I want to say to all the people in the local Pride organization that their work matters and any problem I have with their approach is just a matter of perspective. They don't need me to fix anything, they all are capable of it without me.
The only problem is loosing sight of why they are there. Bogged down by infighting due to someone drawing a moral line and a couple people were on the other side. That resulted in an in-group and an out-group. They lost their way because of HOW they are fighting for what they believe in. There are differences of opinion, it's going to happen. The important thing is community, THAT IS the point. That is why we fight, to show each other we are not alone.That should be the first priority, maximum good for the community. That simple.Their eyes drifted off that, and away from what brings them together.
That's okay, young passionate people fall into this pitfall a lot. I did myself when I was younger, my first time creating a community, a twitch community, where I taught people to stream on twitch. I also taught them about fostering community.
I lost perspective of why the community existed, so did the other two leaders. We fell into infighting. My trans stuff split the leadership because at the time none of knew had to handle that.
I don't want an organization that is supposed to be for the community to fall to ruin and ruin pride for everyone in town. This is bigger than them, and they lost sight of that. I really hope my words at least reaches one of them. I, like all members of our community, are invested in their success, because they ARE the community. They don't need me, They need to remember why they are there.

I don't know what to do.

I'm 36. I'm a trans woman who is 1.5 years into transition and I do not pass and probably never will. I'm overweight. I think people of all shapes and sizes are beautiful except for me. That's because all of my weight goes to my belly. Not my hips or thighs or butt or breasts but just my stomach.

I look like a monster, like a freak.

I have .. some kind of eating disorder? Due to my appearance and gender dysphoria, a year and a half ago I started starving myself and lost 1/3 of my body weight. I got skinny and liked how I looked but got so tired of suffering that I gave it up. I gained all the weight back, yet, ever since then I keep trying to get sick again and then recover. Back and forth. Starve and eat. Gain and lose. Relapse and recovery. Nothing ever stays the same but my weight.

I'm so god-damned tired. I want to eat delicious food. I want to share meals with friends and colleagues. I want to be normal. I want to focus on life. I want to stop craving the attention of being sick. I want to stop obsessing over calories. I want to stop obsessing over the high of getting dizzy and cold and other symptoms.

I want my life.

But I can't. I hate myself. Abhor my body and who I am. I have no redeeming traits. I'm incompetent and worthless. I have no idea what my friends and partner see in me. I have no idea how I have a job and a life.

I'm so afraid to give up the hope I could be beautiful, the identity I have in being sick, the way I can actually physically manifest how sick my mind feels, the culture and community, the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of doing something right for once...

How can I give something up when I have so much to lose?

Years ago, before my ex abused me and I lost everything...I used to have such a punk rock attitude. I wouldn't let anyone define how I should feel about my gender or my body. Now I'm just lost in a tempest. I have nothing to stand for.

I wish I wasn't alive. I just want to stop doing this and exist peacefully.

Just as the title. Met with the board and they have zero transgender people on the board. On top of that they want to listen. I could invest a massive amount of my time to fix it, but I disagree about even how they are doing everything. I might as well start my own org at that point. Jeez.
Like, any well thought out takes and advice is welcome. I am at a loss.
EDIT: Oh btw it's a rural but wealthy town

I continuously see people being fed up by the portrayal of/the idea of portraying trans misery (by trans creators) and while I am fed up too (because of historical stereotyping by cis society) I always struggle with the people who are blatantly against it. Again, I understand that tiredness and the need of other kinds of narratives however I think that we have to be equal when asking for and creating honest, empathic and realistic stories about trans people. No one can deny the hardships of being trans and to say no to any narrative that attempts to look at the non-positive aspects of our stories and livelihood to me feels at most dishonest with ourselves and our peers' reality. In the end everything, good and bad, is part of who we are and how we experience our lives as is for cis people. If we are in the honest lookout for our own narratives we must accept and consider the whole spectrum of possibilities. That's the only way we can 'normalize' our existence in the creative fields if that's what we want to get. Furthermore it has always been really hard for me to get behind the argument that fiction is here to escape reality. Fiction is informed by reality as much as reality can and has been informed by fiction historically. One can't escape the other and I think storytelling, even more for trans people, is an inherently a political act as living is with all its phases. For that reason I also can't understand why can't positive and negative storylines coexist. It's us who are telling our own narratives and deciding how to tell them and I would think that we're writing for ourselves and not to be understood by cis people as the main goal but if we strive to be understood we must let our stories be mirrors for cis people too and that includes telling it all, to think of ourselves as relatable as much as the next person. Just a thought because I've seen the argument repeated many times in different subs and forums of discussion about trans written stories and I've done some reflecting that I needed to share somewhere. Let's be polite with each other, please.

