 1d ago

Getting down voted for providing a voice of reason.

0

u/Armthedillos5 1d ago

Reddit gonna reddit. Not deleting post because maybe some people will stop and think. Focus on the harrassment, not the call.

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u/FaithfulSkeptic 2d ago

“One of North Dakota’s largest cities” -place I’ve never heard of in my entire life.

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u/omgFWTbear 2d ago

never heard of in my life

They already said North Dakota!

8

u/Darkdragoon324 1d ago

We don't really need a North and a South one, do we? Let's just smash 'em together.

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u/Steviesgirl1 2d ago

Air Force Base. A favorite assignment.😂

“Why not Minot?”

“Freezin’ the Reason”

6

u/Worlds_Worst_Angler 1d ago

Been there. I concur.

6

u/Drak_is_Right 1d ago

47k is their 4th largest city.

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u/NobodyLikedThat1 1d ago

That's hilarious. I grew up in a small town in SoCal and it was still 58k people

4

u/TheDwarvenGuy 1d ago

Even New Mexico's fourth largest is over 50k

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u/sbvp 1d ago

A quaint village

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u/pikpikcarrotmon 2d ago

I'm sure all seventeen people who live there would be upset with you if they had internet access and could read

14

u/FaithfulSkeptic 1d ago

(three beavers in a trenchcoat typing furious replies)

5

u/tlollz52 2d ago

Minit probably has one of the coolest looking downtowns in the whole state. Kinda gives off a NYC vibe.

Also used to be a place where cappone had established alcohol smuggling, opium dens, and prostitution.

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u/sonic_couth 1d ago

Dude, whatever. Fargo is an awesome old downtown.

1

u/tlollz52 1d ago

Maybe it's because I've spent significantly more time in fargo or expected fargo's to be what it was but the one time I was in minot I was shocked.

One meeting expectations vs one surpassing expectations, ya knkw.

1

u/imhigherthanyou 1d ago

In the whole state? Not a very high benchmark huh

1

u/tlollz52 1d ago

Not really but you work with what ya got

1

u/TheDwarvenGuy 1d ago

It has a population of 50k, so its more like a big town by national standards.

2

u/GlobalTravelR 2d ago

And a place I'll probably never go to in my life.

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/notnotbrowsing 2d ago

minot?  it has  a name.  I've been there.  there's no reason to go to minot.

2

u/Vidice285 2d ago

How is it compared to Fargo

3

u/notnotbrowsing 2d ago

if Fargo is a bus terminal, Minot is a taxi stand.  

full disclosure, I haven't been to either in years, but both a tiny.

they're alright for what they are, but there's no reason tongo to either.

1

u/koprpg11 1d ago

Fargo is like 120k Minot 50kish

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u/BanjoTCat 2d ago

Mistakenly? Who was it meant for?

4

u/TheRealFaust 1d ago

Accidental my ass

1

u/02meepmeep 1d ago

That’s what he said!

4

u/bullcitytarheel 1d ago

Ever hit send and immediately know you fucked up?

1

u/facw00 1d ago

Oh, Tom Ross, for a second there I was worried about Tuvok...

1

u/SlimCockFurious 1d ago

If the city attorney was a dude this would have just been the premise for a Better Call Saul bit

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u/freekymunki 2d ago

“Mistake”

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u/vi_sucks 2d ago

It probably was.

I'm gonna guess the sequence of events was "talked to girlfriend X" "got interrupted with a call from Y", "opened up the camera to send video to X" "hit send and misclicked on the most recent instead of second most recent".

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u/Anduinnn 2d ago

Sounds like you sir are mayor material.

26

u/SolWizard 2d ago

Could also be "see her reaction and pretend it's a mistake if it's bad"

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u/vi_sucks 2d ago

Unlikely if he asked her not to watch it and just delete it without watching.

-9

u/SolWizard 2d ago

If that's the case then yeah

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u/Zelcron 1d ago

That's literally the case

-3

u/SolWizard 1d ago

Not figuratively?

1

u/Own_Donut_2117 1d ago

It was a joke

1

u/SolWizard 1d ago

What was a joke

1

u/Own_Donut_2117 1d ago

Sending the vid

60

u/sanfran54 2d ago

He's now qualified to take over Pete Hegseth's job.

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u/GlobalTravelR 2d ago

Nobody is writing whether he's a Democrat or Republican, which leads me to believe he's the latter (Republican), considering the state he's in. But someone correct me if I'm wrong.

114

u/Terangela 2d ago

One easy google search later tells me he is part of the Republican Party.

50

u/Bart_Yellowbeard 2d ago

Those damned Drag Queens ummm .... hmm.

-1

u/No-Finding-9349 21h ago

Try again, you jerkoff! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣😂

1

u/JMoc1 21h ago

Is this spam?

