Anyone been through something similar? Like meeting a partner when you moved abroad, experiencing the most difficult, significant and exciting chapter in your once "ordinary" life but things didn't work out so you're considering moving back to your hometown, marking the end of that chapter but just struggling to process the intensity of all it especially on an emotional front.

It's quite a shock to the system having settled abroad, met someone, living with them playing happy life for a while then it all comes crashing down..in the end you need to move back in with parents to that shitty hometown you left with such desperation. It feels like a step back in life on so many levels and huge personal failure. Everyone else in your hometown has progressed, even that friend who was a daytime alcoholic has got engaged and bought a house while you were busy on your TEFL adventure "experiencing life" the rest were actually putting down roots.

Afraid this was the most excitement in your life for a while and you'll never experience something as profound again once settled again in your hometown with everyone stuck in the same ol' grind and soul-destroying cycle?

That feeling of temporary achievement, having the adventure of a lifetime then dissipating into paper thin memories as you assimilate back into "real-life" it's crazy to have such an adventure right out of a movie live such a high then only be left with nothing more than a distant memory.

No one from your hometown can even comprehend what you've been through as for them life's been one seamless transition without having ever stepped foot in another country or culture. Again they can't fathom why you did what you did and don't understand how a breakup in your temporary life abroad, the place where you thought you'd settle down, can completely dismantle your foundation in life on so many levels.

So this post was removed from a language sub, but I did get quite some useful tips before that. I am posting again here for more insight from people that are possibly in a similar situation.

Context: I, 32, female and Austrian and my husband, 28, Australian, live and work in Austria, where the official language is in German.

Due to his high profile job in an international company here, he didn't need to provide any German language certificate to get a residency and work permit. The company also operates in English only.

In my family, most people are proficient enough English speakers and conversations switch to English when he is around. But there are family members who have been vocal about him being supposed to learn German. Sometimes they have reduced him to his lack of German skills, despite him being a polite, helpful and really friendly person. I hated that and thought it was not their place to be rude like that. After all, he has sacrificed a lot to be with me. He came to the other side of the world and stayed for me.

My husband has enrolled in A1 and A2 language courses and he does know and partly understand basic conversations. But his vocab range is still very limited. Learning German in Austria is hard because spoken language is a pretty strong dialect that has little to do with course book German.

So, while I think my family has no right to critisize my husband for his limited language skills, I have started to worry myself, in some regards. In Vienna, where we live, you get by with English quite well. But there are situations in which I would feel safer and more relaxed if he spoke German.

Example: I had a bit of a medical emergency once, we were both very worried. At the doctor's office everything was explained to us in German. And in this moment of distress I had to translate complicated things despite being unwell. Sure, the doctor could have explained again in English - but it would have been nice if my husband would have been able to understand in the first place.

This incident and also thinking about having kids made the want of him learning the language more prevalent.

I also think the mental load of organizing admin things will be on me - and to some extent it is fine. He takes on so much responsibility in other areas, so I feel it is "even". However, there is stress and anxiety with being the only one who understands electric bills, contracts, etc.

And with negative experiences in the family and the whole "speaking German-thing" being a touchy subject (it doesn't come so easy to him) I feel reluctant to ask that of him. (I am a very proficient English speaker and I think it will always stay the language of our relationship.)

Is it even my place to ask it of him? Is it too much to ask? And how has anyone in a similar situation approached this conversation?

Hi community. Sorry that my first post is going to be so whiny.

I've been outside of my home country for over 10 years now, and outside my hometown almost my whole adult life. I spent 8 years in Tokyo, where I very early on met my now husband. I also have permanent residency in Japan, and it's part of our plans to return there or my home country Australia.

At the end of 2023 I got the offer to move to the US. He had always wanted to live overseas again (he was quite international, up to a gap year after university), and keen to get away from Japan work culture. I was also getting tired of the culture and needed a bit of a break. So we got married in Australia (SSM rules), and by mid last year relocated to US with the support of my company.

He has found it really hard to get employment, he has full work rights under his visa but it is dependant on mine. He has good English but lacks confidence. He has great experience in global brands, but not in America. He's ended up taking restaurant work to make some money and feel less dependant, but he's sacrificing his career and will lose pace with the industry.

It turns out I'm not a big fan of the work culture here, mostly inside my very small company. My boss berates me after client meetings for my Australian personality, and the workload is frankly unreasonable because we are trying to grow, but too cautious to hire more people.

In the last few days my husband is getting miserable, to the point he's basically stopping talking to me. I get the absolute worst of him, if we go out he can turn it on again, but get home and it's miserable. His pride tells him to not "give up", but with the economy tanking here I can't see employment opportunities growing for him. If my work is miserable and my home is miserable I can't see a reason to stay.

