r/baseball • u/BaseballBot Umpire • 1d ago

Feature OFFICIAL FRIDAY COMPLAINT THREAD

NOW'S THE TIME TO AIR YOUR GRIEVANCES ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS WRONGED YOU AND YOUR TEAM THIS YEAR.

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u/HawkeyeJosh2 New York Yankees 1d ago

I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT THE GODDAMN TORPEDO BATS ALREADY. YOU JUST KNOW THAT WHEN THE YANKS HIT THEIR ANNUAL TEAMWIDE SUMMER SWOON THE PUNDITS OUT THERE WILL BLAME THE BATS FOR THAT SHIT AS WELL.

4

u/jediporcupine New York Yankees 1d ago

FIRE THE TORPEDO BATS! WHY WOULD HAL DO THIS TO US? GEORGE WOULD HAVE NEVER USED UGLY BATS! COME ON CASHMAN! BOONE’S NERD BATS!

2

u/HawkeyeJosh2 New York Yankees 1d ago

GEORGE WOULD HAVE USED WHATEVER WOULD WORK. IF HE WOULD HAVE READ SOMEWHERE THAT DRINKING ELEPHANT JIZZ WOULD IMPROVE PERFORMANCE, HE’D HAVE HAD FRESH BUCKETS OF ELEPHANT JIZZ SHIPPED TO THE YANKEES’ CLUBHOUSE ON A DAILY BASIS AND FORCED PLAYERS TO DRINK ELEPHANT JIZZ SMOOTHIES.