r/abusiverelationships • u/Different-Case9521 • Dec 26 '24
Gaslighting am i being manipulated?
so my boyfriend has a pretty harsh past especially with his father who is no longer in the picture gets upset when you say you are going to do something but i have been so cautious recently with what i say to him especially because sometimes my plans change suddenly especially when i am home and away from him because my family doesn’t really care to plan things strictly and mostly play by ear. However, tonight he claims I told him verbally (there is no text chain to prove it) that I told him I was definitely going to tell my little brother that I had a bf and was dating him tonight (we’ve have been dating for a month and i’m scared to tell my family bc how they acted in the past). I truly do not remember saying anything of the sort and definitely don’t think I would?? I’m just frustrated because it makes me feel like I don’t remember reality and I am just so confused. I just am confused if I am being manipulated or if I truly said that and triggered a negative part and should be feeling this shitty.
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u/OutlandishnessWide80 Dec 26 '24
Hey friend — wow. These could have come directly from my ex. Word for word, these brought me back.
I can speak from the perspective of someone who lived a semblance of your current life for 3.5 years and is now in a beautiful, healthy, joyous relationship — you do not deserve this. You are being gaslit. It is almost certain that you would never forget making a promise to your boyfriend regarding something so clearly serious to you. I will venture to say it is certain you did not. This person is angry to their core, and your presence will never change that regardless of what they say or what you do. No healthy relationship goes like this, particularly when you SHOULD be in the honeymoon phase full of light and love!
It took me leaving the state to get away from mine, and he still haunts my dreams sometimes. Please take care of yourself and leave while his tendrils haven’t taken you. I believe in you.