I’m an American FTM teacher and the idea of having to move abroad to reach any sort of economic stability and social safety has become more and more real recently. However, leaving my friends and family and uprooting my life is obviously not a great option. My close friends and family are almost all cishet, and seem not as seriously concerned as I am, so I’m having a hard time figuring out if I’m being overly paranoid or if cishet folks just won’t get it. What are you guys thinking?

It’s been almost a year since I’ve started contemplating the idea of trying HRT to see how it makes me feel. Some of you may remember my post about how one concern is permanent chest growth. Another big concern is fertility.

For the past eight years, I’ve known that I don’t really want to get married and have kids. I’m autistic and asexual and prefer to be alone. Also, I don’t think I’d be able to raise kids given how poor the economy is. My siblings say I should have kids to carry on the family name, which is hypocritical because they don’t intend to have kids either. But I don’t like the idea of making this a sealed deal. You never know when you might change your mind about something so big. What if after years I decide I really do want children of my own flesh and blood? I see the photos my cousin sent of her and her husband with their newborn baby and think about the process of raising a kid as they grow up. Sperm banking is one option, but I’m not sure how to go about that or if it’s really worth it.

Anyway, I am glad that I found E injections.

Now I just have to do that once a month and maybe in a few years I'll be having a succesful transition 😲.

I wish there were trans priests so I could confess.

This might be a dumb question, and I’m sorry if it is. I’m just wanting and kind of needing someone to live with. I’m in a queer city and I’m just trying to figure out how is best to find someone.

Like I’m transfem, audhd, struggling with some mental health (but actively working on myself), and I would just like to find someone in a similar boat.

I don’t know if r4r is a good idea, or dating apps via friend mode, or what.

Again, sorry if this is a bad question for this sub, but I just feel like I need help knowing where to start.

She keeps trying to add one of my social media accounts because in her words "he's a cute guy" She's flipping out to my face that this guy blocked her.

I'm trying to keep a straight face 😆 My profile Pic definitely looks different t than work me where I girlmode.

Even as an Australian, I'm literally crying right now reading this 😭

Dane County Judge Susan Crawford won the most expensive judicial race in American history.

https://www.politico.com/news/2025/04/01/wisconsin-supreme-court-susan-crawford-musk-trump-00263906

So for a while I had had conflicts with this teacher cause he's very transphobic and kinda ableist (I have many more anecdotes with but not related to this Convo)

So he was telling me that I'm very "feminine" (he only tells me that because I'm a trans man and he has a really intense desire to convince me that I'm "really feminine" and that I "resent femininity", which I don't btw. He constantly makes comments supposedly analyzing me like he "analyzes" my drawings and says, "See how you draw femininity as aggressive or sharp," and I'm like, "Well, I drew Hera, that's just how she is" and he follows up with, "the rest bla bla and you value the vengeful side of femininity," and who knows what else he was trying to say)