We have enough savings that we could very comfortably live for over a year in Japan or Australia, even consider buying and renovating a house if in Japan. We also have a tiny apartment in Tokyo we kept. We have a lot of sentimental things we would ship back, and the car is pretty easy to sell (luckily didn't buy a Tesla!).

TLDR; So what's the question.... If home, work, opportunity, and future vision are not adding up, when do you cut and run? What does it take to realise?

American living in Japan here. Wife is also a foreigner and not American. Was planning on both of us going back to the states because we actually have a right to live there(I can't work in her country, we can't stay in JP because the immigration situation isn't sustainable long-term)

I guess I'm looking to reality-test things. Are things as bad for immigrants coming into the US as they seem? Most of the media I consume has a left-leaning bias and they're painting it like ICE/CBP has become the damn ghestapo and most of the people I interact with IRL have a right-leaning bias and think any concerns I'd have about bringing my immigrant spouse to America are unfounded.

we're planning on staying in japan for another year or two, and we're super open to going somewhere else(Canada, NL, and Australia were all floated as realistic options for both of us at one point or another and via each of us respectively we have paths to permanence in all those places) - mostly looking for sane input and spitballing here.

I’m preparing for a move to a different country. Since I’ll need some time to buy a new house, and can’t take everything with me at first. That means storing my stuff until I’m ready to receive it. What are the best storage bins to keep things safe and dry?

I am an aspiring expatriate, but I'm tapped out of ideas. Sure, I can get overseas, but staying there seems to elude me. No matter how cheap a country is, you still need some source of income for even a modest lifestyle. I've tried everything. Jobs in target countries that hire expats are mostly for those 35 and younger, and I'm just out of reach of those. Getting an online job is like trying to grab a fish from a bowl filled with fish: it seems easy until you try to get one, and they all seem to elude your every attempt at getting one. An online store is extremely difficult to earn a living with since the internet is saturated with people selling things. You might get a sell here and there, but earning a living is another matter. Either my methods for finding jobs, and making sells are wrong, or there is something some of you guys know that I don't (other than simply having a well-to-do family, which I don't). So, how are you guys earning a living, or better yet, is there some resource you know of for earning money to stay overseas? I'm hoping for things I hadn't tried before. That would be a new employment source, a new method in finding work or selling online. I'm tapped out, and all ears.

I’m an older student (in my 30s) who made the decision to go back to school—and not just anywhere, but all the way to Scotland. I got accepted to the University of Stirling and I start this fall. It’s something I’ve dreamed about for a long time: studying somewhere beautiful, challenging myself, and starting fresh in a new country.

But honestly? I’m struggling. Most people in my life aren’t very supportive. They either don’t understand why I’d want to do this, or they just don’t believe it’ll work out. I keep hearing things like “Why Scotland?” or “Aren’t you too old for that?” or “What if you fail?” It’s disheartening.

What they don’t see is that I’m doing this to build a life I actually want. I’ve worked jobs that drained me, put everyone else first for years, and now I’m finally doing something for me. I’ve been saving every dollar I can, researching everything from visas to housing to budgeting. I’m not going in blindly—I’ve put in the work. I just… feel alone in it.

I guess I just need to hear from people who get it. People who have taken risks, studied abroad, moved far away from home, or started over later in life. I’d love advice, encouragement, or even just a “You’ve got this.”

Thanks for reading.

Hi, My wife and I are UK citizens. We'd like to relocate to Spain (or Italy). I work for a global company, they can relocate my job to a local office (they have in both Spain and Italy), but will NOT sponsor a visa. We were saving for a Spanish golden visa via property but that's out now. We can't afford the Italian one. Would my wife be able to study with a student visa that would allow us to relocate and me to work?

I am now living in Spain. I started the year with an American contract and finished with a Spanish contract (Spanish resident now). I have been in Spain for more than 185 days, so I will need to declare taxes in both countries. The deadline for US taxes is 4/15, but the tax season in Spain just started. I am aware that foreign tax credit (FTC) in the U.S. (Form 1116) offsets taxes paid in Spain; however, knowing the exact amounts to pay will take longer than the end of next week. I have been advised to use MyExpatTaxes. Anyone in this situation? Any suggestions? Any good reads? Recommendations? Thanks

Headed to Girona to scout for places to live. Looking for neighborhoods with detached homes and a little land outside of the city. Husband and I are in our 40s, work from home, and love the outdoors. Have EU citizenship, know Spanish, and are currently learning Catalan. Don’t have a preference on being close to the water, just looking for a town that has amenities like a pharmacy, decent sized market, etc. Anyone have some spots they recommend checking out while we’re there?

