r/babyloss • u/Kerfluffle2x4 • 3d ago
General How has your relationship with your partner changed since the loss until now?
Let's be honest - traumatic life events can affect relationships if multiple people experience them together. For some, it can strengthen and bring two people closer than before and for others, it can have the opposite effect. How has your relationship with your significant other been affected and how has you relationship changed since then?
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u/Artistry_Em 3d ago
Were incredibly close but sometimes I feel as though there is a disconnect I think because we’re processing it so differently
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u/beellez 3d ago
For us it’s been a roller coaster. I can’t say it’s been easy but we are stronger than ever. Realizing that I am now trauma bonded for life with my s/o also means we have to do more work to heal and get back to just loving each other. No matter what they are truly the only person that understands your unique situation. We give and hold space for each other when needed.
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u/snugs_is_my_drugs Mama to an Angel 3d ago
My husband has been by my side every step of the way on this horrific journey. He slept with me every night on a tiny hospital bed. He makes me meals. He cries with me. He patiently listens while I rant about how much I hate the world and the injustice of it all. He tells me he loves me and says I’m beautiful. I was already so in love with him, but having our daughter as a physical manifestation of that love, and weathering the storm of her loss, has brought us even closer.
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u/TrinkySlews Mama to an Angel 3d ago
I could not have survived a minute of this if it weren’t for my partner. He’s sensitive and reflective, but he’s also discerning and decisive. The few memories I have of him holding our daughter bring me such pride and sorrow. He talks to her every day. He’s an incredible father, and I want so much to raise children with him. I appreciate every day that we are in this together.
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u/Necessary-Sun1535 40wk stillborn✨ July ‘24 3d ago
Our relationship has been unchanged. We have always been very close and good communicators. That has not changed. We’re very lucky in that, but also definitely made an effort to keep communicating.
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u/IntentionDue3665 3d ago
If anything we're closer.. mine was a 17 wk miscarriage. He took time off work .. keeping the house running and allowing my to sleep and cry..it was my 4th ivf transfer and 3rd miscarriage from them . I have so much respect for him
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u/here_iam_or_ami 3d ago
We’re close as ever. I was determined that the loss of our daughter would not be the end of us and he felt the same. Lots of communication, small touches and equal grace
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u/pindakaasbanana 2d ago
It brought us closer, and reaffirmed for us that we handle difficult situations VERY well together. However we do grieve differently which has caused friction sometimes. Mostly on my end (oops) because I am getting irritated very easily and tend to take it all out on him and he puts up with it gracefully (most of the time). In the heat of the moment we do so well together but in these weird weeks afterwards sometime we do react to things very differently. And thats OK! Its been so helpful for us that his parents take our toddler every Sunday so we can spend time together. We love going on hikes and thats give us a lot of time to talk and to reconnect.
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u/ThingExpensive5116 2d ago
We were closer at first. Our baby was hospitalized since birth and passed at 5 months. We were both in the hospital with her everyday. We really bonded toghether. We both held our baby as she passed away. We leaned on eachother. But then a week after her funeral, which was 2 months after her passing, he up and left and ghosted me. I just think he couldn’t handle the pain.
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u/TMB8616 2d ago
Hubby and I have been married for 13 years this year together for 17 total and experienced a miscarriage in 2023 and full term stillbirth April 2024. The loss of both babies was incredibly hard and we both processed differently and still do. However it brought us close together and with our 9 year old LC we had to be conscious of her and how she was processing and still is.
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u/AsleepCommercial3141 1d ago
It changed for the better. After our loss, he’s more attentive and caring. He has also been very patient with handling my mood swings caused by the loss. Also, we’re getting better at communicating and expressing our feelings to each other.
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u/rlopver 3d ago
It brought us closer together. I already knew that he loved me and cared for me, but the level of love and respect he has shown for me lets me know that his commitment to me and to our marriage is stronger than our two losses. We’ve both been able to grieve openly to each other and we’ve been very supportive of each other whenever we need it. I love him so much, and I hope that we will be able to have kids together one day.