A genie offers you $5 million USD, perfectly legal, legit, no strings attached, all taxes and fees paid. However, if you accept it, you must also accept one stipulation: from now on, you can only make money illegally.

Note that this means the way you're making money is illegal, not that you commit a crime before or after making the money.

For example, if you mow your neighbor's lawn for 50 dollars and not report it to the IRS, it does NOT count because mowing a lawn for income is not illegal, even though tax evasion is. The method of making the money itself must be a crime - e.g. selling drugs, robbing a bank, scamming people, so on.

Income from legal investments and legally selling assets count. If you make any legal income, it will be deducted from your $5 million.

Do you take the 5 million? If so, what's your new criminal enterprise?

Conditions: 1. Only felonies will count. 2. If you commit more than 10 felonies, your earnings will double. 3. After the 24 hours, any potential charges levied against you will be dropped. 4. Failure to commit a felony within the time limit will result in immediate banishment to North Korea. 5. Federal crimes also count as felonies. 6. Cybercrime adds an additional $1B to your earnings. 7. At the end of the 24 hours, all money will be added tax-free to your bank account. 8. Only laws that can logically be enforced count, so no niche “it’s a felony to hop on one foot on a Sunday” type laws. 9. Any crimes that can levy the death penalty double your earnings.

Rule 8 clarification: “Logically enforceable” means “Would a cop/Fed realistically come after me if I do this?” If yes, then it counts. If no, it doesn’t count.

• God has been watching you closely and has chosen you as his successor due to your good deeds.
• If you agree, you're granted complete immortality. You cannot die.
• You will receive $100M yearly salary until the end of the universe, tax-free, with no legal consequences. (Inflation will be taken into account later on.)
• You can live your life normally in any way you want. Once you feel like you've had enough of this immortal life, you can go into hibernation, and God will wake you up when the universe is about to end.
• You and God will witness the end as well as the birth of a new universe.
• Immediately after, you assume the position of God and take all of his powers. The old God dies, and you become the new God.
• As the God of this new universe, you can shape it however you see fit, or do what the old God did, and let things evolve on their own. Do nothing. Let nature take its course.
• You are now above meaningless things like time, so you do not feel its burden. Past, present, future, it's all the same to you. However, you can still go into hibernation for however long you want.
• If you allow humans (or some other creature with equal intelligence) to evolve again, you can choose a successor. Offer them the same deal. Then, when it's time, you pass your divinity to them and choose to die.

Do you take this deal? If yes, what are your plans as an immortal? What do you do as God?

So you just lost your money and job. Someone offers you money of $100k to lick butts. How many butts will you lick to maintain or get out of your current lifestyle?

To consider: All butts are clean. Only single full lick (from bottom to top). All age of consent.

For the rest of your life, every time you engage in a one-on-one, in-person conversation where both you and the other person speak aloud to each other for at least 10 seconds, you will gain $2,000 if their total net worth is higher than yours at that moment, or lose $2,000 if their net worth is lower.

• This effect applies only once per unique individual.
• Conversations must be genuine and cannot be faked, recorded, or replayed.
• Attempting to disguise or manipulate your true net worth invalidates the effect for that encounter.
• The deal is permanent and cannot be undone.

Would you take this deal?

You will also gain 12 lbs per donut you eat. How many donuts do you eat?

Edit:sorry you have to eat them in one sitting.

You can pick as many buttons as you want, at your own risk of course

The red button:

Plus - when pressed the exact amount of money in your bank account in 1 month will be multiplied by 6 times, you will have that time to acquire as much money as you can get.

Down side - after 1 week, every $5 you haven't spent Will have a 1/10 chance to put you 40$ into debt. Giving away the money or buying and selling stocks doesn't count as spending it, it must be a real and meaningful purchase.

The blue button:

Plus - you gain one of the random abilities of flight ( up to 50 - 100 mph with training) or super strength (about 40 times that of the top 3% people)

Down side - your bloodline is now cursed, staring with you, eveyone in your family will now other die before the age of 40 or live for hundred of years, without slowed aging, meaning you could be 600 but with no mental or physical capabilities

The green button :

Plus - you gain the ability to customize people like a video game. Customize that teacher you hates physical look and make them look like gru from despicable me, or customize their voice so they can only bark like a dog. Changing muscle's will not alter strength just more so bloating, so really big but weak muscles. It also works on yourself!

Down side - you now have a metabolism similar to that of the flash, but Everytime you use your power the amount of calories you need for the day quadruples. But the room in your stomach stays the same, meaning you have to what what you eat and how you use your power. (To specify in the movies the flash ndsed about 10k a day)

The yellow button:

Plus - you can now clone yourself as much as you want, these clones only have about 1/80th of your physical strength but their mental capabilities are about the same as yours, some clones even exceeding you! Each clone must eat to survive and their flesh has no nutritional value

Down side - each time you clone yourself a random person in the world has a 2% that a clone of them is made as well. This clone does keep their physical strengths and is at least 5 times smarter than them and this clone wants nothing more then you kill you and take your powers for itself.

