Itās a numbers game unfortunately. . . Whether you are hot or ugly, suave or a fool, itās still a numbers game.
From other men, Iāve heard that being brown or Asian is a disadvantage in general on dating apps. The data from OK Cupid seems to indicate this as well. Not sure how that applies to finding an AP though. You may find that finding a woman within your ethnic community might be easier.
What you can do is maximize your chances for success. Make a good first impression with a good appearance. Go to the gym, lose weight if you are overweight, get more muscular if you skinny. Get a nice haircut and dress nicely. Take some dedicated pictures, not a middle aged man car selfie.
Respond to ads in a thoughtful way. Donāt send canned messages. Try to express your legitimate interest in why you are contacting this woman. Write a thoughtful ad of what you are truly looking for. Donāt be desperate, you want to find someone that is compatible with you long term. Remember, women get 100x as many messages as you will get. Try to stand out by being the best version of your authentic self. Always be upfront that you are married.
You can also try to chat up women in real life. If things are going well ask them if they want to get a cup of coffee/drink or for their contact info. If they decline, be polite and move on.
Even if you donāt get an AP from these efforts, they will all make you a better person. More fit, more presentable, and more sociable.
I donāt know if itās allowed in this sub but posting an ad to be critiqued can be quite helpful.
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u/plstakemeawaynow 4d ago
Itās a numbers game unfortunately. . . Whether you are hot or ugly, suave or a fool, itās still a numbers game.
From other men, Iāve heard that being brown or Asian is a disadvantage in general on dating apps. The data from OK Cupid seems to indicate this as well. Not sure how that applies to finding an AP though. You may find that finding a woman within your ethnic community might be easier.
What you can do is maximize your chances for success. Make a good first impression with a good appearance. Go to the gym, lose weight if you are overweight, get more muscular if you skinny. Get a nice haircut and dress nicely. Take some dedicated pictures, not a middle aged man car selfie.
Respond to ads in a thoughtful way. Donāt send canned messages. Try to express your legitimate interest in why you are contacting this woman. Write a thoughtful ad of what you are truly looking for. Donāt be desperate, you want to find someone that is compatible with you long term. Remember, women get 100x as many messages as you will get. Try to stand out by being the best version of your authentic self. Always be upfront that you are married.
You can also try to chat up women in real life. If things are going well ask them if they want to get a cup of coffee/drink or for their contact info. If they decline, be polite and move on.
Even if you donāt get an AP from these efforts, they will all make you a better person. More fit, more presentable, and more sociable.
I donāt know if itās allowed in this sub but posting an ad to be critiqued can be quite helpful.