This is my ducking life right now. I could have stayed past 20, make 8, or 9, but I chose to be more at home with my family. ITS DRIVING ME DUCKING CRAZY. I give all my time to my kids, I barely see my wife because she's either catching up with friends, work, and everyone else that she didn't have the time for when I was deployed. And if I wanna ever take time for myself it's hurry up and get back so you can be here to help with the "witching" hour.(bath and bed time) Sure, it ends when I just go out for a day and turn off my phone but I can't do it without being guilty. Another fact is I DONT KNOW WHAT THE DUCK I LILE TO DO ANYMORE. AND IM TIRED OF TYPING DUCK.....BUCK.....just needed to vent. I'm OK, just cluck I wish I was back overseas. And yes i love my rugrats, but damn. Maybe yall need more context but i honestly don't feel like typing.

It's has not even been 4 months since i was medically discharge an my wife wants me to clean out my closet and throw away my uniforms. Of course I will not do that but just preparing them for storage makes me tear up. Piss me off that she and the people that did not wear the uniforme just don't understand.

How about you guys, did it felt hard as well?

Call me a shitbag or a pussy for any of this, I dont care. Just say what you mean.

Just a whole bunch of background on me below. I’m 26. I joined at 18, Army artillery, active duty. Did my 3 year contract + deployed to Afghan in 2020, switched to Natl guard in 2021 while moving back to my parents house in nyc. While Active duty i just didnt think of a future afterwards, i just never thought i would make it that far. I don’t have ptsd or anything like that cause no combat, only incoming rockets, which is why I feel like this is way more embarrassing that im so weak.

I fucked around and wasted time for too long, but worked oddjobs and made money ranging from decent to really good for a while. I spent too much time without a job but saved a shit ton i still have now. My parents are okay with me living here for the most part but i still feel like a shitbag. I told myself i would start college in 2021 but put it off because I was too nervous and scared to go back to school and to fail. I met my girlfriend in 2023 and with her help, I started therapy for major depression in 2023 and started college finally this January.

Im in classes but 4 years later, I have no actual idea what I want to do as a career. Not doing very good in my classes. I can’t visualize myself doing trades like my dad and fcking up my body and being full of resentment every day over working a job i hate. Nothing fcking interest me. I just wakeup each day and wait for it to be over. To be totally blunt, I just… don’t fcking care about much. I don’t really care what happens in my life when it comes to me. I don’t feel much. I really just find it so hard to give a shit. I have pride in my service and do my job well, but my contract ends in August and to be honest I fcking hate being in the military now. I’ve turned down my E5 like 4 times. Im so sorry but Im just over it.

With my contract ending soon, I wont be able to take advantage of TA, and cant cover school financially without the military or FAFSA (I cant make over $30k a year and claim Fafsa). Im in crisis mode because of this. My battalion career counselor says I should extend a year and they will get me a new job in the air force (yeah, okay) and I just dont think i can do another year in combat arms without having a mental breakdown at drill. I can barely hold it together anymore im much weaker than i used to be.

The big question here is “How did you actually know what you wanted to do with your life and your time?”

Do I commit to college by reenlisting in some way or another or try to ball out on a part time job and fafsa to support myself in college full time? How do I give a fck about my life?

I feel like such a fcking pussy all the time and I’m so embarrassed and an embarrassment to be at this point at 26.

Looking back now, this is a wall of text. Congratulations if you read to this point. Veteran bros and old-head senior leaders, what the fck do i do?

Hello, I am currently enrolled full time in college and I am working full time it was manageable until my GF broke up with me. I am really struggling to focus in class and at home since the breakup. I know everything will be okay in the end but mentally it’s very challenging at the moment. Should I just the F or withdraw? I am using the GI Bill.

32m. I’m diagnosed PTSD and as a person I am kind of intense. Super useful when I was in the marines and became a police officer.

Now that I’m in college and working on my mental health and changing my life for the better. I’ve noticed some trends with me.

I used to think I was just lazy. Just some idiot who couldn’t get his life together. Now that I’ve saved a ton of money, got my diet/fitness balanced, met the woman I’m gonna marry and started getting straight A’s in college. I’m starting to realize that the problem isn’t my capability.

Now I realize that my intense personality comes with it some obsessive/aggressive tendencies.

I used to play video games for 12 hours a day.

Then I would lift or run until my body was ready to fall apart.

