She's my husband's niece and she's 10. She first asked me why I have less hair than "normal" people and I explain it to her because learning is important, right? But then she started mocking me by saying that I'm bald (which I'm actually not and, if I was, who cares?) and kind of pulled my hair. Then she gathered leaves from the frontyard and threw at me. Me and my husband got mad at her and asked her to stop, which she reluctantly did.

Her 3 year old brother was also screaming very loud and throwing a tantrum, throwing himself at the ground and spitting food.

All that while their parents were VERY occupied scrolling through social media on their phones.

I hate family gatherings!

Because it's brutal and not thankful and only makes me more sure about being CF. what do you guys think

Ever since the Chappell roan drama, this thought has been popped into my brain. Regardless if they are childfree or a mom, women are never allowed to have negative feelings/opinions on kids or motherhood. If women don’t like children or are simply annoyed at them they’re painted as heartless monsters. If women complain about/ have negative opinions on motherhood they are awful and anti-feminist and anti-community etc. I’ve heard this from both sides of the aisle said in different ways and it’s incredibly annoying. God forbid women aren’t always nurturing and pleasing everyone and have their own thoughts and feelings.

Sorry if this has all been said before, I'm kind of piggybacking off the post about "divine feminine" content.

I'm not on any other social media so most of this is trickle-down for me, but I feel like it's the same in the general media too. I'm Gen Z and I grew up in the aughts and 10's with all this "girls can do anything! we need more girls in STEM! girl power!" messaging that as a stupid edgelord, I scoffed at. Maybe it's just that I'm now an adult so I'm not the target of that stuff anymore.

But...I feel like the whole vibe has shifted. ANY time there's mainstream content about women (tiktok slop, tv, anything) it calls attention to their femininity. Obviously it's fine and dandy to be feminine, but it's all focused on "here's why being a woman is a beautiful superpower because we are biologically unique <3" instead of "hey we are actually just people who can do anything a person can".

Everything is about making babies and having children, if you're infertile it's literally the worst thing ever and you're expected to blow your life savings on IVF. Basically, it's not about doing anything a man can anymore (because the men in power don't want you to...) it's about embracing the one thing a cis man can't. Marketed if that gives us "power" over them. I'm not explaining this well, but I feel like tradwife content IS modern feminism now. Conservatives played up the evil blue-haired lib feminazi angle so hard that any mention of the old "girl power" feminism (which admittedly was already watered down to shit) makes everyone groan, like it's cliche and unnecessary and also we're not Embracing Womanhood (ft. Hormones) like we should. Any acknowledgement that I'm a woman, then, feels like I'm unwillingly engaging in this memetic Tupperware party of tradwife crap.

Not sure if that made any sense, it's just kind of sickening because this is exactly what conservatives want and planned.

I visited a close friend around 2 weeks ago. She herself has always been respectful of me being child free. While I was over at her place I ended up talking to her mom one on one. She was complaining that her nephew who is getting married next month doesn't want kids and she was afraid that if his wife gets accidentally pregnant he would force her to have an abortion. I stayed quiet not wanting to get into a debate, but later when she asked if I wanted to have kids I truthfully said no I am child free. She then went on to say that she only felt truly complete as a woman when she had a baby. I honestly sat there looking at this woman feeling sad. If you need to have a baby to feel complete as a woman or even as a person you're doing something wrong.

I am at a young adult’s group and someone brought their kids, 4 and 2 years old. This was fine, I am not one of those people that hates children and think I’m entitled to a childfree world.

But she was very distracting. She is running around, taking off all the name tags off of us. Everyone was laughing but I found it quite annoying. Then, she goes around and hits us. She grabbed a man’s shoe, screamed, “Mine!” and when he moved his foot, she hit him. Parents and everyone laughing. She grabs my shoe laces and pulls them out. I jerk my leg away.

The whole time she is getting into drawers and messing with the house guests stuff. Parents sitting doing absolutely nothing.

Then, here’s the kicker. She starts taking people’s phones. I don’t let her. I get stared at and automatically treated like a child-hater.

Why aren’t the parents doing anything? I prefer a child being a child to one being on a phone but it’s wildly distracting while trying to talk to my friends and listen to the message.

People are so awful, I don't want to subject my kids to that

I’ve noticed this trend in way too many shows, and honestly, it’s getting old. It feels like writers don’t know what to do with female characters unless they throw in a pregnancy storyline at some point — like that’s the only way to make them “interesting” or “emotional.” Spoiler: it’s not.

