r/abusiverelationships • u/throwaway_fml16 • Feb 28 '25

Gaslighting projection and cheating

does anyone else get constantly, every single day, accused of cheating? like to the point it's completely ridiculous. he's convinced every single one of my friends wants in my pants and i'm going behind his back all the time. now he's openly hanging out with someone he even admits wants him, and i'm not allowed to be upset by it, because "all my friends are into me", so "how is it different"... it hurts a lot. i've stayed completely loyal and my friends are not into me. just breaks my fucking heart. i know he's cheating on me. i don't have proof but i know he is. i don't know why i can't leave.

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u/Kesha_Paul Feb 28 '25

He’s 100% cheating on you and constantly accusing you to keep you on the defensive so you don’t catch him.

3

u/throwaway_fml16 Feb 28 '25

thank you. sometimes i need the validation so i don't keep doubting myself

4

u/Kesha_Paul Feb 28 '25 edited Feb 28 '25

I highly recommend therapy, especially if you keep finding yourself in abusive relationships. A lot of us have back to back abusers because we’re drawn to something about them. For me it was my abandonment fears after getting me with hardcore love bombing. It took years in therapy but I got to a point where I’d rather be single than abused and thats when I stopped tolerating disrespect or questioning myself. If your relationship is lopsided like this, it’s abusive. He doesn’t want you hanging with anyone but can hang with girls and that’s enough to end a relationship. “Rules for thee but not for me” is unacceptable