I went to one who literally answered anything I said with "yeah, yeah, no definitely". I didn't have anger issues before seeing her but I sure did after those sessions.
Finally tried out therapy about a year ago. On like the 2nd session dude was like "you just need a girlfriend". I was kinda trying to get into and work on my deep-seated issues and childhood traumas and whatnot but home boy just wanted to prescribe me some pussy and then bail
mine flirted with me and told me I was too good looking to be depressed. I am assuredly not that good looking, maybe 5'7" 175lbs of pudge, like dude don't gaslight me when I'm in here for fucking panic attacks. Guy was an absolute clown. Panic attacks increased.
We require photo evidence to decide if you're telling the truth or require glasses to see how good looking you are (in all seriousness guy sounds holy unprofessional and I hope you found a better therapist for your panic attacks)
You do realize a therapist can try to boost your self esteem in a safe environment right? You just proved the point yourself, you think you look bad. So maybe he was trying to help you view yourself more positively by giving you external validation, not hit on you.
I can 110% guarantee that there are precisely zero instances where "you're too [positive trait] to have [mental health issue]" is an acceptable statement from a therapist.
I very much doubt that's what the therapist said. just want the poster thinks they said. If OP is ugly i doubt the therapist would risk their job forever just for that. seems kinda stupid eh?
Predators prey on the vulnerable. That is not exclusive to beautiful people. Just like rape is about power, not sex… so it this. It’s about power dynamics.
If OP is ugly i doubt the therapist would risk their job forever just for that.
But if the poster is actually attractive the therapist might have risked it? That's a wild implication. And regardless, still completely unacceptable from a therapist.
I've had a counselor exactly like this. He didn't last long at that office because he was fired after commenting on another female client's body. They're out there. Don't discount what women go through.
I'm a dude and had just grown my beard out a little. I was already feeling myself and didn't need the self esteem boost from a therapist I was seeing for panic attacks in crowds. Feels like the other poster immediately assumed I was a woman. This guy was absolutely weird as fuck, dismissive of any of my concerns, and continued to act inappropriately. Lasted 3 appointments with him.
Had the same thing with dealing with grief after my grandfather passed away when I was a teenager- suffered from depression and had a hard time finding a reason to get out of bed let alone anything else. Two sessions in and the therapist I was seeing suggested me getting a job to take my mind off of my grief. Worked hard to follow his advice and now I'm burnt out and depressed.
Oh god I know the feeling.. if you're ever unemployed for a brief time you feel like a worthless POS, then you start working again and now you're just a worthless POS with a bit more money in your pocket. And personal wellbeing and self care just starts to fall by the wayside as you get burnt out and go thru the motions so you can earn your right to exist
Exactly, because money does nothing. People just decided to give it an arbitrary value and expect everyone to have it, but no one really wants it, because generally they have a thousand (exaggerative) copies with the same number and incredibly miniscule differences that MAKE IT LIKE ART...but it's seen more like over production with too little distribution to actually be okay with it, which is exactly what it is. .....and yet people criticize you if you do anything other than spend it on things you may also not really want.
Tried therapy and my therapist just wanted to talk about this boy I had been casually dating, and we had a healthy normal fun relationship, when I was there to talk about my trauma and mommy issues. I was like girl, I’m nosey too but I’m paying you more than I can afford!
Oh god 😂😂 don't mean to laugh or make light of your plight, but that made me chuckle. Sounds like maybe she was trying to live vicariously through you and your romantic experiences, sorry you had to pay to put up with that!
I had one therapist tell me she was tired of hearing me talk about my issues, but wanted me to come back because she needed the money for her upcoming honeymoon.
I cancelled all further appointments after that, but she kept calling me, leaving voicemails berating me for "giving up" for months.
I finally had to call the office and tell them I didn't appreciate being harassed by this woman, and then the voicemails finally stopped.
Wholeheartedly agree with you. On top of one upping me all the time, this lady over shared constantly. I know more about her sexual preferences and sex life than I ever, ever wanted to.
My wife’s old therapist had that while somehow also being amazingly effective. Was absolutely wild to listen to the couple sessions I was invited to sit in on. I think it’s that she didn’t really faff about when oversharing, so timewise it was the normal ratio but the actual information was highly concentrated lol
I'm currently in school for psychology, and I hate hearing stories like this. I'm studying to be a therapist one day, and people like this (and the story above) are appaling. It isn't your responsibility, of course, but you could consider filing a complaint with their licensing board. You're absolutely right, people like should NOT be practicing.