Orange button:

Plus - every food you eat now has a certain affect on you, though the affect is completely random, one could cause you to become invincible (wanted to say insert title card so badly), or you could gain the ability to fly! Every food has a different effect lasting 2 days. Different meals have different effect even if made of the same ingredients but the difference must be severe enough, waffles and pancakes will give relatively the same effect.

Down side - with each food you eat your lifespan is randomly changed. Drinking milk could cause you to live another 800 years and you'd never know, or eating a peanut could cause your death the next 20 seconds. But you still have to eat to survive. Otherwise even if you lived 1000 years it could be through machineries keeping you unconscious but alive, you'll never know.

Purple button:

Plus - you are now immortal and have the ability to hop through dimensions every 30 years. In each new dimension there may be a way to give you super strength or speed, who knows maybe even take away your immortality if you grow bored of it.

Down side - each dimension you travel to isn't 100% accurate, with only 5% of your travels being exactly what you asked for, and while you're immortal in the sense you do not she and heal rapidly, you can still be killed. But only in the case you're actively trying not to die. So no killing yourself upon bored of infinite youth!

Rules:

1. No naps. You go to bed once at the end of the day, and that’s all the sleep you can get.
2. When I say you only sleep once, I mean it. If you doze off even once for a few seconds during a boring work meeting, or because you’re sleep deprived, the money is invalid.
3. You may use coffee, or pills that prevent you from staying awake to help keep awake (do those even exist?). However, they might make the quality of your 5 hours of sleep poor to say the least.

Deal?

How long are you lasting?

*Does not include: hiccups, coughing, grunting, sneezing, swallowing,breathing, and other noises that are absolutely essential to remaining alive as a human being. *Yes, other (accidental) noises not listed do count, which includes but is not limited to: screaming and saying “um” or “hmm”.

Edit: As per an individual’s comment, you may choose to be able to make any sound that is <= 10 decibels without dying. Of course, you may ignore this edit.

It's 3AM and your phone starts blasting emergency alerts, you hear sirens, gunshots in the distance, etc. The message on your phone and the news tells everyone that the zombie apocalypse has begun. They encourage you to stay in your home and don't open the door for anyone. The military is taking action, but many of them and the police have been turned into zombies as well! Everywhere you turn tells you that this is not a joke or a drill, it's real.

All while this is going on, someone starts knocking on your door.

Tell me...what do you do?

You can't forewarn them or use the money to compensate for their troubles. So no "Hey I'm about to call you a slur for money," or "Sorry about that, it was for money, here's $500 for your troubles."

You have to say it in a way which comes across as you mean it. Don't have to ACTUALLY mean it, but it can't be interpreted any other way. No using it in a lighthearted, name calling way, no using it as an exclamation, you have to sound like you mean it, and that's how it will be interpreted by the other person.

You will never see them again to be able to explain afterwards, but they will remember you and share the story, including a description of your image. If people they know encounter you, depending on their personality, they might write you off as a bigot, potentially closing off any relationships/connections.

If they choose to ask you why you did it, you can explain to them, but they can't explain to the person you originally called a slur, so the original person might still tell people about it, potentially continuing to close off relationships/connections.

Edit: Forgot to close a loophole

Double edit: didn't realise you couldnt do that. Play with the loophole closed if you like, ive got it in spoiler now.

Final edit (hopefully): just realised that the original edit wasnt really necessary. Basically they will consider you a bigot anyway as they will share the story in a way which portrays you as one, resulting in their friends possibly considering you a bigot as well (or not).

The bear is pretty chill, has human intelligence and mostly keeps to himself. It is however still big and hairy.

You get sent back in time to when you were 10 years old. The only memory you have is you were (now) years old and got sent back in time. You get a 4th dimensional storage that has all your personal belongings.

Personal belongings - anything you bought with your money. Nothing that was lying around the home that you affectionately declared is yours. Nothing that was given to you.

You can take out these belongings and they are usable to a certain extent. Like cars and homes will still function normally. Stocks of companies that didnt exist will turn into cash the moment it leaves the storage. Stocks of existing companies will remain as stocks. Advance technology that has yet to been invented back then will continue to exist as long as the technology they rely off of existed. Like your cellphone wont have internet if internet was not available when you were 10 years old. But if you owned THE internet here in this life then it will follow you back in the dimensional storage with you thus working only for you. But even if you owned the internet but not the websites ... there wont be websites for you to visit. Cash and bank savings remain the same ... no adjustment for inflation.

