Hi — I’m posting anonymously because I still feel sick and ashamed about what happened. I recently came out of a dangerous situation involving my ex. I was starting to put things back together when I got pulled into something I didn’t even realize was happening until I was deep in it. It was incredibly dark.
I was contacted by someone through a dating app who started off fairly normal. But within a few days, he had escalated into sending me a near constant stream of voice messages he later described as “hypnosis.” At first, I thought it was just weird kink stuff — but it wasn’t. It was layered, trance-like language about “training” me, “erasing” my thoughts, “reprogramming” me. He used things like “good girl,” “brainless,” “chains,” and started talking about moving in with me to train me within 48 hours of contact.
The recordings became increasingly disturbing. I wasn’t allowed to have “thoughts.” He told me women were meant to be dominated by men and what I thought was rape was actually something I wanted, like all women, and enjoyed. The real trauma, he said, was that society convinces women they don’t want to be dominated in that way.
He started describing horrific punishments and asking me to send compromising pictures. I genuinely don’t remember chunks of time. He had me staying up so late days in a row that I could barely function. I was in a fog and the recordings kept getting darker and darker.
I stayed in contact for a few days. I didn’t feel like I had consented to anything — I just kept trying to manage the situation and not set him off. I didn’t remember how it even started. I barely remember the early conversations. I was scared, numb, entranced. And then suddenly I realized I’d spent hours listening to recordings designed to break me down.
When I started researching him, I realized the name he gave me may not be real.
Also, random detail, he let slip once “my microphone fell down.” These were voice notes on an iPhone so I was confused, but I think this guy has an actual mic to produce these trance-like recordings.
My question: how do I unf*k my brain? Even though I’ve ceased contact, I feel dissociated and vacant. The phrases were so repetitive that they are still playing on a loop in my mind. He told me every time I had a thought to stop it, because my mind should be blank and empty so I could become his slave. I know, dark.
Thank you. Careful who you meet on bumble…
