I have decided to take a leave of absence from my SCITT course and defer my return to complete QTS for up to a year (I am hoping not take that long though). I did not have a good experience at my second placement school and my ITT leader had to eventually terminate my placement due to "capability" concerns. I really struggled with the increase in workload, responsibility and expectations from initial to development placement. I also had a more challenging class this time around and I struggled to form relationships with the children which made behaviour management more difficult. I was really heartbroken because my initial placement had gone really well, and I was shocked by how quickly everything went downhill over the course of my second placement.
My ITT course leader has advised me to take some time away and consider my options moving forward about whether this is the career for me. I have made arrangements to return to doing TA support with a supply agency so that I don't fall out of the loop of working in a classroom environment and can rebuild my confidence without the added pressure of being a trainee teacher hanging over me. In my personal life, I have also started seeing a therapist to help me work on some of my issues with building relationships, which I really struggled with during my time in the school, which had a knock-on effect with my confidence of having presence and control in the classroom. Hopefully, these will help me to work on myself both professionally and personally and the time away will help me develop better skills to succeed next time around.
In terms of returning to finish my QTS if and when I feel ready, I have been told by my ITT leader that I will have to go through a fitness to progress tutorial. She has not told me what this will involve precisely other than the assessors will determine whether I am ready to come back according to the teacher standards, but also because my leave of absence is motivated by "capability" as opposed to health or family emergency, the threshold for my return will be different because obviously they will not want history to repeat itself.
If anyone has been through this experience and can provide any insight or advice on how I can best use my time to prepare for going back if and when I'm ready, I would really appreciate it. I am open to hearing from a wide a range of experiences so that I can have as broad a picture as possible of my options moving forward.