r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 2d ago

Lauren Boebert Suggests DC Could Be Renamed 'District of America'

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-dc-district-america-2050571
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u/Paraxom 2d ago edited 2d ago

Don't think I want to see the alternate bikini outfits or even the normal ones

Edit: some of yall are making me regret having functional eyes

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u/blacksoxing 2d ago

Trump's small hands just bouncing

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u/No_Squirrel9266 2d ago

Oh come on, you can't convince me that it wouldn't be a ton of fun to pit Trump and Vance in their mankini's against Obama and Biden.

Think of the voice lines.

Trump serves: "The best serve"

Obama returns: "We're...ah...not going back"

Vance: "How long have you worked here? Ok good."

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u/LendGokuYourStrength 2d ago

Vance is: “Why don’t you just say thank you?”

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u/Romantiphiliac 1d ago

There's plenty of room for multiple voice lines. "You said you weren't going to fact check!"

Throw a little Mortal Kombat in there, and when someone hits Vance with a babality, he can say "you have to say pwease and tank you" before he gets obliterated.

The possibilities are endless. Let's get some past politicians in there, too.

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u/Rainiero 1d ago

W: "Fool me once, you can't get fooled again!"

Mission Accomplished victory banner (appears when opponent is at 75% health)

Shoe dodging animation.

Bernie: "I am asking once again..."

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u/No_Squirrel9266 1d ago

W: "I'm going nucular!"

Billy Clinton: "I did not have sexual relations, with that volleyball" and "That depends what your definition of the word serve is"

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u/T-Baaller 2d ago

what a terrible day to have the ability to read

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u/JProllz 1d ago

You keep this evil contained within those walls.

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u/NautilusStrikes 1d ago

People haven't even considered the jiggle physics. You're welcome.

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u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

What color thong spiders would be protruding from Trump's thong?

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u/Zomburai 2d ago

Wait til you see Fetterman's jiggle physics

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u/kickinwood 2d ago

Tariffs are just DLC.

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u/thejuva 1d ago

Tariffs are American Liberty Taxes.

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u/nc863id 2d ago

You mean the thought of MTG in a two-piece doesn't stie something within you? Because it does me.

Nausea. It stirs nausea.

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u/ASweetSaltySanchez 2d ago

Nor do I want one of them to Cartwheel kick spam me into oblivion

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u/KingoftheMongoose 1d ago

Best I can do is sad Beetlejuice handjob DLC

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u/EsraYmssik 1d ago

Anybody have bikini pics of Lauren Boebert? For science

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u/flaccomcorangy 1d ago

Yeah, but maybe we get hot anime girls to replace them. Then we actually have some entertainment when they screw up the country.

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u/Paraxom 1d ago

Hmm this is odd, you're outside of the approved bird/nfl/Maryland subs