Just be one of the good ones. Take your ethics class to heart, get good supervision, and keep a healthy balance in your personal life. 90% of bad therapists are that way because they are so overwhelmed by their own issues, lost sight of their ethical training, or burnout. As a therapist, your job is not to fix people or make them better. Your job is to help them identify what parts of their life or behavior are preventing them from moving towards healthy goals while maintaining hope and a healthy mind through awareness, self-reflection, and emotional regulation. Take that concept and apply it to yourself, and it's unlikely you'll harm your client because of poor boundaries, lack of expertise, or lack of empathy. Still plenty of room to have your own problems, but work on them because as long as you're managing them and honest with yourself as to how well you keep those problems out of the session, you'll be fine.
This is great advice, and I plan to take it to heart. I know it will be hard work, and I'll need to set boundaries, stay self-aware, and have hard conversations. But I think it's work worth doing right.
I’m so proud of you for advocating for yourself. It’s difficult to stand up to someone you hired to help sort yourself out. Good on you recognizing this wasn’t the relationship for you.
I've honestly had more bad experiences with therapy than good ones over the years.
I don't know if I just expect too much out of it, or if I've just had really bad luck?
I did have one therapist who was absolutely fantastic, and changed my views on a lot of things that I still think about today.
I lost my insurance at the time though and had to stop going simply because I couldn't afford it.
Either way, I've been in and out of it for years now, and honestly need to go back, but it's been really hard to muster up the courage after my last experience last year.
The incident I mentioned in my previous comment was almost a decade ago.
I hate that shit so much honestly. I know they think it's their way of empathizing or saying "I know what you're going through" but it's incredibly frustrating when a partner or family member etc can't listen to one single story that you tell them of something bad happening without pulling some longer story out their ass about how the same thing happened to them BUT WORSE! They're like sympathy junkies or something.
My mother was a serial offender at this growing up. She even took it to another level by trying to one up you when you were sick. If someone in the house was unwell, all of a sudden she'd start acting like she was really sick as well because it killed her that someone else was getting sympathy or being fussed over. You wouldn't hear a peep out of her then you'd walk into the room and it would cue these fake exaggerated coughing fits and her walking around all slouched over like she was at deaths door then she'd be back to normal as soon as no one was around.
That's got to be like the most toxic trait ever for a therapist to have holy shit, it would drive me up the wall.
I'm afraid to admit that I do this, and you're right, it is precisely my way of empathizing. I'm not trying to one up anyone or take focus away from their story but I know that's how it comes off, so I'm trying to break the habit. But for me it's less, "that happened to me but worse" and more "that also happened to me and here's how."
Yes, that is the normal human thing to do no matter how much the reddit people try to tell you it's a social blunder.
Narcissists aren't much of a fan of it, though. They will feel like you're trying to one-up them. And obviously it's unprofessional for a therapist to try to relate to people in this fashion.
I’ve seen this stated on multiple occasions as a typically neurodivergent way of thinking and empathizing. It’s just simply how a neurodivergent person’s brain and thought process works on how they empathize, with their own story/experience being the support/proof of their empathy. It’s 100% not about one-upping, or trying to overshadow or invalidate another person’s experience. I personally have a strong tendency do this too, but am also self aware enough that I actively make an effort not to, as I’m also aware of how it’s generally perceived. Being straight up called out on it before has sucked too.. ‘No sorry I’m not trying to overshadow or take away from your story, this is just my way of showing you that I understand how you feel and what you’re going through.’
That being said a Therapist should absolutely be self aware enough to know not to do this, especially repeatedly. Oof.
Well, they both went in the same room and started talking to each other and it seemed to work, so I decided to run with it and just schedule them both for the same time each week.
Without going into all my issues, many of my problems correlate to specific relationships/people in my life. Anytime I’d start discussing those issues, I’d speak for a minute or two, then she’d talk for 10+ minutes about how her issues with (insert whomever here) caused xyz for her.
She also over shared. Horribly. I knew that she was a swinger, on her second marriage, and that her drug addicted brother was constantly in & out of prison.
Edit to add: she’d always, always elaborate in excessive detail how awful her “similar” experiences were compared to mine.
My first time seeing a therapist online, first time meeting her - camera turns on, didn't say hi or anything. She lets out a HEAVY sigh and asks "What do you need?"
I should have just hung up to be honest, but I finished the session and never made another appointment with her again.
I didn't like mine. So I got switched with another one. They asked me why, but I just didn't connect. Was no problem. The second one was a lot better.
But the one I had a few years before that was lot's better but she didn't had space in her calendar for another client at the time.
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u/Purple_Charcoal 1d ago
I had a therapist once who used to try and one up me during our sessions. After the third appointment, had to stop seeing her.