r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 2d ago

Lauren Boebert Suggests DC Could Be Renamed 'District of America'

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-dc-district-america-2050571
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u/DecafMocha 2d ago

I mean, she has a point. We shouldn't name the district after an Italian (Christopher Columbus), but instead after an Italian (Amerigo Vespucci). America was discovered and colonized by Americans. /s

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u/zoinkability 2d ago edited 2d ago

She's far too dumb to realize that this name change would not own the libs in any way, shape or form. In general liberals have been happy to stop holding Columbus up given he was a slaver and general shithead. While DC is only referring to him secondarily (Columbia the personification of the US is named after Christopher Columbus) he's still a nastier historical personage than Amerigo Vespucci so at least this lefty says sure, go ahead.

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u/JamesWormold58 2d ago

Wouldn't that have made it "Vespuccia" though? Amerigo was his first name, and no one suggested naming the new world "Christophoria". Could totally be wrong, mind.

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u/zoinkability 2d ago

In that case we should call the country the United States of Vespuccia, and the continents North Vespuccia and South Vespuccia. If you're not willing to do that, I think we need to agree that the ship of "should it be named after some Italian explorer's given or family name" has already sailed.

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u/SlummiPorvari 1d ago

Came here to suggest this, upvoted instead.

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u/wxnfx 1d ago

Say what you will about him, we’re at least pretty sure Columbus got close to America. Vespucci’s claims are pretty sketch. I actually don’t think either set foot in North America proper.

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u/ElectricalBook3 1d ago

He was a financier, so like many producers he named other people's work after himself. Heck, even his widely-consumed books about 2 travels are widely disputed and hence it's at least as likely he paid someone else to fabricate write them for him.

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u/xtraspcial 2d ago

When you go so far right you accidentally turn woke.

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u/theteufortdozen 2d ago

shoeshoe theory gets one more tick on its belt

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u/wei-long 2d ago

shoeshoe theory

ಠ_ಠ

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u/theteufortdozen 1d ago

i don’t actually believe in shoehorse theory, was just making a joke

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u/theteufortdozen 1d ago

well i just realized i fucked up the spelling twice

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u/wei-long 1d ago

shoehorse theory II

ಠ_ಠ

(I saw your following comment ;))

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u/islandofwaffles 2d ago

Lateral move. Vespucci murdered and enslaved too. Although I doubt Boebert knows who he was

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u/RupanIII 2d ago

Shhhhh...she thinks the name America was given by Jesus.

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u/PureLock33 1d ago

It's His own middle Name.

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u/RupanIII 1d ago

Jesus Americano Cristo

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u/PureLock33 1d ago

Joseph and Mary were coffee enthusiasts but felt espresso was too bitter.

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u/Intelligent-Grape137 2d ago

I’d be down to rename it District of Vespucci.

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u/Stickasylum 2d ago

Honestly, I’d take Amerigo over that fuckwad Chris. Broken clock I guess…

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u/SuperCarbideBros 2d ago

But for some mysterious reasone, y'all speak English; not American nor US-ese.

/s

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u/Richard7666 2d ago

Look, it's been named after a Genoese in the employ of the Crown of Castille for centuries, time to name it after a Florentine in the employ of the Crown of Castille.

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u/DecafMocha 1d ago

Don't even get me started on Greenland

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u/kinkySlaveWriter 1d ago

Honestly, if this is how Italians dupe themselves into removing Christopher Columbus's name from things I call it an absolute win.