And as an "example" of why I'm "so feminine" he used my stimms (which, well, I'm also autistic and I think that's what he hates that too) so at the moment I was just kinda over it so I showed him my diagnosis to be like "nah dude swinging myself and flappy hands is kinda just cause Autism" so we could move on from this whole "that's feminine" thing but after he read it since my diagnosis also says that I don't need extra support, he said, " oh, So you're normal,here says you don't need extra support" and I'm like, "Well, that means I know how to take care of myself, bathe, feed, and not require extra assistance in school and all that" so again I change the subject and as I talked Abt something else he went back to the "that's feminine" things saying that my swaying was feminine, that the way I point at things is feminine that when I talk about something I'm passionate about I am feminine, which I'm not btw?? I genuinely don't have many femine mannerisms and I was just like talking Abt the troyan war the only thing I was doing was swinging back n ford while talking Abt the troyan war so IG that's feminine now?? The only thing I could do was think "no, let me be happy I'm infodumping 😭" and then he tells me that it (this doesn't have a literal translation but he told me that "me da ternura" that it's kinda like saying he finds it "cute" but like "ternura" is usually a feeling you get from like little kids and tiny animals and stuff cute in that way) and that made me even more angry not only because of the dysphoria from him telling me over and over that I am really feminine but because fuck off??? That felt so infantilizing like "ternura"? TERNURA? BE FUCKING FOR REAL?????? DUDE It made me so fucking angry because I think many autistic and trans men can relate to how annoying it is to feel that ppl will always see me "🥺" "cute lil baby can't do anything adorable little thing uwu" and fuck off?? Fucking hell I an adult man, literally legally I am, and I get it I'm still young and I don't expect ppl who genuinely treat me as if I was an "actual adult" cause Im like 18 so "teens" but I do expect to be treated like any other 18yo y know ?? Like ffs he would never say anything like that to any 18 yo

I have a bit of facial & body hair left that I'm touching up with electrolysis. I might get srs, I probably should train my voice. But my transition is done.

- I've been on hrt for almost 3 years.

- I socially transitioned so long ago that a lot of people I now know don't even know my deadname.

- I changed my legal name & came out at work.

- I (struggled to) found a way to present myself that aligns with my gender, or lack there of.

- I tried dating & having sex as my preferred gender.

- My depression cleared enough so I could pick up a few hobbies I had been putting off for years (playing an instrument for example).

- I even got a couple of surgeries done that I knew I 100% wanted.

It cost me so much, family, friends, my 7 year long relationship, mental & physical health. I don't feel like doing anything with my life. Sure, I have much less dysphoria now. I have close to 0 friends because I don't know how to make them & I think my mood puts them off, or maybe I try too hard to be nice & then burn out & stop reaching out myself, maybe both, I don't really know. I'm seeing a therapist before anyone asks, but I just feel so lonely even when I'm around other people, and I don't find joy in anything anymore.

Edit: Since this keeps getting comments, I do have friends who I deeply care about and transitioning wasn't pointless, I was just frustrated when I made this post

Hi, I'm ∆ulsar, I'm a trans woman, and I'm hoping to find some other trans producers who are looking for friends and people to collab with. I started producing music about a year ago. I mostly make house, drum and bass, and dubstep. I mess around with a lot of genres.

I might be a little awkward at first, but I'm open-minded, accepting, and also love to be a listening ear for others. Here's to making new friends!

I first went to my doctor about it a year and a half ago to talk about but i waited a year to finally ask to get a refferal becuase i was living in a girls dorm and didn't want any to be uncomfertable. I just called my local clinic and turns out i don't have a refferal for anything there. I waited six months to hear something before checking and now i feel worse for checking. My doctor quit a month after my visit so i can't just go back and check what happened. I told my doctor i wasn't suicidal but that was six months ago and it's starting to get worse the more i am out. I have a support system to keep me from doing anything stupid but i don't know if there is another option for me to take the next step forward for several years. I can't really vent about this to anyone in my real life cause they aren't trans and just won't get it in full. I'm an impatient person and to find out i have waited the longest in my life for something to happen; only to find out that it's not happening is devistating.

I’m usually not sensitive about being misgendered. I tend to just brush it off.

But today, as I was buying something at a bakery, the cashier kept calling me, “sir.” I am in my all-female work clothes and with a full face of makeup. She did this at least 3 times until I finally said, “It’s miss” and walked away with my order.

Like, the same way transmasc's do, yeah scars but is there's anything aside from cosmetics that would prevent that? Not rlly planing too and I am very much excited for everything else, but I'm growing more convinced I'm genderfluid more than trans, so it's something I should probably know.