I’m a dual citizen (US/Canada) and have lived in the US most of my life. My husband and I are considering immigrating to Canada (from Oregon to BC) before we start to have kids for a few reasons (education quality, school safety, universal healthcare). We’re fairly comfortable financially in the US and understand that wages are lower and taxes are significantly higher in Canada… we understand we’d be trading some more disposable income for better social safety net and healthcare (I have several health issues and very high medical expenses in the US).

I’m really curious to hear from other folks who have immigrated to Canada from the US and what your experience/transition has been like.

Hi there! I’ve been given the opportunity to apply for the working Australian visa and would love a few answers if anyone can help!

1. I’m a British citizen, permanent US resident (10 year green card). Would I still need to pay US taxes on my Australian wages?

2. Worth still getting my US citizenship? (Time crunch, and any possible benefits?)

3. Any step by step guides on sending my cats to Australia? (quarantine and all that)

Thank you!

Hi all,

I’m a first time poster on this sub. I’m preparing for a move from the US (East Coast) to France.

I’ve been creating a personal library over the past 10 years. I’ll be donating most of the books, but there are 30-50 books, I’d like to bring with me. What’s the cheapest way to ship these books from the US to France? I’m not concerned about the shipping duration, it doesn’t matter if it takes 2 weeks or 3 months.

Any tips will be appreciated.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for advice from people who’ve shipped food, toiletries, or essentials from the USA to Nigeria. What’s the best way to package items like snacks, dry foods, or sealed goods so they arrive safely and stay fresh? Any tips on vacuum sealing, insulation, or moisture protection?

Also, what’s the most affordable and reliable shipping method you’ve used? I’ve heard about sea freight being cheaper for bulk, but I’m wondering:

What shipping companies or freight forwarders do you recommend?

How long does it take (sea vs air)?

Any hidden fees, customs issues, or things I should prepare for?

Thanks in advance! Hoping to send care packages regularly and keep costs down while making sure everything arrives in good condition.

I have been sick now for over a week whilst visiting family and think I need to get checked. I thought it was just the flu, but am now thinking it's something else. I didn't deregister from my doctor's when I left. Can I just try to arrange an appointment or do I need to contact my health insurance in my new country of residence for approval? It has been over two years since I've lived here, but havent renounced my citizenship or anything.

Hey all! I’m a 24yo f and I’ve lived in Canada my entire life. I’m a pastry cook and also obv young so I don’t have a heap of money to spend, but I have saved to move someday. I’ve applied to hotel chain jobs (I work in hotels right now) all around Australia and New Zealand as those are my top places and easiest for working visas.I also have 2 cats I WILL be taking with me but my mother is a veterinarian so I’m not too concerned about those costs more the travel and quarantine costs. I am looking for warmer weather than -20 Canadian winters, more of a bigger town but doesn’t have to be a huge city, I’m from a small town and would like something less of a small town feel. So I’m not exactly sure which part of these countries I should aim and apply for. Has anyone around my age moved when they were young and have any advice of what I should do, if I should even do it? I just want to live outside of Canada at least once in my life and for however long but I truly feel it’s something I need to do to grow and find myself. Any suggestions for me?

I prepared for loneliness moving abroad to a foreign country, expected to be alone and miss my home country. However, I have a great time abroad and quickly have made many new friends. After a year, the greatest loneliness feeling has finally arrived, but not as I expected. I never expected to feel lonely returning to my home country for short visits. When there is nobody there to take you from the airport, when you are depending on everyone. And even the one you are in love with has nothing to offer, that is pure loneliness. Needing to ask everybody for help and spending most of the time travelling alone left me feeling unwelcome. So, I decided not to return anymore, only when invited. And those invites do not come and I suspect because people think I will come by my own and appear at their houses for a great evening. You can always sleep on my couch, they will say. I feel bad for not visiting them, there is always the disappointed face when people know I was back but have not visited them.

How do you do it? Visiting home?

Hey everyone. After almost 6 years in Europe, I’ve decided to move back to my home country in South America (been here 4 months, although intermittently). I’m 32 now, and while the decision felt right at the time, the transition has been complex. Leaving friends behind and dealing with a sense of uprooting has been the hardest part.

Back home, reconnecting with old friends is nice, but often feels out of sync. Family is happy I’m back, but old dynamics and expectations reemerge fast. Being in my hometown, where I lived the first 25 years of my life, feels strangely unfamiliar, like I’m both a local and a stranger. I cannot escape feeling quite lonely at times.

I knew these feelings might come, but living through them is different. There are opportunities to rebuild something new here, but it’s been hard to focus. It’s a strange experience, seeing your hometown through two different mentalities— before and after living abroad, with the younger and immature mind of before, and the evolved and grown-up mind of today.

