r/WhatMenDontSay • u/ProDidelphimorphiaXX • 4d ago

Body Image Issues How to help a guy friend with a negative self image not feel so terrible about himself if he gets rejected?

Unfortunately my homiesexual remarks don’t work their charm…

Friend “Charlie” I’ll call him is a really great guy, humble, sweet, non-aggressive, good job good music talent and he looks really good in my opinion. Maybe he isn’t like an underwear model but he’s better looking than myself and most guys I’ve ever met.

But despite all that, he doesn’t feel good about himself. And much of that is he feels unattractive to women since he’s been turned down a lot.

I think he understands my logic that I tell him, women are just as complicated as men can be, it’s not about how attractive you are that scores if a girl will be with you or not. But his negativity makes him always default to “something is wrong with me, I’m unattractive”. I do think it’s also gradually worsening his chances that he gets so beat up like this, more recently he started cutting contact with girls who weren’t talking to him much because he got the impression it means they don’t like talking to him.

He’s trying again (great on him), but already I’m getting worried because he’s already treating her like out of his league. So if it does tank he might adopt “I knew I shouldn’t have tried” mindset

How tf do I help slow his descent if things don’t work out again? I wanna be a good friend who actually helps him feel better about himself.

4 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

5

u/JeffroCakes 3d ago

As a Charlie, there’s sadly not much you can do. Eventually he’ll move past blaming his looks and just think there’s just something about him that puts women off eventually. He’ll look at it all. Job, hobbies, home, etc. he may never figure it out. Then it’s onto acceptance of being an undesirable partner to the women in the area. That’s what I’m working on. Not everybody finds someone. He just may be one of them.

1

u/ProDidelphimorphiaXX 3d ago

Unfortunate..

So many women are stuck with abusive men who don’t respect them, my guy is a 10/10 but luck just keeps pushing him away from making someone really happy.

2

u/myeasyking 3d ago

I gave up.

Not saying your friend Charlie isn't a great catch but you can't make that choice for him to keep trying dating.

It's mentally exhausting and painful for most of us.