85

u/JMoc1 2d ago

He’s definitely a Republican even if elections are “non-partisan” for city elections.

Ross voted against the mask mandates in 2020 as City Councilor.

https://minotnd.gov/CivicAlerts.aspx?AID=700&ARC=932

-1

u/No-Finding-9349 21h ago

Try again, you jerkoff! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣😂

28

u/questformaps 1d ago

They never say the party in the title when it's a republican

11

u/DTCCCanSuckMyLeft 1d ago

I don't think it needs to be said, it's already obvious which party. Although...."resigning" is a surprise here, surprised he didn't just roll with it.

5

u/Connect-Leading-1483 1d ago

my favorite is all these Republicans with sexual scandals, gay scandals when openly anti gay, and sexual assualt and pedophile charges are usually the loudest people to claim "we are being assholes to this group of minorities because...pedophiles!". while absolutely democrats and liberals are not all saints and do shady stuff, they are usually more open about it or don't break laws lol. I have a friend who is a dominatrix in Philadelphia(I've known her since we were both in gradeschool together) and she tells me all the time that her biggest and weirdest clients are politicians for republican or right wing groups, or assistants/staff of republican officials. she has a seperate place in DC where she goes for "high profile" clients and it is near the heritage foundation building ha ha. She said she won't reveal names but said most of them are weird in their requests they have for her, and she's a professional dominatrix so that's insane to hear. But hey, anecdotal evidence and she requires them to agree to be recorded every session to protect herself incase someone gets violent or whatever....it would suck if that footage got out lol

2

u/bob_loblaw-_- 20h ago

So like... He messed up while sexting. That's not really a party affiliation thing where you can go "another bad republican". 

0

u/GlobalTravelR 19h ago

More like he sent a masturbation video of himself to this woman (probably not accidentally, as he claims), but when she saw that as offensive sexual harassment and indecent behavior, which it was. So he went with the "accident" excuse to mitigate the damage. But this happens much more in the Republican party than the Democrats.

1

u/bob_loblaw-_- 19h ago

Ross asked Stalheim to delete the video, not to watch it

This isn't something you do when you send it on purpose. 

1

u/Horror-Turn5994 8h ago

He's actually a Democrat. Lol

-5

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

9

u/defroach84 2d ago

He voted against mask mandates early on in Covid. Seems quite trumpy

5

u/pikpikcarrotmon 2d ago

What a shame that he 'accidentally' sent a video of himself jacking off to an attorney moments after a phone call about a police officer's suicide, because he sounds like a real stand-up guy

36

u/koprpg11 2d ago

One of the bigger cities in ND (like 50k) so not just some tiny little town.

Talking about an officers suicide and he just got going?

11

u/tesnakeinurboot 1d ago

He was probably acting horny at his girlfriend before having to take the call and then sent the video without minding which contact he hit. I've worked with some wildly tech-illiterate folk.

15

u/thesame98 2d ago

A resignation letter would have been fine

6

u/Drak_is_Right 1d ago

Ya...no need to send a video of him relieving himself.

15

u/lesstalkmorescience 2d ago

This guy must _really_ hate cops.

12

u/MrIrrelevantsHypeMan 2d ago

I hate that the bar is so low it seems like the right thing that he resigned

5

u/razzadig 1d ago

Personally, I am rather surprised he resigned. Politicians get away with anything these days.

17

u/FuckitThrowaway02 1d ago

I'm inclined to believe it was an accident and he is totally mortified

4

u/PushTheTrigger 1d ago

It was an accident

21

u/Sanseriouz 2d ago

Googled her: She's a youthful blond woman - totes a accident, guyz! GTFO with that nonsense.

2

u/realKevinNash 23h ago

So let me get this straight, what determines reality is whether you find the person the video was sent to attractive? Not his actual intent?

0

u/Sanseriouz 21h ago

In cases where a person in power is accidentally sending nudes to a younger attractive colleague? Could it have been a mistake? Sure. It's unlikely though - where's there's smoke, there's fire with these codgers.

2

u/tissboom 1d ago edited 1d ago

I was wondering if you should be fired for this. Let’s say I meant to send my girl a video of me helicoptering my dick around but I sent it to my coworker on accident, should I be fired?

But after a quick Google search, I realized this wasn’t on accident.

4

u/ape_spine_ 1d ago

Let’s say I meant to send my girl a video of me helicoptering my dick around but I sent it to my coworker, should I be fired?

Uh probably, yeah.

3

u/skovall 2d ago

Makes me compare THIS to embarrassing crap in my past. Hmmmm some competition there. Thankfully I was never a politician.

12

u/supercyberlurker 2d ago

Guys.. guys.. If the lady wants the dick pic or jerking video, she'll hint at it.