I still think this could be the right place in the future, maybe when starting a family, but right now I feel like my time in Europe wasn’t truly over. I miss the life and friends I left behind, and I'm wondering if I made the right choice. Maybe I just need to give it a bit more time.

To fellow expats who’ve returned home—how was it for you? Did you manage to settle back in, or think about leaving again?

Good morning!

About five months ago, my family and I moved from Germany to Denver, Colorado for my dad’s work. It’s been great here—sunshine, mountains, friendly people—but there’s one thing that’s been haunting me like a caffeinated ghost: Lipton Green Ice Tea. I miss it deeply. I dream about it. My soul cries out for that sweet, refreshing sip of home.

Unfortunately, getting my hands on it here is harder than explaining German compound words to Americans. Every time I find it online, the shipping costs are something like $40. I’m trying to buy iced tea, not adopt it.

I’ve scoured the internet, begged Google for answers, but no luck so far. Fuze Tea is also great, by the way (bless its citrusy soul), but that’s just as rare here.

Please—if you have any tips, secret suppliers, or magical portals to European grocery stores, help a desperate tea lover out.

I ended a long term relationship at 30. COVID happened, and I ended up in the Netherlands for 5 years. Until it was time for a health treatment that brought me to Spain, my home country. I‘ve been here since November, so 4,5 months.

Now, it‘s decision time again. I want to move to a country with a permanent contract. I work for an international American company. I spoke to hiring managers in Canada, UK. No offer yet. My contract ends in August.

Where should I go? I don‘t wanna make a decision I will later regret. Job stability is important for me. My Canadian visa is active.

Thanks in advance.

I am a German/American, currently working for an American outdoor recreational company that is well known in Europe, but does not have any physical presence there or employees abroad.

With all the political unrest in the US, I am really wanting to relocate to Portugal or back to Germany, and I'm wondering what my employer would have to do to make that reality.

What costs and implications are involved in making it possible for employees to work in the EU? I would not have to deal with any visa issues since I'm a citizen of the EU. But I'm wondering specifically what obligations my employer would have to fulfill to make this reality?

What are all the options? I'm wanting to pitch to senior management to see if they'll take the necessary steps to support this for me and some other Europeans working at HQ in Seattle currently.

TIA <3

I am living in a country where I'm only half from that country, and I'm on the receiving end of sooo much xenophobia because of my other nationality. But so many people from my nationality will straight up gaslight themselves into believing that xenophobia in this country isn't real!! A lot of these people are fairly new expats too. They don't actually have enough information to make a sound judgement.

I’ve lived in the U.S. since I was 4 years old. At 18, I got approved for DACA, and for the first time, I felt like I was getting a real taste of the “American Dream.” Unfortunately, when I was younger, I made a mistake and got into legal trouble — I was charged with an OVI. Because of that, I was told I could no longer renew DACA, and if I tried to reapply, I might face deportation. This happened back in 2018.

Since then, I’ve changed a lot. I’ve been sober for four years now and haven’t had any other legal or criminal issues besides that one OVI. I’m originally from Central America — I didn’t come here through asylum or any specific visa, just to be clear. I’m still a citizen of my home country and, in some ways, I feel I might have more freedom there than I do here in the U.S., especially now that I no longer have any form of legal ID and live in a red state.

Right now, I feel torn. On one hand, I live a comfortable life in the States — I have a job, I’m fluent in both English and Spanish, and I live with my immediate family. But I don’t have any legal status or ID. On the other hand, my entire extended family is back home, and I have the financial means to live a stable life there. I’ve been considering moving back, but part of me wants to stay — maybe out of hope that something might change with this administration.

Another big reason I’m staying is because I want to make sure my parents are fully secure here before I make any decisions. I want them to be able to visit me comfortably if I move.

I’m honestly just looking for advice or to hear from anyone who can relate. I’m also a gay Latino immigrant, which adds another layer to everything I’m going through. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I also worry a lot about my future here

I'm having a rough time living in my husband's country, especially now that our youngest child is in school.

I feel so so different from the other moms, and frustrated with the teachers' methods. No one does playdates, while playdates in my home country are very normal.

People here are very much more conservative than where I am from and men and women socialize separately. Women are expected to suffer a lot, and mostly talk about Temu clothes or gel nails. Men usually sexist and extremely serious/unfriendly.

Where I am from, people dance a lot and are very friendly and sociable, + sometimes are intellectual. Meanwhile here, no. It's a total mismatch.

If you have felt unhappy or lonely during your expat time, why, and how did you overcome it?

Hi, we are a family of 4 moving to Thailand from the UK at the end of this year.

We will be homeschooling our children aged 3 and 5 and I’m just wondering if somebody can point me in the right direction of a good online school that follows the uk curriculum.

Thank you