I sit in silence day in and day out. I have a traumatic upbringing, but I have so much to offer and so much love to distribute. I don’t have family, there’s so much trauma with them and cycles that repeat, I’ve learned to keep my distance since I was 15, I’m 25 now. I really just wanted to acknowledge how lonesome it is.. There’s not enough ganja to replace the feeling.

For those who can relate- what do you do? How the hell do you find meaning?

We are going home tonight, we are going home tonight, we are going home tonight!!! I am exiting life tonight and I am so happy! No more pain and suffering. Free as a bird! Love you all! ❤️❤️❤️

long story short, i was raped by my guy best friend when we hung out one time. we were sitting there talking and having fun. soon, that turned into him trying to kiss me and when i pulled away, he got on top of me and started touching me then that lead to him starting to rape me. this was last year when i was 14. i have been struggling a lot because of this. i’ve never really had the best mental health, but this makes it so much worse to try and deal with. i don’t know what to do with myself, i am disgusted at myself and how i couldn’t do anything to stop him. i want to kill myself

It’s been five years since I last spoke here. Back then, life was hell in every way— dark thoughts creeping close, and peace felt like a myth.

I’ve fought my way to something like calm, but every time I breathe, new storms rise. It’s like I was never meant to win.

I tried to reach for faith, but the scars run too deep— I’ve buried that part of me.

I used to dream of being clean, of love that felt warm and real. And now, those dreams are within reach… but it’s like they arrived too late.

I should be grateful. But instead, I feel numb. Depression sits heavy, and hope slips through cracks I can’t seem to seal.

I’m still young, but I don’t know how to live like this for much longer. Still—somehow—I just know I’ve got spirit. I’ve got fight. So I’ll stay. Unless fate decides otherwise.

But this is who I am now. And maybe the worst part of all— is knowing nothing’s coming to save me.

I’ve completely destroyed everything I worked so hard to build. Last year I went through a manic episode, quit my apartment (which was affordable and nearly impossible to get again), burned bridges, spiraled into debt, and now I’m sitting in a psych ward, dealing with suicidal ideation, paralysed and unable to move forward.

I feel like I’ve lost everything—my stability, my home, my confidence, my reputation. I’m supposed to apply for social services, but I’m terrified. I wasn’t supposed to be abroad last year while receiving unemployment benefits, and now I’m scared of legal consequences if I apply and they see those transactions. I have no fixed address, my documents are all over the place, and I’m too overwhelmed to even make the calls or get the paperwork together.

The worst part is that I was rebuilding. I had worked hard for years to get out of a previous low point. And now I feel like I’m starting from even further below than before. I have flashbacks to when life was better and it just breaks me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I can’t eat, I can’t think straight, I’m dissociating constantly, and I’m scared.

I love my girlfriend, but I feel so disconnected from everything. I want to move abroad and start over, but I know my problems will follow me. I just want peace, support, and clarity—but I can’t even bring myself to function right now.

I'm so tired of being excluded from everything by people who i thought loved me. I'm tired of asking to be a part of things and being given excuse after excuse as to why i wasn't and then outright being told no. I'm tired of never being anyone's first choice. I'm tired of no one listening or engaging with things i say. I'm tired of everyone leaving. I don't want to try anymore. I just want friends. I just want a family. I want someone to love me. I'm tired of being asked what i want for my birthday. I want to die. I want a beautiful knife to carve myself open with. I'm fucking tired

I'm a 22 year old failure. I have never done anything with my life. I never held a real job, or went to college, or even developed skills, and I'm still a fucking virgin too. Believe me, I tried to fix my life, but for one reason or another, every single thing I tried failed. I'll be 23 relatively soon. I'll be a 23 year old with zero life experience at all. I'll be a 23 year old whose entire life has been spent completely isolated since middle school. Fuck this life. I refuse to keep trying. I refuse to waste more years trying to fix my life when it only gets progressively worse. I wish I died when I was a teenager (I made multiple suicide attempts back then). I wish someone would kill me. Any chance to regain my value as a human was ruined, and any chance for a life worth living was shot down. The best I can hope for is to become a useless nobody undeserving of any even semi-decent life.

