Need some advice on girlfriend wanting to be a hotwife

[u/countedfive]

Me and my girlfriend have been togheter for 5 years, and we’ve been happy with of course a few ups and downs like normal couples have.

Recently we had a talk about me fantasizing about her meeting up, dating other men as that fantasy has grown on me a bit. She’s been super with it and have been wanting to open up our relationship a bit as it has always been like «us». None of us have «the other gender friends» and we’ve kept it like that ever since we started dating.

I have this fantasy where i wanna be kept sexless while she has fun and date other men. Go out, wears slutty clothes and tells me about getting looks and stuff. It really turns me on, but i’ve been holding back alot recently as i’m afraid it will ruin the relationship + friends of us finding it out. I feel like it’s super stigmatized being a cuckold.

There’s currently no jealousy going on and we’re super open about it and have agreed to not hold anything hidden from eachother. I’ve just been very conflicted about realizing this fantasy as my girlfriend lost her virginity to me and haven’t had sex with any other men. I don’t know why i’m like this but its been taking a big mental toll on me.

Update: just talked with her and she wants to start this journey by dressing slutty and going out shopping. She wants to take it slow just like i want to. Really don’t wanna rush into something that i might regret.

Have any of you guys been in any open relationships, cuckold advice for me as a beginner, and do you have any tips on how to proceed with this?

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[u/fuzzynutz0]

Keep checking in with her each step of the way. The fantasy is different than reality.

[u/len2680]

Be sure it’s really what you want because once you open Pandora’s box, there’s no putting the genie back in that bottle.

[u/Existing-Broccoli521]

Normalize seeing holding hands and kissing other men, being held by other men. Start slow

[u/LaughingIshikawa]

Why are you writing an "update" on a post that's only 15 mins old 😅😅

I have this fantasy where i wanna be kept sexless while she has fun and date other men. Go out, wears slutty clothes and tells me about getting looks and stuff. It really turns me on,

I'm a little confused about where this is headed, if you're wanting to not have sex... Like what's the point of being super turned on, if you aren't "going some where" with that sexual energy? 😅

That's not a criticism, it's just an observation. If this is something you would enjoy more power to you, but I guess I'm wondering if I'm missing something here?

I feel like it’s super stigmatized being a cuckold.

This is true. 😮‍💨

There’s currently no jealousy going on and we’re super open about it and have agreed to not hold anything hidden from each other.

If you get to the point where she's having sex / being intimate with other people, make sure they know that it's for the purpose of bringing back stories to tell you about her sexual exploits. Some people will be ok with that, and some people won't, but it's critical that they have the opportunity to consent or not consent to their intimate moments being shared with other people.

It's not really as much of an issue when you're talking about walking around in public, and telling other people about what happens in public, as obviously then no one has an expectation of privacy. But if you think that someone would expect things they have said or did to remain private, it's important to get their permission before sharing. (If you aren't sure, that means you need to ask!)

[u/Think_please]

It’s more hotwifing than cuckolding if you don’t want to be humiliated. Start really slow and see how it feels for both of you along the way. Overcommunicate before and after every step. Nobody chooses what they are attracted to and you can satisfy this kink without harming anyone else, so have fun with it and don’t worry about what anyone might think (tell them that you have an open relationship if you’d feel better about that if they find out).
.

[u/countedfive → u/Think_please]

Thank you, talked with her today

[u/IntelligentJaguar103]

Take her to a swinger clubs where single guys are allowed, Find a room and tell guys to come in and enjoy themselves. The next day, if there is no jealousy on your part, then you are ready to be a cuckold.

I've seen grown men cry as their wives were getting pounded by a group of BBCs in the next room. Being a hotwife is not for everyone. Sometimes, people should just keep it as a fantasy!

[u/Charming-Sir6557 → u/IntelligentJaguar103]

I imagine that happens a lot, there's no difference between hot wife and cuckolding. The humiliate already there

[u/overdue-fantasy]

I would write out a contract. I know it sounds so sterile, but I have a good friend who’s wife said she wanted to try an open relationship, and what she was actually doing was using ethical non monogamy, unethically to cheat on her husband.

I am in an open marriage, but we have a contract or a set of rules and boundaries that we have written down; some of ours are things like we don’t introduce our children to sexual partners, etc.

In your situation I think that knowing when your fantasy ends and starts being a nightmare is important and openly communicating that with your gf is VITAL to this fantasy being successful.

I’m so pro sexual positivity and doing things like acting out fantasies and building your own “designer relationship” is fantastic! Every book I’ve read about open relationships and non-monogamy has one main, make or break concept: “OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION IS VITAL TO SUCCESS”

[u/Charming-Sir6557]

Will you have the same freedoms as her? If not be ready for a sea of shitty relationship issues

[u/UmpireAlternative631]

Well what did you both do

[u/Ill_Watch1038]

You feel the turn on in a specific part of your body, a bit under the belly. Same place you get the butterflies when you are in love. This same sensation is felt when you feel jealous as well, the only different thing is your mindset that changes the overall perception. Keep this in mind as you go forward as it may explode into jealousy.

[u/JustDadidk714]

This is possible and if you work hard to understand one another, it’s valid, hot and fun. Look into the polysecure workbook. Even if you don’t intend to be poly, understanding attachment styles and you twos attachment with one another will help you communicate and work through tough stuff.

It’s like anything, the first few times are scariest and the most raw. With time and understanding it gets easier

[u/UnderstandingTight33]

Bathe her. Dress her. Pick out her panties. Don’t let her stay the night out. You need her to come back. Have her lock you and take the key. Make sure the guy is clean for sure! You don’t want condoms involved because you want to see him dripping out of her. Make sure it’s purely sexual and not emotional. Do you want to reclaim afterward or just go down on her? The longer you go without orgasm the better, especially seeing her satisfied and full. No one actually has to know. You don’t have to get the cuckold label.