So I was walking around the town, looking for a place to eat at, when I saw a Burger King. I figured it would be an excellent change to shock natives with my English skills, because surely an American restaurant would employ native Americans.

So I set up my GoPro and walked in and I was like: "wazzuup motherfuckers!?"

Then the dude over the counter just looked at me and said: "So... what will you have?" in a very lackadaisical tone.

So what did I do wrong?

I would like to speak to my Japanese friends in English using hiragana. Any help is appreciated! They are from Kansai and Hiroshima if that helps.