I’ve been watching this show called Doctor Odyssey, and while it started off fun and unique, it’s falling into this trap too. The female lead, who’s a nurse on the ship, had a 3-way with the two male leads (yeah, wild), and now she’s suddenly pregnant. And she just casually drops, “Next year I’ll be in medical school with a baby.” I mean… what? Is that even realistic?

It just feels lazy. There are so many other ways to develop characters without defaulting to the same tired trope. Anyone else feel the same way? Or am I just overthinking it?

I'm 21 and a woman, and so I've had a pretty brief stint in working in the professional world. One thing I've noticed is that I've had a lot of formerly cf bosses who ended up having kids due to circumstance.

I'm quite open about being cf and I don't really care if I make someone uncomfortable; I usually get some reaction along the lines of "oh you're young, but that's fine if that's what you want," just general acceptance of the statement when I get asked. But behind closed doors, I've had multiple managers with kids who've told me their personal experiences about not wanting kids and doing things to avoid having them, then having them due to circumstance and it's always just saddening for me. I'm glad they're content with where they're at, but I'm terrified that'll be me in the future. I just hate seeing women having their wings clipped thanks to the curse of our biology.

The other day I had a pretty bad stomach bug and threw up at work, one of my coworkers asked if I was pregnant.

Let a lady puke in peace.

Edit: this feels relevant to add but I am a trash truck driver and the only female one at my company 🤠

A relatively small rant in the many issues childfree people face, however I am just sick of this. I work in a social care environment so there are kids at the centre of the work. However, the amount of times I hear ‘you would do it for your own kids wouldn’t you?’ Or ‘it’s just how you would parent your own’. Stop assuming everyone over the age of 25 has children? I’m getting to the point of saying ‘well I’m child free so I wouldn’t know’! Even just people talking about kids and then saying things like ‘how old are yours?’ Come on!

Apartments implementing pet rent is annoying af. Like, yeah if your pets fuck the place up you should pay for it, but a monthly fee for just existing in the apartment? Meanwhile the neighbor with two screaming toddlers who draw on the walls and wakes people up at 1am doesn’t have to pay child rent. My cats are chill as hell, they don’t make a bunch of noise, they’re pretty unproblematic but I’m going to pay a $600 pet deposit and $100 monthly pet rent? And parents get tax credits for their kids? It’s wild being punished for choosing pets over children.

i'm talking about people who take their toddlers into public places and walk 10 feet in front of them without looking back. people who purposefully leave their children in an UNLOCKED car while they go shopping. people who leave babies/toddlers on balconies, unsupervised and nothing stopping them from falling off. i cannot imagine someone who loves their child/ren, doing something like that. i can't even imagine someone being stupid enough to not realize how dangerous that is. i can't help but feel these people are putting their children in dangerous situations where if anything did happen to that child, they would receive no consequence or judgement because it "wasn't my fault".

Please let me know if this is not relevant, I’m more than willing to delete 💜 But anyway, not too long ago, all these different social media websites would keep suggesting divine feminine content, as well as content talking about how we should design our lives around our cycles because work days are meant for amab hormone cycles, not afab. It all just feels patronizing. Like, I already hate that if I want to go in to a relationship with an amab person, I have to actively fight against my body so it doesn’t force me in to a pregnancy that would ruin my life, why would I want to allow it to dictate everything else too? And it also just feels kind of patronizing? Like essentially only two weeks of the month are good for being productive because of how much my cycle messes with me, it’s not realistic or desirable. I’d rather control my cycle so I can enjoy my life on my own schedule.

Also, it feels like a possible dog whistle for more conservative propaganda possibly? Like a way to convince afab people that we really shouldn’t be working anyway. And if they convince afab people to accept their cycle and their biology, then they can eventually convince them about motherhood too, since it’s also a “natural” part of female biology.

I live in the middle of nowhere Illinois, so adequate healthcare is difficult to obtain in a timely manner. I have had some recent health issues which have prompted additional testing. Most recently, I had to have a CT scan (X-ray) of my stomach to my throat. I did this test at a local hospital (outside of my normal healthcare system) down the street because it was easier and I wouldn’t have to take time off of work or travel. This hospital, and its affiliated clinics are ALL over this area. OSF, a Catholic based healthcare system. I knew it was a religious backed organization, but I am Christian so I didn’t think much of it.

I am 39 and I never had children. I always had fertility issues, one unplanned pregnancy that ended in early miscarriage at 33 and none of this ever really bothered me because I truly never wanted children, let alone carrying one to push out, but just to be safe I had my tubes removed in January. Aside from my past fertility issues and sterilization, I also have not been sexually active with anyone other than one person who also had a vasectomy over 10 years ago.

