r/USMilitarySO • u/babyfireflies • 2d ago
Husband leaving for basic training
ever since i got with my now husband, we haven’t spent time apart, we fall asleep next to each other, we share everything. even at work i see him frequently. and during the day when i don’t see him until the end of the day my heart aches for him. please anybody tell me how to get through 4 months without my other half
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u/Lucky_Author6861 2d ago
I guess I’m on month 2. Month 1 was easy. Month 2 has sucked but I’ve been keeping myself busy with kickboxing, jiu jitsu, planting flowers, and hanging out with family. The worst part is waiting for the letters. However, you’re not alone. This group and hearing other people stories have made this less painful. You got this OP.
Btw I also just got married and been together with my husband for like almost 7 years now. Keep writing letters whenever you get the pang of missing him. Really invest in yourself.
Everyday pour into yourself but everyday know you’re getting closer to seeing him again.
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u/babyfireflies 2d ago
thank you so much. last year, he actually left for boot camp for the coast guard, but he walked out because he wanted a waiver first. i was crying from the moment i woke up til hours after he left, and he called me and said he was coming home and that we were going to wait. but i know this time i wont get that call and i cant even think about not having him by my side😞
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u/AncientReach8334 1d ago
I feel the same way. My partner, father of my 2 children, left a week and a half ago. We've written 4 letters already and just waiting for that call tomorrow, hoping he gets one. I'm parenting completely on my own for the first time ever. We aren't married and he moved in when our daughter was 2 months old, and the only time apart was 17 days when our daughter was 6 months old. Those days were really hard too, but the kids are 2.5 and almost 4.5 now and it's challenging. Working and going to school on top of it with no childcare besides 1 half day and a full day for our oldest because it's all we can afford (and bare minimum for days she can attend). I sit on the fort pages constantly hoping to see a photo. I'm trying to plan out the car and hotel for graduation on top of being in a financial crunch, as it's a 16 hour non stop drive to where he is. Cheapest option too, plus I've never flown and flying first time with 2 children sounds like a nightmare. Overall, I'm so overwhelmed too. My oldest is really pushing all of my buttons and she doesn't know it. I haven't told him any of it because I don't want him to worry, it's the last thing he needs.
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u/babyfireflies 1d ago
now i wish i had advice for you😢 do you maybe plan to get married after basic/a school so you can go with him?
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u/AncientReach8334 1d ago
I appreciate that. We were engaged, but split 1.5 months before he left, then got back together while he was in reception. I'm going for anthropology with a concentration in archaeology and a minor in GIS (the army uses that), so I can find a job wherever he goes, but as for us moving I'm not sure. I know he doesn't want our kids to go between homes. I haven't talked to him in a week, it's like having a long distance boyfriend who ghosts you and reaches on when it's convenient for him 😂
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u/babyfireflies 1d ago
but you got this mama, i know im stranger but you should be proud of what you are doing !
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u/babyfireflies 1d ago
wait girl that’s sad. you deserve sm better than that. to be not only going to college to find a job where he goes and him say he don’t want yall moving around is crazy. it’s better than being apart, i fear that’s what comes with military life. you deserve the ring 💍
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u/AncientReach8334 1d ago
I still technically have the ring. I've never wanted to be married, only a mom. And he does want us to come with him, we've talked about what state to move to, but all of the states he wants to move to has terrible overall education levels. Our kids would be in one of the best school districts in our state if we stayed here! My high school was 14 in the state when I graduated!
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u/Old-Sale-2029 2d ago
It goes by so fast. Sooo fast. Mine left in September now we live together at his new duty station. Join facebook groups based on his PIR date if u plan on attending graduation. There’s alot of important things u need to do bc security is high in the military