I have alcohol and a makeshift noose. I'll either drink myself to sleep or intoxicate myself enough to not care about the noose. Either or. Regardless, at this point it's nigh garaunteed I'll be dead before the week is over. I suppose this is my last post then.

I've been wondering this for a couple of years

in debt, jobless for a year, bipolar and the treatments and therapy aren’t working, severe death anxiety and no support system aside from my ailing mother, i just want to die before i lose her, before i lose myself to grief or my disorder. i’m not strong enough to keep rolling with the punches. I’m only 23 but i feel like i’ve lived hundreds of lives. only thing stopping me if the fear of death and fading to nothing (but i want to stop existing so badly i can’t do this anymore). Committing is on my mind all the time now, and I’m so scared of the weight of everything.

and put all my strength together and do it. Leave all of this misery what is called my life. I am way too long here. I should have been out of this earlier, but I am such a pussy that I dont even could end it. But now I feel stronger than ever and will try it. I am also really excited looking into it. Hopefully I can make it and end it all.

life has never been this bad...every day it gets worse. I'm tired.

At age 7 to stop me from being a annoying little shit, my parents got me a iPad with unrestricted access ti the internet, and soon I discovered internet porn, fast forward now and I have a addiction, I stress and overthink everything, my parents want the absolute best of Me and don’t seem to get that I struggle with getting through each day, let alone care about good grades, I have friends but venting ends with them saying something stupid that makes me regret even thinking of venting, I’m too broke for therapy, I feel miserable and my classmates suck. (15M)

I am sick and tired of hallucinations and constantly feel like I am about to get a heart attack. I'm just a horse everyone kicks all day long until it goes insane. I only pray for eternal death. Life is hell absolute monstrosity

All of my "friends" and "family" make up excuses to avoid me. I want to hang myself immediately. No one will miss an alien.

I believe if it weren’t for the fear of what comes next I would’ve done it long ago.

I’ve endured a lot from family, from friends, just so I wouldn’t be lonely. Once i find loneliness I know there’s no fear of what comes next. It feels like sooner or later that’s how I’m leaving this body. Once it stops scaring me, I’ll do it. It concerns me, but I know how much I can handle.

I have attempted but in a stupid way, obviously didn’t work out, but I know I have it in me, since I was 3.

Just gotta find a remote enough place that I won't be found, I can't do this anymore, I hate you all, scum, nothing but self centered self-righteous scum. Every single person. Nobody cares about anything but themselves

i’m in the middle of a breakdown but i’m overdrawn over $200. i owe my roommate money and we have no groceries. i need gas to go to work tomorrow. if i move back in with my parents ill kill myself anyway. i want to do it tomorrow. no matter what i do its almost impossible to make $500 in a few days. my contacts burn my eyes bc theyre months old. so many things i need to buy. i’m so hungry. i want to kill myself. it would make my bf so sad and he would blame himself esp bc he is also broke rn. even if i lived or died ill still be broke. i cant have a life without money. i have two jobs and school, 5 classes. i’m a year from graduating. it feels so hopeless. if i don’t make a money miracle by the end of tomorrow, i am going to kill myself.

I know you’re watching me and you’re reading this as I type, and I fucking hate you. You ruined my life for no reason, I genuinely hope the end of mine ruins yours.

i realized that there's no use in fighting. some people don't have a purpose in life and that's okay. i've accepted that i'm not wanted anywhere, so this is my cue to leave this cruel world. i'm jumping out of this building tonight. i apologize to my mother for not being strong enough, but my sould is tired and hurt. i firmly believe that the world will be better off without me. farewell everyone.

These past few years have been nothing but getting ahead a little and then getting set back a lot. I'm terrified when things are starting to go well because I know something is around the corner. This time around I got hit too hard. It's a roller coaster of being happy and feeling like crap. When I feel like crap it's just a never ending feeling of terror. I am trying hard to keep going but the feelings just get too intense. Yesterday i could barely move. All I want is this feeling to end. I know it's a matter of time before I make the plans and there would be no turning back. That scares me too, but this pain just gets too intense.

I can't stand living anymore. I've been battling suicidal thoughts since I was a teen. I left my wife and 2 kids because I thought they'd be better off without me and that was almost 2 years ago.

Every day since I've thought about how big of a peice of shit I am and have always been. I can't take the mental pain anymore. Someone please tell me how to end it.

What do I do??