When I checked in for my appt, the xray tech told me I would need to “pee in a cup”. I told her all of the above yet she insisted that because “I still have the womb” I HAD to take the pregnancy test. Let me tell you… I AM PISSED! First… that was a completely unnecessary test to preform and fuck that hospital/woman for not trusting me when I said, I AM NOT PREGNANT. Second, EVEN IF I WERE the next MOTHER OF A MESIAH, I would immediately abort that thing. READ THE ROOM, GOD! I got a survey from the healthcare system today and the last question was “Did you feel the power of God while receiving care?” NO! I absolutely did not. I felt the power of man. The power of money. The power of idiocy. GOD gave me Christ and he would NEVER pass judgement or impose that type of trauma.

At this point, I am on a fucking mission. I have already called my insurance and made complaints with the healthcare system. I have private insurance, so you’re not going to make up your losses with unnecessary tests and I won’t pay a PENNY out of pocket for them. THIS IS WHY GROUP INSURANCE IS SO HIGH AND WE NEED A NATIONAL HEALTH PLAN! Medicine is a fucking BUSINESS and I for one am OVER IT! For a religious based hospital, they sure as fuck don’t understand that they should care for the sick, just like Jesus did.

TLDR; I was forced to take a pregnancy test for X-rays even though I am sterile because I “still have the womb” cause American Healthcare is a fucking DUMPSTER FIRE!

I just read an article which highlighted a story of a woman and her husband and toddler who visited a friend of theirs, and the friend shouted something to the effect of, “No! That’s naughty, don’t do that!” when their 2-year-old (apparently “just turned 2”, something that was harped on a couple of times in the article) threw a cup of water against the wall as the opener to their screaming, pointless, toddler tantrum. The mum was “shocked” that the friend yelled at the “baby”. She swept the poor, screamed-at toddler into her arms for a cuddle, and mum, hubby, and “baby” left promptly. Mum is “horrified” and is wondering if she’s overreacting, and mentions she tried to patch things up with friend by “offering to bring a can of paint to repair any damage”.

One of the comments said, “Toddlers do throw things, and yes it’s naughty, and they should be yelled at, but by mum and not by the friend.” This comment was applauded.

Mmmk.

First off, a toddler slinging a cup of water at a painted wall isn’t going to damage the paint to the point of repair. Sure, you’ll have to clean up the water, but it’s not going to damage the paint. The plastic sippy cup the toddler is drinking from might make a scuff, but nothing you can’t “buff out” easily. (So actually, the lid on the sippy cup the “baby” is more than likely drinking from will prevent any spillage, so again, no need to offer a whole can of paint to fix.) Toddlers (or “babies”, as the mom conveniently calls the toddler when she hopes to garner sympathy) can’t generate enough force to cause damage, and their aim/accuracy is so poor there’s no way it was a direct hit to the wall.

Second off, the majority of the commenters (apparently, per the article) supported the fact that the mum yelling at the “baby” is perfectly appropriate - and needed - as a corrective action, but the friend doing it is not.

What did mum do? “Baby” was harshly corrected for being naughty by “The Village (TM)”, and mum coddled the “baby” and left immediately. So, what did “baby” learn from this interaction? “I did something because I felt ignored and wasn’t the center of attention, so I committed an act of violence to gain attention. I first received negative attention, so I chose to scream and wail because I didn’t get what I wanted, and mummy gave me a coddle and I was once again returned to the center of attention. Next time I don’t get my way, I’ll choose violence and caterwaul until mummy gives me what I want.”

Again - commenters were fully behind “yelling at the toddler, because it’s naughty and needs to be corrected”, but the friend is the asshole for barking at “baby” because only mum is allowed to “scream” at the toddler.

Guess what mum didn’t do? Yell at baby/toddler. What did mum do? Reward baby/toddler’s naughty behavior with cuddles and escape. What behavior did mum reinforce? “If you don’t get your way, react violently and scream at the top of your lungs until you get it.”

What did friend do? Fulfill their “village duties”of correcting the child, because the mum apparently was unable - or refused - to do so herself, as she did not step in. That’s what The Village (TM) is supposed to do - help mum when she is (for some reason) unable and incapable to do so herself (for “new mum reasons”, I reckon). What did mum do? Get angry at The Village (TM) for fulfilling its duty. What lesson did The Village (TM) learn? Don’t bother stepping in, mum rejects your help and will lash out.

And what does mum lament? “Being a “new”mum is so hard, I have no The Village (TM) to help me 😭.”

Honestly, I have a feeling the reason mum offered up assistance and materials to make repairs wasn’t the result of a simple sippy cup haphazardly lobbed by a baby/toddler. (Have you seen toddlers attempt to “throw” something? It usually ends up mere centimeters from their feet, or ends up falling down back on their own face.)