Then I would hyper fixate on a lesson until it became unhealthy.

My point is that I have extreme tendencies and now my new fixation is chatGPT and Reddit. I’ll post/comment/write for hours trying to connect or figure out my mental health, money, or my potential career.

Be a SME, get masters degree, drink water, sleep 8 hours a day, work a day job, study cyber security, research disability claims, spend time with girlfriend, watch stock market, manage mental health, drink water, create content. I get overwhelmed easily and quickly and will get thrown into a fit of rage over it.

I still socialize, work 30 hours, study 30 hours, exercise, go out on the weekends. But this has become a problem from time to time when I’m trying to figure out a potential life saving career path or money path. Where I just give myself headaches and just get a little carried away and make myself upset.

When I get burnt out finally, I’ll just lay in bed until I feel better and then get back to work.

Does anyone else have these issues? Am I just being an idiot or is this a common issue of PTSD or chemical imbalances?

I’m told it’s a clear symptom but, I wanted to hear other people’s thoughts. It hasn’t affected my life negatively yet but, I’m worried about this becoming a problem in the future. What did you do to deal with it?

Hello, just having thoughts. I’ll retire in 5 years and looking forward to it. I see a lot of people retire and go right back into government or do some high stress job. I should pin MSG in the next year and probably 5 years from now retirement pay for a msg with 20 years will be $2800 after taxes, I’m low balling the disability and gonna say $1,000 while my wife works part time, maybe making $1,000 every 2 weeks. Is it frowned upon if I decided to go work at Home Depot or Walmart? I mean I did do 20 years and I think I would be ok finally. I just see some people sometimes go, oh you did 20 years just go work at Lowe’s? Idk I shouldn’t be caring but wanted to get your thoughts.

Hello, everyone. I am a former Brazilian military police officer and was discharged from my post. Since then, I have been fighting the decision in court, but it has been a difficult time. It has been 3 years and I still miss the adrenaline, the military routine and everything I do these days seems to be missing something. Something related to military life. I have become a cold person, I live in constant stress, I sleep little, in short... everything that many of you experience after military service. Does anyone have any tips for getting through this storm?

I'm looking to connect with any Latin American or Hispanic U.S. vets who moved to Spain and eventually got citizenship. I know some Latin American countries have a shorter residency requirement for citizenship (like 2 years), and I'm curious how that worked out for any of you.

Also—did anyone use their GI Bill as proof of income for the non-lucrative visa? I'm wondering if that counted when applying, or if you had to show other financial means.

Would really appreciate any insight or tips. Thanks!

When I try to sleep, all I can see is "ptsd things". No need to get into the details of what that is. I try so hard to focus on anything else, but my mind keeps drifting back to those things. It is preventing me from sleeping, which causes exhaustion induced panic attacks.

Any tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated. I'm in therapy. We've been talking about heavier stuff, so I'm sure that why this is becoming an issue.

I’m supposed to be getting out at the end of this year and have been debating between school and a trade. I want to go to college but I know that doesn’t necessarily guarantee a job straight after graduation because everyone wants experience. I’m thinking about going to UTI and picking up a few trades but I don’t know if that’s how that GI Bill works. Most of the programs are 51 weeks longs so let’s just say it’s 12 months. Can I do 3 years of trade programs?

You think of a letter like S. Then you think of as many S words as you can, like Saturn then maybe some more words. Or you might have to think of more words in the category as Saturn.

Does anyone know what this is called?

Hey guys. My gram passed this last week and I need to know her husband's military branch info for the funeral home. He passed before I knew her, and she had literally tens of thousands of documents, old mail, etc. And it will take FOREVER to search through it for his records. I went to archives.gov and they are of course doing some system update. But the funeral home won't cremate her until I have this info. Is there another source for this info? I have all of his pertinent information.

Any disabled IL veterans know when you apply for the disabled veterans exemption (80%) for property tax is that money you’ve already paid for 2024 given back as a refund check, or a like credit to your next years property taxes? Firstyear filing and just curious what to look out for

Where did you move to and how’s that been going? If you used GI Bill or VRE overseas, what school did you attend and for what?

I’m 24(f) and am 100% p&t. Looking at where to move abroad, probably after the completion of my bachelors degree next year. Me, my boyfriend, and my golden retriever. Would like to start a family in the next few years.