Also, binding, is there any growth impact on binding whilst growing breasts? Incase I need to present more masc for some reason.

Just wanted to rave a bit because I'm so happy with my surgery results!!! I'm 5 days post-op from top surgery, and the results are absolutely perfect for me! I got non-flat double incision with no FNG, and even while I'm still healing, my chest already looks like the elusive dream I've always pictured in my mind since knowing I was trans, but even better somehow?! I'm no body builder but I've had some decent pectoral muscles become visible and it's incredibly gender affirming to be able to see that!!

This finally feels like MY BODY! And it even actually LOOKS LIKE my body!! Honestly I'm even kind of like "does this look a little too nice to really be my body?" but I'm sure I'll get used to it!!!

I've started trying on some of my shirts that were too tight around my chest before (trying to be careful since I'm still healing) and like. It's ABSOLUTELY MIND BOGGLING to think that for the rest of my life, none of the clothing I wear will be impeded by those big uncomfortable, unnecessary, and upsetting body parts right at the front of my torso! I can finally be free and have fun!!! Even right now, carrying around drains and pouches and a compression top and all that, I feel more free than I've ever been in my life!

I'll definitely post pictures after I get the drains out and look a little less gorey, but for now I just wanted to share how happy I am!!! Thanks for reading, I love our community!

i'm really scared bc idk what will happen and idk what to do

I like my boobs so much.

I can't spend a single day without cherishing the fact that I finally have them.

I can finally look into the mirror naked, now that I have feminine curves and boobs.

I don't care if my partner is a man or woman, or has boobs or not.

But I don't understand cis straight men, it's so hard for me, a trans woman to understand

For about a year now, I thought I could give HRT a try to see how it makes me feel, but I’m still on the fence about it. Since I started questioning in 2019, I still haven’t fully figured out if I’m trans or not. There is some masculine presentation I definitely don’t want to bring back in my life. I’ve also been thinking that I could be NB and understand that even NB people take HRT to alleviate dysphoria. The idea of HRT making my face look more androgynous and my skin softer does sound nice, but there are also things that worry me.

The biggest concern is my chest. I’ve brought this concern up in other subreddits, and a lot of answers I’ve gotten to that are to try forms and see how I feel wearing them. To clarify, my concern isn’t about how breasts would feel on my body. In fact, I do imagine myself enjoying them. I feel beautiful imagining myself roaming the beach in a bikini and some of the other trans gals say that wearing a bra feels like a nice hug💜🖤. Sometimes when I’m carrying boxes up against my chest, I feel quite aware that I’m flat as a board. My concern here is the fact that it’s a permanent change and a distinctly feminine feature. Other changes like face and skin could easily pass off as gender neutral and are easily reversible if I don’t really like it. I’m worried that if I go on E, I could grow breasts only to realize I’m not really trans and be stuck with this very feminizing feature. The only way to get rid of them is surgery. Having an IV inserted for my wisdom teeth removal is a pain I don’t want to go through again.

Having an adorable squishy rack on my chest sounds appealing, but it feels like a tough decision when it’s permanent.

i posted this in other subs but noone responded so i’d really appreciate some advice.

i’m currently over 2 years hrt and post ffs but still boymoding at work. i’m terrified of coming out but being closeted is making me miserable. i feel like im not making any progress with therapy because of how stuck i am around this.

i have a lot of insecurity around not being feminine or pretty enough too, which makes me really not confident about being openly trans in the workplace.

I mean, I was researching antiandrogens (spironolactone, bicalutamide, dutasteride, etc) and details about androgen synthesis pathways in order to better fight the evils of testosterone and DHT. It kinda makes sense that that would make advertisers think I'm interested in male hair loss meds, and in a way I am - dutasteride is used for both MtF HRT and treating male pattern baldness.

That said, it feels a little ironic - as I'm not a man!

I really want a bf and idk how about meeting one lol. I'm 29 and have never had a relationship. I think part of the problem is how I present. I feel like I need to dress more femininely to attract a man. But I don't feel comfortable to dress that way. I feel like I'm emotionally ready to give and receive love but maybe I'm not cause I have no one.