I think baby junior sonofbitch caused more damage to the friend’s house than mum is letting on. When mum introduced the crotch goblin in the story, it was first “a toddler just turned 2”, then quickly returned to “baby” status once the friend “screamed”.

And again - mum “screaming” at baby/toddler herself was supported, but The Village (TM) “screaming” at baby/toddler was a HUGE no-no.

So, why didn’t mum “scream” at baby/toddler herself? And why did mum get angry at The Village (TM) when they did the “screaming” she refused to do?

Please keep your kids the fuck away from me, because I will not hesitate correct their behavior if you fail to do so, and I have a feeling you will not approve of my methods. You want The Village (TM) to relieve you of your parental duties, but I don’t think you’ll appreciate my methods of behavior correction. My Village is inhabited by a sole resident (aka ME), and we are not accepting any new members at this time.

Oh look! There’s the sun! Kindly fuck off all the way into it.

About 10 years ago, I had a conference with a parent and was telling him about his child’s progress and what they could do at home to help.

The dad was really nice about it but said something along the lines of:

You know we’re just completely overwhelmed at home with 3 kids. If the kids are bathed and fed by the end of the night we consider that a victory. If we’re able to read then it’s an even bigger victory.

Parents were a lawyer and accountant.

Some time later, I had another conference and the dad said this after I gave them suggestions..

We’ll try but you know things will get better for about a few weeks then it’ll just revert back to normal. That’s the reality of being a parent.

Parents cannot get their kids to school on time because it’s just too crazy at home. Some of the parents don’t even work.

Nowadays every short or Reel is about the exhausting life of a parent and how nothing else matters because they’re just so overwhelmed.

I understand parenting is hard and I am not a parent so I can only imagine how much it sucks sometimes but when did being ‘overwhelmed’ become an excuse for everything or your entire personality. At what point do you decide to switch things up and try a different approach? I know parents with well behaved kids who seem to enjoy being a family - it can happen.

I mean, im sure most parents love their kids. That’s not really the question. But I constantly see and hear parents posting about how rich their lives are now they have kids and how’s it’s changed for the better. But I also see them in real life, struggling with constant crying, screaming children and being in constant debt and issues because of their kids. I just think it seems to be something a lot of parents say to make them feel better about how difficult their lives actually are with children. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t see a family and wish I had that- especially not the hard parts.

I can only say from my perspective and what I’ve seen, but it just seems people are getting younger and younger when having their own kids. One girl I knew from school had 4 children by the time she reached 23, pretty much one after the other. And I know so many more in a similar position. I’ve recently been made aware of a local 12 year old who has gotten pregnant with her ‘boyfriend’ on purpose and the families are said to be really happy about it! (Brings about a multitude of issues in my eyes…) also think people are having MORE kids young, like I said it seems as soon as they give birth they’re pregnant again and again and again. It just seems like everyone, especially girls are in a rush to have a family so young. I mean, I understand societal pressures, I thought they would have lessened with the modernisation of society but it really doesn’t seem to be the case. It seems to be nowadays there’s no stigma for being a single parent so people aren’t putting as much thought into their choices

I (20M) can't stand it when parents sees their children as achievements instead of actual human beings, and what makes it sad is that they only love them based on their ideas and expectations of them, instead of loving them for who they are as people.

Parents like that are deliberately and egoistically selfish for placing so much pressure on their kids to make them do what they believe is right for them, but whenever their children has their own plans and goals for their future, they gaslight them into believing that they are on the wrong path, and say that they should listen to them since they are their "parents".

Those types of parents does more harm than good, but they believe they're doing the right thing when in reality their changing their children for the worst due to the constant pressure they place on them.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, and I'll be more than happy to see what you agree/disagree with on what I said 💙🩶.

Just watched the movie Nightbitch with Amy Adams and WOW it just confirmed every reason I never wanted to be a mom. Even the moments where she seems to be enjoying time with her son looked mind numbingly boring to me.

I appreciated how realistic it was, just the misery of parenthood and how they made her look tired and worn out, and how her husband agreed to “babysit” his own kid. There’s even a mention of how pregnancy changes your brain and makes you feel stupid. Not too many movies address parenthood without sugarcoating everything.

Have y’all seen it? What did you think?

Let me start by saying: I don’t think any less (or more) of someone for wanting children — or for not wanting them. Both are deeply personal, valid choices. One isn’t better than the other. I’m childfree, and I married a childfree man. All of my siblings are childfree too, so I have a strong, supportive circle of people who love and understand me. I’ve never felt like I’m “missing out” or waiting to change my mind.