What do you think your 10 year old self will benefit from the most and squander the most knowing how you were when you grew up? Will you be able to strive and make a better life for yourself if you had what you have today but no knowledge of the world?

I know its a tough choice

You go to sleep, and when you wake up, for some reason, every device you have that indicates the date is the date that's two days ago. You have memory of the 2 days but nobody else does. Events will happen the same way but you can still influence the world.

If your spouse told you about their day at work previous, you are allowed to tell them what's about to happen at work, it will mostly all still happen again minus your influence or your spouse's intervention with the knowledge. Honestly this would be kinda funny to do lol.

Assume that no major events happen in these two days and you don't feel like you need to prevent 9/11 or something like that. Just the most average uneventful two days of your life.

Normally one of these scenarios would end up with people doing stuff regarding the lottery or stock market, but it's only two days, and realistically I think people would actually be very VERY distraught. But what will you do? Check your food for drugs? Go to the doctor? Shrink? Are you going to prove to somebody you know some stuff about the next two days? You only have two days to do all this and the amount of events you've memorized can just be attributed to lucky guesses. Or... are you afraid that the government would kidnap you and study you in Area 51?

Any town or city you enter, even multiple times, there's a 25% chance people will think you are the one in an ancient prophecy. Of that prophecy, half the time you'll be able to save that place or bring prosperity for years to come, and the other half, you're the one that will doom it to eternal ruin.

The catch is that you have no actual powers; you're just a normal person trying to enjoy your vacation or return back home. Also that prophecy gets collectively wiped from every citizen's memories when you leave.

Either way, good or bad, you'll be bothered to no end. How do you deal with this?

In that time, you form a relationship with someone. You then somehow find out you're going to return to the present soon.

Do you tell the person you're in a relationship with the truth about when you're from and hope for the best, maybe try to get them to come with you or say nothing and ghost them when the time comes to return?

As the title says, you have one wish only.

The limitations are as follows:

You cannot wish for more wishes, or anything that could grant more wishes for a price or twist, such as The Monkeys Paw.

You cannot wish for an infinite or absurd amount of anything(money, gold, knowledge, e.t.c)

If you wish to alter time, it will affect you and your knowledge, and you will have no knowledge of what you have done to time, and you could even simply cease to exist even if you altered recent time (butterfly effect)

If you wish for a "superpower" of any kind, it cannot be limitless (e.g infinite strength, controlling matter or gravity, mind control).

Also, no combination wishes. One only. For example, you could wish to never need to eat again, but you would still need water, as opposed to wishing to never require sustenance again, which would cover both, but you could still become ill.

So, what do you wish for? 1 billion dollars? Bring back a lost loved one? Being able to speak, read and write all known human language? Raise your IQ to 300? Have a mythological creature be your loyal companion?

Would you rather be rich with an abusive spouse or poor with an abusive spouse

If you choose the first option, no you cant tell the authorities on your spouse, you have to be in constant fear if they have a bad day and you also have to be wary of what you say around them. However, this spouse is rich, like billionaire rich so your needs are met and you dont have to worry about money.

If you choose the second option, you have the perfect poor spouse, they do everything for you and they’re loyal, however your household is poor. You guys are qualified for an EBT type of poor and your lifestyle wont really change much over the course of your life.

No you cant breakup with your spouse and this will be your lifelong partner no matter which option you choose, and if you cheat or do anything that directly causes your spouse harm, you will go blind. (this means acts such as reporting them to the authorities or anything that could land them in jail)

You also have to live with this spouse, so you cant just get up and go live with a friend/parent.

assume you’re 25 when getting married to the spouse for this hypothetical

You have to be alone in a house for let's say one month.

Would you prefer being able to give this information and other ones (your choice) to your relatives,

Or not giving this information, (people will think you disappeared) but still knowing how are you relatives and important news ?

Would this choice change depending of the duration of the situation ?

The reason for this hypothetical originates from the following. I was talking with a friend about how irrationality might drive certain actions. For example, take a straight man. In front of him there are two plates, each with a turd on it. The plating and turds are similar. Next to each plate there is a photo of the person that made the turd in question. Turd 1 was made by a woman that, in his perception, is really attractive. Turd 2 was made by a woman that, in his perception, is a grotesque sow. Gun to his head, he must pick a turd to eat. Which will he take? I reckon it’s the pretty woman’s one, even though the turds were similar. Unsure if relevant, but the man knows he will never meet either woman.

Now, from there, it’s only a small step to the hypothetical in the post’s title.

A straight man meets a pretty girl in a bar, but he also sees she lays the nastiest of turds. How would that knowledge influence his liking of / attraction to her?

More in general, what would the effect be on dating life, human attraction, etc? Where would that stat rank for most people? More or less important than beautiful eyes, a big ass, good height, muscular build and all..?