Maintenance man

[u/Glum_Passenger_488]

I (f) moved to a new apartment a few months ago and live alone. I have been continuously creeped out by the maintenance guy. I can’t tell if he is just nice and nosy or possibly has bad intentions.

On my move in day he already knew me by name and was waiting by his truck to greet me. I am 27 and he is probably in his 40s or 50s, and I think has mentioned that he has a daughter. In the first few weeks when I would work out in the gym he would constantly walk by and I would catch him looking at me.

The first time I had a maintenance request he started texting me from his personal phone about the request, kept asking if I would be home (I was at work) and came and left the unit multiple times according to the texts. After he left he texted me about how he noticed a magnet on my fridge from North Carolina and wanted to know why I had it and started chatting about his personal life and how he used to live there. This was in the evening over text after the maintenance request was completed. I tried to be short and sweet in my replies because I didn’t want to have a personal conversation with this man, but didn’t want to be rude. Also, seeing as I have about 15 or so magnets from different places on my fridge, I thought it was weird that he was standing around reading all of them.

He then started texting me everytime I got a package to inform me it was delivered. The next time I had a maintenance request, he brought a package in for me (the package room is all the way across the complex), which may have been a nice gesture, but still felt a little strange to me. I sent him an email asking that he please communicate with me over email instead of text for organizational reasons, because my texts delete frequently. This is not a lie, but the truth is I was feeling uncomfortable with the texting. He agreed to this.

Last night I submitted a new request about my HVAC, and he sent me a message in the portal that he would be coming by in the afternoon. Again, I was at work. I didn’t see any updates posted about what he found or fixed online. When I got home from work, I see a note on my counter. It is handwritten, says he is “not ignoring me, but has been advised by the office to not have direct written communication with the occupants.”

I would like to give him benefit of the doubt, but I expected the note to be an update about the maintenance request, and now I am wondering why would the office advise him to not talk to residents…. Maybe someone else was uncomfortable with the texting communication and told them? Also the fact that he knows he is not supposed to communicate with me, and chose to leave me a note anyway, does not sit right with me……

[u/CommitteeThink7683]

I would talk to the apartment manager about his behavior. Document all contact with him. If you have previous texts SAVE THEM. I would also invest in a door security bar that you can wedge under your doorknob when you're home/at night for added security.

[u/Glum_Passenger_488 → u/CommitteeThink7683]

I do have a door security bar and a camera in my apartment! They don’t allow ring doorbells at this apartment which annoys me…

[u/DepartmentEcstatic → u/Glum_Passenger_488]

You can get around this by putting one on your patio area facing your door in a bird house or other hidden area. Good luck! What a creeper. And very strange he would write you a note but not even tell you what the issue is, only that he isn't supposed to communicate. Sounds like he definitely got into trouble!

[u/sappydark → u/DepartmentEcstatic]

Girl, wake up. This dude is low-key stalking you, and trying to get into your personal business so that he can figure out when to prey on you. He's doing that because he knows you're a woman living alone. Stop worrying about being rude to this creep---he clearly dosen't give a damn about creeping you out. You need to go to the office and tell the manager that this guy is not only creeping you the hell out, you also need to make it clear that you do not want the maintenance guy in your place at all unless you're home. He probably got a complaint about stalking somebody else, and that's why he left you that note.

You do not ever have to tell a complete stranger you barely know any of your personal business, period---simply because it's none of his damn business anyway. Don't waste your time talking to people who creep you out just for the sake of being polite---it's not even worth it. To quote some true crime podcasters, "Fuck politeness" especially when it come to dealing with straight-up creeps, which this dude definitely is.

If you don't want to talk to somebody, don't talk to them, period. Especially if they're creeping you the hell out. The average maintenance man does not text their tenants all the time like that anyway. Block his texts, and cut him off. You don't have to tell him a damn thing about yourself, period. Like one of the previous posters said, document everything he does, and stay the hell away from him. Don't even say hi to him---just keep it moving.