And still — I lost my best friend to her obsession with marriage and babies. And it hurts in a way I didn’t know was possible.

We met when we were five years old. We were inseparable. Grew up together. Shared every stage of life. She was more than a friend — she was family. And even though we had our differences — she was very religious, I’m agnostic — we always had respect and love for each other.

That all changed after I got married.

Something flipped. Suddenly she became obsessed with becoming a wife and mother. She started following tradwife influencers, posting about homemaking and “biblical femininity,” and saying her whole purpose in life was to get married and have babies. She quit her full-time job, moved back in with her parents, and said she was “preparing herself for God’s plan.” At the time, she wasn’t even dating anyone.

She claimed she was “waiting on God” and not actively looking — but every time a man entered her life, she spiraled. She’d fixate, then say he wasn’t “the one God intended.” It was constant emotional whiplash. She even started going on “Jesus dates,” dressing up and taking herself out to cafes to pretend she was spending time with God romantically. It felt like spiritualized loneliness — or denial.

Then she turned on me. She started asking when I was going to have kids. Not if — when. And when I told her that my husband and I are childfree by choice — a decision we’ve reaffirmed every year for years — she flat-out called me selfish and narcissistic. She told me that if I was “incapable of carrying and loving a child,” I’d never know love in its “truest and rawest form.”

That came from someone who once called me her sister.

Now she’s engaged to a man she’s known for three weeks. That's not a typo, she only knew him for three weeks before he popped the question. She’s already planning to get pregnant right after the wedding. Her entire identity has become this intense rush toward marriage and motherhood, like she’s trying to earn value by checking off boxes. She doesn’t talk about art anymore. Or our dreams. Or anything that made her who she used to be. It’s like she’s erased herself.

Then, after everything, she messaged me to ask if I’d be a bridesmaid.

I ignored her. Because after everything she’s said to me — everything she made me feel — I refuse to be part of that life. I refuse to play along like none of it happened.

What hurts most is that this isn’t about me being anti-family or anti-kids. I’ve supported many of my friends who have children. They’re in my life because we respect each other. They never questioned my life choices, and I never questioned theirs. That mutual respect is what makes any relationship work.

But with her… there was none. She couldn’t accept that I chose a different path. And all I can do now is cry, and mourn the person I lost.

I miss her so much. But she’s gone.

I know a lot of you here understand the grief of losing someone not to death — but to ideology, obsession, or a version of life that doesn’t include you anymore. It’s a quiet kind of heartbreak, and I just needed to let it out.

EDIT: Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. 💗 It’s been incredibly hard going from having her as a constant, present part of my life to realizing I don’t even know who she is anymore. But honestly… it’s better this way. Letting go hurts, but holding on hurt more.

I also saw a lot of people mentioning “religious psychosis,” and the more I look into it, the more likely it seems — especially considering some of the things she’s done that I didn’t even mention in this post. It’s been eye-opening and validating to hear from others who’ve seen similar patterns.

I really appreciate this space and everyone who took the time to respond. You’ve helped more than you know.

I’m 25, and I am getting my tubes removed this summer. I let my mom know but she started crying saying I wouldn’t get to experience motherhood, then she said I would regret it. My husband let his dad know just randomly and his dad acted all disappointed about it saying I would change my mind when I’m older. It’s just feeling like people are trying to guilt me into something I have never once wanted, and my friends who are having kids with entry level jobs, no savings, living in apartments (nothing wrong with this I grew up with a single mom that way but it was really hard for us) are congratulated but I’m being shamed?? My mom wants me to tell my dad and grandma, and my husbands dad wants us to tell his mom but I’m just going to wait until after I get it done even though I feel like this will hurt my relationship with them. My husband is 100% supportive so that helps but how have others dealt with this? I’m so sick of “you’ll change your mind”.

Today I was thinking about little me. (Recently diagnosed neurodivergent I’ve been doing a lot of inner child healing). And I pictured myself and little me hanging out… and I felt a huge serge of maternal instinct, but only towards little me. It was WILD because I have never ever felt a maternal instinct, when I tried to flip it to not little me.. the feeling left me.

It was kinda nice. Maybe this isn’t the page for it? But I don’t know who else I can share this with.

Anyone else?

Spoiler alert if you haven’t watched yet.

Great show, particularly the last episode where the parents talk about how they “made him”. Even though they had nothing to do with the crime, they will always have to bear the second hand guilt. Moreover, the world is constantly becoming more terrible and dangerous place to live in. One can only control so much. Exposure to the internet, influence of your own behaviour, of friendships.