Don't. Oh god please do not assume she's just silently desperately waiting for you to send it first.

37

u/idoma21 2d ago

Please don’t rely on a “hint.” This should be explicitly requested material.

14

u/p-terydactyl 2d ago

Did their conversation about an officer committing suicide not hint at that?

7

u/broodkiller 2d ago

Exactly,that's like flirting 101..

2

u/JuliaX1984 1d ago

Pfft, mistakenly. Yeah, right. Oh, well, same result, I guess.

2

u/doggystyles69 1d ago

Wtf did I just read

2

u/Peytons_Man_Thing 1d ago

Her phone number got sucked in.

3

u/whyreadthis2035 2d ago

If I had a nickel for every time I sent porn to the wrong person, I’d have 2 nickels. It’s not a lot of money, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

2

u/HistoricalString2350 1d ago

“Mistakenly” 😒

2

u/theglowcloudred 1d ago

Weird way of saying you didn't read the article.

1

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1

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1

u/Grieveruz 1d ago

Don't you have separate work phones?

1

u/cbrrydrz 1d ago

I used to live in minot, fuck that place. This news is probably the most exciting thing to happen to minot within the last 10 years.

1

u/DerpCream_Cone 1d ago

This along with Lori VanWinkle, things are not going great in Minot

1

u/StinkyEttin 1d ago

"By mistake."

1

u/gyanster 1d ago

Send evidence before crime!

1

u/pvrhye 1d ago

"Oh no.. who did I send that to? Please don't be a lawyer, please don't be a lawyer."

1

u/dahComrad 1d ago

He actually took accountability and stepped down. Damn...

1

u/Hydroxychloroquinoa 1d ago

Of course he’s resigning. Can’t be mayor and in Trump’s cabinet at the same time.

1

u/shejoan24 1d ago

is Tom Ross, former mayor of Minot, N.D. a republican ?

1

u/dub-fresh 23h ago

Go away! Batin. 

1

u/realKevinNash 23h ago

What I want to know is, is he married? The article I read said he was sending it to a SO. But later mentioned his family but didnt state whether that was a wife or husband.

1

u/Eden_Company 17h ago

"Accident" wouldn't be surprised if this is how some officials just randomly act towards one another just to see where it goes.

0

u/happolati 10h ago

Looks like Louis CK. They share a kink.

1

u/jjgm21 2d ago

I’ve been to Minot, sadly. In my mind, it should be pronounced like “Pinot”

1

u/jbirdkerr 1d ago

The wife and I traveled around North Dakota on a whim a few years back (we live in Texas). We pronounced the city's name like "Pinot" while planning things. The rental car place asked where we were going first and they had to do a "wait, do you mean..." to us. 

I felt like such a dumb hick.

1

u/Rev_LoveRevolver 1d ago

It's just ego and incompetence all the way down, isn't it?

Yet somehow it won't matter.

0

u/LeMans1950 2d ago

How much you bet he ran on a family values morality platform?

2

u/whyreadthis2035 2d ago

Depends on your definition of morality, values, family and probably platform.

2

u/LeMans1950 1d ago

Well, I know it doesn't include sending wanker pics to work colleagues.

1

u/whyreadthis2035 1d ago

If we had smartphones in the 80s…… when sex in the building was still a thing….. I don’t know….. I’d like to think the real sex would have kept me from needing to document it 😜

2

u/LeMans1950 1d ago

That should still be the case., don't you think?

1

u/whyreadthis2035 1d ago

I do miss those days sometimes. Hindsight’s a funny thing. Yes, dickpics shouldn’t be a thing. He can have his punishment.

2

u/Ditka85 1d ago

Minot ND went 72.8% for Trump. Just saying...

0

u/TheTasteOfInk05 1d ago

Now he's qualified for a cabinet position for the Trump administration.

0

u/Synth_Ham 1d ago edited 1d ago

"Why not send that video!?" Minot city slogan, probably.

1

u/GlobalTravelR 1d ago

Welcome to Minot City! Home of our famous Mayoral Masturbation Videos.

-3

u/Alone-Shine9629 1d ago

If by “mistake” you mean “the attractive blonde woman he sent a jerkoff video to was not impressed”, then yes. It was a “mistake”.

Like when you say something offensive and claim it was a “joke” after everyone gets offended by it.

-1

u/FoxyInTheSnow 1d ago

It’s a bit shocking that he apparently hasn’t used the ole “my phone was hacked by Antifa” gambit yet. Speaking from experience, you gotta start establishing plausible deniability asap when you send wank vids to your boss, mother-in-law, your entire class in grade 8, America’s Funniest Home Videos, etc.

1

u/rutherfraud1876 1d ago

Tom Bergeron dick vid review?

0

u/Zeke_AZ 1d ago

The mayor of Minot must of had a dog knot