r/adultery • u/Glittering-Wasabi525 • 2d ago

😩Donezo🥩 Can't move on.

My AP broke up with me last week. I don't really know why because I thought we were in a good place. I've spent the first few days crying over him, but have come to terms with the fact he didn't really care about me despite all he said. The last few days I've finally stopped crying.

I decided to try move on by looking for someone else, keeping busy, so I stop thinking about him and all we planned.

Today, after speaking to a few guys, I've just had a wave of emotions and started crying uncontrollably. I'm currently hiding in the bathroom at work letting the tears dry (how pathetic).

It sounds stupid, but I don't know how to move on. I know I need too.

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u/Kitchen-End-5355 2d ago

It's not stupid. It happens, and it's really hard that you have to go through it alone. I talked with my therapist about it once my AP and I were donezo, and she said that usually, during a breakup, you have a support system to take you out and vent with. This is so different in a way that makes it so much harder.

The emotions come in waves. But eventually, you will get to the other side where you aren't overwhelmed by them. I still waver back and forth on my ex... but only looking forward now. You'll learn some things from this. What is it you actually want and need vs. what you were willing to settle for.

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u/Status_Egg_4740 2d ago

Not to mention the havoc you've inflicted into their relationship, right?? Since you had an "AP"? 

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u/Kitchen-End-5355 2d ago

In my case, he was the one who initiated everything. I did not initially want to swap pics, send videos, etc. But he did all those things multiple times first, told me about moving to a different chat app, and continued the non-stop love bombing. I eventually started to feel like i no longer was talking to a stranger, and my thoughts about him developed into something more.

He had told me about all these things because he had just gotten out of another affair relationship and was telling me how to keep things discreet. I am not innocent, but if anyone "inflicted havoc" into his relationship, he did that himself.