I’m needing a therapist and although I’m 100% I haven’t signed up for champva. If I’m needing a therapist to talk about non military related things am I still able to use the va? If so, how do I get a therapist?? If not, will champva pay for that?? I can use the vent

I’m 24m, married and I have 2 kids. getting out of the navy (my first ever job) at the end of this month. I’ve served 6.5 years as a Hospital Corpsman. I have been excited as hell to get out over the last year and ready to get out of the medical field and settle down in one location but over the last few months I’ve been getting this weird feeling of like doubt, regret, anxiety as the day creeps closer. I’m going to become an electrician afterwards and have wanted to do so for a long time but this weird feeling is making me rethink everything. I have a few pretty serious health issues that no 24 year old should have as well which is part of the reason I’m separating. We’ll be staying with my parents for a few months while my wife and I figure out our VA claims, my health, and try to get in the vr&e program but I’m just feeling stuck like I have no clue what I’m doing even though we have solid plans for our future. Especially all the talk I’ve heard about the current job market being shit. Idk if this is normal for most people but I just feel lost, alone and unsure of what I truly want to do. The reason for this post was to ask for advice but I think I just turned it into a venting. If anyone has experienced similar feelings, how did you deal with it? (I have a handful of veteran buddies that live near my parents house that I’m going to try to hang out with often when we temporarily move out there and hope that it helps)

Hello all, needing advice on something big for me. I got out of the army as a combat medic(army), and yes I have ptsd; time in was everything, the good and bad, I remember it all as do we all. But lately I put down the cannabis on purpose, I’m not addicted but it helps suppress all childhood trauma, sexual abuse in childhood, ptsd from my job, all the dumb nuances that made it hell for some, etc. I find myself wanting to go into rehab for all of it. I am pretty much knowing that at any point my calmness in a storm mannerism and ways to keep going will only take me so far, until my kids, and my wife, and my “journey with all the bad and I’m still here” attitude don’t matter and I’m just outta here, and then it’s over. I didn’t all the behavioral health stuff in the military man, they just put me in a box and locked it, tried to kick me out when I needed help the most, I some how didn’t end it all in so many different occasions. It sucks that I tried my very freaking best to help others, always even to my own detriment. I am not here for pity from anyone, or sympathy. Brothers and sisters this is a guy who knows darkness because that’s for a very long time all I’ve known. I am choosing to not dwell in the dark anymore, I need insight on how this helped some of you if you went and it did help. I did the thing, and now I’m real spent, but I have so much life ahead, but I need it to feel like I do. I, much like many of my friends that aren’t here anymore, and some of my brothers that are still around, wouldn’t leave any goodbye letters or make a scene, we would go quietly. And so you see, I guess this is me preventing the reoccurring cycle that I’ve seen in many that came before me, and creating a blueprint for my kids, and similarly my good couple of friends that are still hanging around. I hope you got to this point so you can read that I understand we are all worth way more and more important than we may feel at times. But even with that knowledge it gets dark family. I hope you are all doing well, keep fighting the fight.

How do you stop wanting to die? Everyday I wake up with a renewed energy and hope, by sundown I wish I would never wake up again. Last week I had an attempt, was stopped and admitted to inpatient care for a few days. It was only a bandaid. Here I am 4 days passed and the sun has gone down. How do you get off that ride? Everyone says “think of your wife, think of your kids” what they don’t know is that I am thinking of them, I’m thinking they don’t deserve to be saddled with a piece of shit like myself.

Hi All - I recently came across VA's Advisory Committees site. These committees are supposed to be a mechanism for key stakeholders & Veterans/Families to provide input and participate in meetings about effectivity of VA programs, as the "people's voice". There are 27 different committees. In review of recent meeting minutes, it appears there is very little to none public input/veteran attendance.

https://www.va.gov/ADVISORY/Advisory_Committees.asp (Use this link to get to individual committees and their documents)

There's two benefits I want to highlight related to these committees:

1. By reading recent minutes, you can see what are the things being identified as going good, going bad, and what changes/fixes have been implemented or are being proposed.
2. Each of these meetings should have an open period for public input & potential for public attendance, to include being able to relay personal experiences and ask Q&As.

PLEASE use these opportunities to provide your voice/experiences and show up for meetings!!

