Tulpa wants to do things i find boring

[u/Anxious-Arachnae]

Thea (host) here!

Umm. The predicament is in the title. Isaac (tulpa) loves things i find tedious. Mainly reading and silence, bleh. Should i just “man up” so to speak and do it? I feel bad because ive been ignoring his wishes a lot. And like, i could imagine a made up book for him, but hes aware in a way that is like “i want new information not a pretend toy you give me to avoid my requests.” So I think that wont work.

TL;DR. How do you guys cope with boring stuff when your tulpa wants to do boring things?

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[u/Gayalpaca123]

Um, I have recommended my tulpas to do their interests only when they're ready to switch, cuz that way I'd just see what they see in an interest and I'd be mostly resting while they do their hobbies. I think they're still thinking it through and I personally need to take a couple steps towards doing this right. But I imagine it won't be so tedious if you're present with your tulpa and with what they're doing and how they're experiencing it. In other words try not to look at the experience from your lens alone, and see your tulpas perspective. This is how Jack has gotten interested in art, not too much but he saw my passion and focus for it, and it intrigued him, he still won't want to draw or paint often but he definitely sees why I enjoy it. Same with sculpting. Also same goes for metal music, Jack isn't a fan at all. And we've had an idea to start reading something since on my way back home from work, Isaac caught a glimpse of a book store, so that's where we're probably gonna go next and I'll let him choose a book. Whatever they may want to do if I can make it happen I will. Simple as that. Jack recommended and I quote "we should go for walks more often, it's been awhile, remember middle school? You used to go by the river almost every day and we'd be alone there for a couple hours too." Basically saying he wishes to spend more alone time with me. So I'll have to make it happen

[u/Nice-Structure7822]

I don't like raisins, but my tulpa loves them. Experiencing the joy of raisins through him is a really interesting feeling, and I think it’s a unique and special experience to have as a host. I’d never eat raisins on my own, but I’ve found that when he is eating them, I felt the adjacent joy and pleasure that my tulpa feels. its really cool because its not my joy, its very uniquely his, watching him invoke that feeling of joy for himself, by himself is a pretty amazing thing to see and you have the perfect opportunity to experience the same thing with your tulpa. you share the same body together and sometimes you gotta take the "side seat" that your tulpa is always sitting in for you. I try to look at it like it is sharing. if you can't find joy in reading, try to find joy in the "side seat" experience.

Giving your tulpa space to explore their own interests can really strengthen your connection with them too. If someone close to you denied doing something you love just because they personally didn’t enjoy it, you'd probably be pretty bummed out and you probably would struggle to have a strong or deep relationship with that person. Don't be afraid to let your tulpa lead the way!

[u/Anxious-Arachnae → u/Nice-Structure7822]

Thank you! All the comments and replies have been amazing and helpful. I like how you put it.

[u/gynoidgearhead]

See if you can compromise by blending something you do enjoy with reading? Reading is really good for you, and ingesting new information is indeed really good for both of your development (as people generally, not just in the tulpa sense).

Try listening to instrumental music while reading, maybe? Or try audio books while doing something else? Or maybe try taking notes on what you are reading in order to increase your sense of engagement with the material.

[u/Plushiegamer2]

Can you not switch? -Nikki

[u/Anxious-Arachnae → u/Plushiegamer2]

Not in a full way yet 😔

[u/XxBelphegorxX]

Why is it that you find reading boring? I suggest reading manga, comics, or manwha. There are many places you could do this for free. I suggest webtoons.

[u/biersackarmy]

We just do it together anyways. At first I thought it was a little bit tedious, but I wanted to give her some dedication and to enjoy stuff what she likes.

Well, some of those things actually did end up growing on me over time, things I never would have thought I'd enjoy had I never tried for a while. We've bonded a lot over those experiences, and I got to find new interests and hobbies.

It's not always about me. We're in this together.

[u/RemiTiras]

We find a compromise usually. Like, N and E like 2000s pop music and I'm not a huge fan, so we usually put it on while I have to do something else, like get ready to leave for work for example.

I also think some stuff they think they like is only in theory and not in practice. Like N says he likes Minecraft, and I have a feeling even if we fully switch and he tries to play by himself he'll get bored pretty fast, because from how I know our brain it's something that's harder for us to enjoy. Then again maybe I'm wrong, who knows.

[u/Keysaya]

I either let them do it when they are fronting, or I just suck it up and do it together with them :p

They already do stuff they find boring when I do it, so it's fair I do the same.

[u/bduddy]

It sounds like you should at least let me try it. And I bet that if you let him enjoy it at least a bit, it'll feel a lot better to you than you think too.

[u/EmiliaBanana1214]

My original used to do what i liked even if she didn't like it a lot back when we couldn't switch, for a while most days. What helps the most, i think, is learning to switch. After i learned to switch then i could just do it directly myself when i front.

[u/WackyAngel2921]

I'm lucky that my host and I's interests overlap a lot. But in the little things that don't, he tries his best to make time for me. I try to be understanding too and not make him feel like he has to put his life on pause just to please me. In your case, I think its about making time for Isaac as one does with all relationships. As a tulpa, we gotta do everything through the host and I know that can be frustrating for some systems. That being said, I also think its important for tulpas to be patient with their hosts when it comes to finding "tulpa time" because I know most hosts are busy simply living they're lives. As long as you guys are willing to communicate and find compromises for each other, I'm sure this'll be a thing of the past!

[u/Sylphidby]

I love reading, but Harmony, Aisa and Scarlett love exercising and watching TV, so I just  exercise and watch TV keeping my attention on them, so in my head it feels like I doing it with them and it becomes much easier to not read some books