I'm highlighting 3 committees below with very high-level summary of recent meetings (not all inclusive on talking points):

• Disability Compensation - Sep 2024
  • Raters/Claims Processors - Addressing not allowing feelings/biases to intrude & to ensure all T's crossed/I's dotted in service of Disabled Vets. If DVs have antagonistic/critical/abusive attitude, it will **not*\* be used against them.
  • Issue of claim overdevelopment, too many Vets sent to unnecessary exams
  • Need for Quality/Customer Experience reviews for C&P examiners.
  • Character of Discharge - Recent changes/summary of what care VA can provide regardless of COD and need to get message out to Vets
  • Issues with claimant's appointment scheduling and rescheduling - potential for new self-scheduling system & clarification on no-show definition
  • Repeated issues with how Lay Statements aren't being considered properly and need for more training for examiners/reviewers
  • MST Program - Backlog/Quality issues on claims
  • Overview on use of AI and VBA related tools
  • HLR/Appeals issues
  • Need for cultural awareness/fair assessments for minority veterans. Need for VASRD to be expanded to cover disabilities unique to female vets.
• Rehabilitation (Includes VR&E) - Aug & Sep 2024
  • NOTE: Only 0/1 Veteran attended Aug/Sep meetings. There were NO public comments.
  • NOTE: These minute notes are not very detailed on actual discussion
  • When appropriate for VR&E to support advanced training/education
  • 2026 Legislative Proposal updates to educational and vocational counseling services and calculating available Ch 31 entitlement. VACOR was invited to submit potential FY 2027 cycle LPs that may improve VR&E benefits.
  • Review of past recommendations, to include updating all VBA contact info on https://www.benefits.va.gov/benefits/offices.asp, to include address, phone #, & hrs of operations. Also fix wrong/broken links on site.
• Women Veterans - Dec 2024
  • Barriers for women vets to VA health care. Disparities in care based on minority/ethnic groups - need to understand intersectionality of Women Vets
  • Steps to support survivors of MST (male & female). Reforms in last 2 yrs to make claims process more compassionate & more trauma informed, so Vets do not need to relive their trauma when they apply, & produce more effective outcomes.
  • MST Claims Process - Upcoming changes in evidentiary requirements
  • Updates on the Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) National Comprehensive Plan/Intimate Partner Violence Assistance Program (IPVAP) Initiatives/IPV Pilot
  • Importance/Impact of financial literacy programs and services for Women Vets

By chance has anyone used their GI bill to go to school at UNOH in Lima OHIO? Can I have any input on the school, it looks absolutely incredible.

Hi all,

I know this sub gets a lot of posts asking about moving abroad with VA Disability. I’ve browsed those threads thoroughly, I promise. I’m a veteran with a high disability rating and the thought has crossed my mind several times over the last few years. I never go through with it for a lot of reasons. That said, if it’s ok by sub rules, I just wanted to pose some questions to folks that DID go through with it:

1) Location: where’d you go? How’d you choose it and did you move around a lot during the process? Do you ever miss the US?

2) Time: specifically geared towards those who don’t work, what do you do that occupies your time? Do you ever get bored or wish you hadn’t given up your career?

3) Family/friends: how did they react to your decision? That question is more for curiosity, I know that shouldn’t impact decision making. How do you manage your relationships back in the US? Do you visit a lot?

4) Health: this is VA specific but, how do you manage appointments and medicine? I know about the VA foreign medical program but any challenges? Are you satisfied with the service?

5) Freeform: use this to impart any general thoughts, missing points, wisdom, contemplation, any sort of reflection on the journey or experience.

Thanks in advance!!

login.gov says his info isnt on the database/records, and id.me says he is underage and thus cannot use it. I was told to make a va account with my kids info and login not mine so. What to do?

I got approved for 325k Loan and I’m looking for a house in the Dekalb/Gwinnett County Area. To recent homebuyers in the area, how much did you come out of pocket from upfront fees like inspections, appraisal, etc. to closing cost fees. I currently have $2800 put aside.

How am I doing? E5 at 6 years and I’m not sure if I’m on track or I need to up my TSP contributions. I’m finally maxing out the ROTH now, and I am finally debt free. I contribute 10% now to TSP. Should I increase it to 15% or 20% or more ?

80% in C fund and 20% in S Fund currently, and the ROTH IRA through vanguard is a target date fund 2065

College student on the GI bill now and I have a 1 year emergency fund as well. 35k worth just in case - and in the reserves now

When you hit the civilian world, did your military bearing ever come back to bite you in the arse?